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re: Dating Morality Thread: Dating with No Intention of a Serious Relationship

Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:58 am to
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83525 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:58 am to
all that graph tells me is that people are going college more and waiting till their late 20s to marry
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421881 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:58 am to
one day i'm going to do my podcast and talk about these things with my dad.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
64401 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:59 am to
quote:

Man, I seemed to have gotten married at the exact right time. It has insulated me somewhat from these social trends that have risen the past few years.


I've been married going on 18 years and seeing all the crap that's going on nowadays, I feel the same way as you. I feel bad for to 20somethings today and the thought of the social world my kids will go out into when they're grown up terrifies me.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421881 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:02 am to
quote:

That shite is traumatic. I haven't had that kind of horrible relationship but I've seen a lot of them through family, friends and coworkers.

I think other people's experiences have definitely affected the way I date.

i do divorce law here and there and my friends are stating to reach the age of having cracks in their marriages

i told my mom this last time we got on this issue. i told her that those guys are taking a major risk that they won't be in financial distress with a bunch of kdis around and hit the dating market in their early-mid 30s. i refuse to take that risk. i will take the chance i can find somebody when i'm more settled (the risk is that i never marry and face loneliness in my old age). it's much better than taking the other risks by early marriage and breeding. divorce after that DESTROYS many guys
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83525 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:03 am to
I can see a divorce lawyer being bitter towards marriage

Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421881 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:06 am to
i hear horror stories more than i participate in them. i typically represent poor women with really bad baby daddies. mostly pro bono work, too
Posted by chryso
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2008
11852 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:08 am to
quote:

is is wrong to casually date in this instance when you have absolutely no intention of any sort of real commitment, other than an exclusive sexual relationship?



I think the combination of "casual" and "exclusive" in the above sentence does not work together. I think casual dating people as described is fine. I think that once it becomes exclusive it is implying the possibility of something longer term.
Posted by Pilot Tiger
North Carolina
Member since Nov 2005
73142 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:13 am to
quote:

I've read some the red pill nonsense and it just seems like a bunch of bitter guys that are upset that some chick dumped them
out of every 15 posts on there, there is maybe one or two that gives good advice without the hint of bitterness

all of the field reports are hilarious and sound like they're written by basement dwellers.

Like with most philosophies, there are some truths, but they are so blinded by anger at times that it bleeds into their written thoughts
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33794 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:17 am to
quote:

told my mom this last time we got on this issue. i told her that those guys are taking a major risk that they won't be in financial distress with a bunch of kdis around and hit the dating market in their early-mid 30s. i refuse to take that risk. i will take the chance i can find somebody when i'm more settled (the risk is that i never marry and face loneliness in my old age). it's much better than taking the other risks by early marriage and breeding. divorce after that DESTROYS many guys


I'm pretty much in the same boat. I think I'm better off for it.

It's ironic because I think I take the concept of marriage much more seriously than a lot of people that are already married. The possibility of doing it more than once isn't something I'm remotely open to. So my first one better be a good one, if it ever happens of course.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421881 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:18 am to
MGTOWs, too. they have some decent broad points, but they're typically just whiny little bitches

like, do i believe that there has been a mass feminization of society, done on purpose to feminize men and punish aggression, in order to attempt social engineering to bring men down to women's traits/limits? yes

do i believe there is a lot of frustration by engineered manginas when biology still rewards aggressive alphas? yes

do i believe that we should find/nurture our own value individually instead of trying to find somebody who "completes" us? yes

Posted by Pilot Tiger
North Carolina
Member since Nov 2005
73142 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:20 am to
agreed on all points

pretty much all goes to value

men are more valuable than they are being led to believe and the ones who realize this are killing it
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421881 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:25 am to
quote:

men are more valuable than they are being led to believe and the ones who realize this are killing it

yes

the problem is that any sort of male empowerment will be called misogynist, regardless of whether it even touches on women or not

a lot of the PUA stuff is just guys trying to get laid, which is attacked for objectifying women (which is another concept for another topic). underneath the PUA stuff is a lot of legitimate social psychology that many men need. i am one of those men (one day hopefully that statement is uttered in the past tense).
Posted by Pilot Tiger
North Carolina
Member since Nov 2005
73142 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:27 am to
yea the PUA stuff(in depth) is pretty disgusting imo, but the overall point of value is good.

And this could be applied to everything, not just in a PUA arena. Work, relationships, business, etc.

Posted by TigerPanzer
Orlando
Member since Sep 2006
9476 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:30 am to
quote:

is is wrong to casually date in this instance when you have absolutely no intention of any sort of real commitment, other than an exclusive sexual relationship?

There is NOTHING WRONG with these types of relationships. NOTHING. I honestly cannot understand why anyone would feel guilt or shame for being involved in such a relationship. They are good, healthy and most important of all, fun.

The only better relationship would be an enduring partnership based on genuine love. But how often does this happen? Why waste years and years of your life fumbling around to find such an improbable pairing when you could have plenty of sex and companionship by going with a Plan B.

Don't feel guilt--there's nothing to feel guilty about.
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:44 am to
quote:

Man, I seemed to have gotten married at the exact right time. It has insulated me somewhat from these social trends that have risen the past few years.

I've been actively dating for about 20 years and right now is no doubt about it the best time for guys in the dating world.

It's very easy to make connections and sift through bullshite with woman without having to go thought the typical bullshite.

Way way way more to choose from instead of having to pick through the local watering hole for women.

Can be more bold and brash with women.

Easier to get a sneak peak of the goods via pics, snap chats, etc. so you know what you are chasing.

Females are quick to speak highly of you if you are "good" at something which just makes you more intriguing to their friends or other women.


I can go on forever on why being a single guy at 30 in 2015 is pretty damn good.
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 12:30 pm to
Why would you waste your time? If I don't see it going anywhere, I end it.
Posted by Paige
Vice President of the OT
Member since Oct 2010
84748 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 12:41 pm to
I've had three serious long term, as in 2 years, relationships where i knew we didn't have a future together

We never had any kind of talk. But I'm sure I dropped that I was never getting married again
Posted by zeebo
Hammond
Member since Jan 2008
5193 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 12:46 pm to
There are some amazing women in this world. Every minute you spend with a girl that is not long term possibility, is a minute you are letting some other guy find the rare diamond. It has nothing to do with morals. 80% of your future happiness depends on who you marry.
Posted by Peazey
Metry
Member since Apr 2012
25418 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 12:52 pm to
If you are leading her on to believe that the relationship is leading to marriage then yes it is morally wrong. At some stage there should be a conversation for each person to understand what the relationship is. That said, plenty of men and women lead themselves to believe that a relationship is something that it isn't. Misunderstandings are probAbly frequently unavoidable, and as long as it's honest there is nothing reprehensible about that.
Posted by shinerfan
Duckworld(Earth-616)
Member since Sep 2009
22188 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 12:57 pm to
quote:

do you think a person has a duty in a relationship to tell the other person there is no long-term/serious future?



Yes. But as time goes on, either person is apt to disregard all that honesty and see what they want to see.
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