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Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:18 pm to SlowFlowPro
Currently spinning plates with an older and younger woman right now. I don't see the issue if you're upfront. Older women likely want that type of situation anyways
Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:22 pm to chryso
quote:
I think the combination of "casual" and "exclusive" in the above sentence does not work together. I think casual dating people as described is fine. I think that once it becomes exclusive it is implying the possibility of something longer term.
Agree with this guy ^
I think people should probably casually date more than they do these days. It is weird how casual dating is treated now.
But if you are "exclusive," you're in a committed relationship.. and I see no point of being in a committed relationship with someone you plan to break up with eventually. Unless you just mean exclusively sleeping with one person to prevent diseases but still get arse all the time..
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 1:24 pm
Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:24 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
But if you are "exclusive," you're in a committed relationship..
Paging ASUrob...
Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:28 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
Unless you just mean exclusively sleeping with one person to prevent diseases but still get arse all the time
Go read why I said guys would like exclusivity, lol
Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:30 pm to SlowFlowPro
As long as both sides are upfront about their intentions, what's the problem? Now, if one person is stringing the other along, that's another matter entirely.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:31 pm to zeebo
quote:
80% of your future happiness depends on who you marry.
So if you never marry or get divorced or they die...you are doomed?
Marriage isn't for everyone. And it won't magically make you happy if you aren't happy with yourself first.
To answer the OP....I say as it's fine as long as it's made very clear to the other person your intentions and you aren't in a situation where you are leading someone on to think marriage could happen later on.
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 2:21 pm
Posted on 4/1/15 at 1:53 pm to lsunurse
i think we all agree that lying to somebody in order to get personal gain is wrong. that's how i see "leading them on"
Posted on 4/1/15 at 2:17 pm to SlowFlowPro
if I dated someone older than me it would be someone really old. I'm currently dating a nursing student, a PA, and a nurse in another state.
Don't plan on getting married again. Got snipped to prevent unwanted events.
I have a question though. Do you offer to pay for the baby sitter? And if so do you just give her some money or ask how much was it.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 2:21 pm to Lithium
quote:
Do you offer to pay for the baby sitter?
no
Posted on 4/1/15 at 2:47 pm to SlowFlowPro
SFP, I always appreciate your posts, but I think you are off base on several points...I am by no means a "get married/settle down" type guy, but you sorely overlook the potential joy that having a family/children bring...even if it ends in divorce
The value in sharing a commitment with others, especially children is quite fulfilling, I would say there isn't an appropriate amount of money that could buy my son from me...making my time/money/efforts with him worth the risk of being a penniless codger in my mid50s. (Albeit, I've made financial decisions that make it impossible for me to be penniless, and I'm in my 30s.)
The value in sharing a commitment with others, especially children is quite fulfilling, I would say there isn't an appropriate amount of money that could buy my son from me...making my time/money/efforts with him worth the risk of being a penniless codger in my mid50s. (Albeit, I've made financial decisions that make it impossible for me to be penniless, and I'm in my 30s.)
Posted on 4/1/15 at 3:01 pm to LSUBoo
if you yourself are incapable of being vulnerable in love and fear been seen for who you are, only date casually. people have already suggested you be upfront about your inability to be a loving, vulnerable human, so...
The Catholic church has long attempted to teach that you become like the company you keep.
Sounds like you might actually learn something from the older woman in your scenario.
and rest assured, you are not alone. Lots of people of both sexes cannot do anything more than procreate.
You may be playing Russian roulette with your girl #2. She can get pregnant.
The Catholic church has long attempted to teach that you become like the company you keep.
Sounds like you might actually learn something from the older woman in your scenario.
and rest assured, you are not alone. Lots of people of both sexes cannot do anything more than procreate.
You may be playing Russian roulette with your girl #2. She can get pregnant.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 5:27 pm to IceTiger
quote:
but you sorely overlook the potential joy that having a family/children bring...even if it ends in divorce
i completely understand this. that's why i am in no rush to jump into marriage and i can wait for a very suitable partner
that's part of the point of not getting bogged down emotionally by non-candidates that may hurt my ability to go for a suitable long-term partner
now kids (or from this angle, finding a breeding partner, to make it sound scientific) is that situation x 100
like i said, i'm not a MGTOW
Posted on 4/1/15 at 5:29 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:Well, it would be creepy to be on the first date and let them know you aren't going to marrying and impregnating them.
that's how i see "leading them on"
You could follow it up with letting them know you were not going to be smacking em around either.
To your original question, just let it play out, we are all adults here and I don't think you have to define it one way or the other. And I don't think there is a moral issue either way, well, given we are pitching the whole premarital sex thing away. I am pretty sure we all agree it can come out of the Bible now anyhow.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 5:29 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
1. an older lady who is fun, but not really a long-term option (age, kids, lack of potential to have kids, etc). we'll call her classy.
2. a younger girl who is immature with warning signs re: marriage. we'll call her the brat. not a long-term option b/c you know she'll become too demanding and is highly likely to let herself go once she gets into a settled relationship. perfect for flirty dating, but a terrible option for a LTR
3. White guy dating a pretty light skinned black girl.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 5:31 pm to tigerfoot
quote:
Well, it would be creepy to be on the first date and let them know you aren't going to marrying and impregnating them.
shite. really?
i guess that's more evidence for my ex's theory that i'm on the spectrum.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 6:34 pm to SlowFlowPro
If you met the girl at a bar, no problem.
If you met the girl on a website designed to set up LTR, then it's kind of mean.
If you met the girl on a website designed to set up LTR, then it's kind of mean.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:05 pm to Goldrush25
quote:
It's ironic because I think I take the concept of marriage much more seriously than a lot of people that are already married. The possibility of doing it more than once isn't something I'm remotely open to. So my first one better be a good one, if it ever happens of course.
Exactly my thoughts. I am rather shocked at the circumstances surrounding various people that I've known that got married early 20s. Some were spot on and made sense, but I think in some there's the "oh-shite-college-is-ending-everyone-is-getting-engaged-I-should-too" groupthink going on. Maybe thats why it seems everyone is getting married at the same time. I would never let other people effect when I get married.
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