re: Does your wife "want" to work?

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OP is controlling. Uncommon for men in high-profile careers. This is a true anomoly.

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Well he is a baller, shot caller.

But if they did both agree that she would be a stay at home, its not controlling at all. It takes teamwork to raise children.

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This. Kids who go to daycare usually are superior in their immune systems, social intelligence, and tend to be much more advanced in kindegarten-2nd grade than kids coddled by a mom with no other human interaction.

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Hahahah

The daycare kids are fricking weirdos

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How does one consider filing papers, typing shite, and answering phones for someone else to be more valuable than raising your own children?

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Agreed here. Associates degrees aren't really worth much unless it's in a technical area. For instance, an accounting degree would most likely only net you an in-house accounting job booking JEs from invoices and payments. That also in my eyes is not worth giving up raising your own kids.

I understand her point though. She wants to make something of herself and not only be labelled a stay-at-home mom. But she didn't really position herself well. I'm sure she's motivated, or you wouldn't be in this predicament.

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Her life basically revolves around going to the gym when she wants, getting massages when she wants, shopping when she wants, volunteering at my kid's school where she gets to hang out with her best friend who works in the office there, and traveling a couple times a month. Rough life. And not one ounce of gratitude.

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Sounds like she is a lady who is well adjusted to today's society. I bet she's very current on world events.

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No it wasn't, you gave her an ultimatum.


My wife works, she loves to work. She's not a stay at home mom. Both my kids have been in daycare since 2 months and they are well adjusted and socially advanced.

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Thread should have ended there.

OP sounds like a dick.

In a sense, you did hold her back from experience. OP should try to stay home with kids for YEARS. No thanks.

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She wants to make something of herself and not only be labelled a stay-at-home mom

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I fail to see how being a stay at home is being a failure (not making something of yourself). Raising good children is tough and I commend women who raise their kids right. A career is not a defining point of everyone's life. The children they leave after they pass are.

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Why don't you just let her get a job and work if that's what she wants? Your youngest kid should be in HS by now and as long as your child doesn't have any special needs there really is no benefit from "stay at home parenting" at this age.

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Like I said, the issue is sort of reconciled for the next few years because we travel so much for my kid's karate tournaments (and will for another 4 years or so). With neither of us working, we can travel whenever we want. This thread is more in the vein of "you would think a wife would be grateful for not having to work for the past 19 years." Sort of a spinoff from the lottery thread where someone mentioned telling their wife to quit her job if they won the lottery.

I'm not saying it's a failure at all. Plenty people are very comfortable with just being a stay-at-home mom. That doesn't meant that everyone will be comfortable though.

My wife is gonna work she needs to help support the family.

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Why not tell her to choose a career path, then go to school for that career? If she really wants to work. Or does she specifically want a job that she can get with her associates degree?

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This. Your kid is old enough that she can afford to not just be a homemaker any more (although that wouldn't hurt). Be supportive. Help her find a career that she thinks she will enjoy and then sit back and watch her hate it once she gets it. Then, she'll probably quit and be a home-maker again, but you look like a good husband who supported her every step of the way.

Make certain that she knows that this is her choice and that you are behind her 100%. In the end, she will most likely wind up with a part time job that gives her the flexibility to still be there for the kids, or she will hate working and come home, but love you more for being the supportive husband.