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re: Couples who stay together "for the kids"
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:13 am to fr33manator
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:13 am to fr33manator
These threads, or even talking with my buddies about this scares the shite out of me. I hope And pray that my wife never throws the towel in on our marriage.
0
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:13 am to dnm3305
Depends on how self centered and selfish you are, if your child's mental health and well being is more important than your ego you will stay and be a man.
My wife and I have been through hell and high water but we fought though it like mature people not quitters. We are now about to spend our 12th Christmas together being Santa to our 8 yr old together as a family.
This subject pisses me off because I see this shite all the time.
No matter what you think, Divorce hurts a child.
My wife and I have been through hell and high water but we fought though it like mature people not quitters. We are now about to spend our 12th Christmas together being Santa to our 8 yr old together as a family.
This subject pisses me off because I see this shite all the time.
No matter what you think, Divorce hurts a child.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:26 am to Tiger Ryno
quote:
Whoever the parent is that quit on the family should get cancer of the arse and mouth.
That's a pretty simplistic and moronic statement - often times people stay together for decades trying to keep the family together and to protect the kids - if things don't improve, then eventually everyone reaches their breaking point...eventually everyone in the whole family needs relief, including the kids...
Every situation is different - generalities such as "anyone who divorces is just being selfish and lazy" may be accurate at times, but is of the furthest thing from the truth.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:34 am to RedRifle
My wife and I got married when we were 18. We have raised 2 awesome sons that are turning into fine young men. This is our 21st Christmas together as husband and wife. We have been to hell and back for each other and with each other. If you love and respect each other and don't quit at the first sign of trouble then a couple can work through anything.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:34 am to The Torch
quote:
No matter what you think, Divorce hurts a child.
Meh, in your experience it is. Not saying it's healthy of good for children, but if you raised an intellectual and strong willed kid, then they can persevere and come through it stronger and more mature. If theyre sheltered and "nothing bad ever happens in the world" then of course a divorce will wreck them, especially if the parents sugarcoat what's really going on to "protect" them.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:35 am to TigerFanInSouthland
While that is such an idealized view of marriage, relationships don't work like that especially in the long term. Add kids into the mix and the stressors of life can really destroy a relationship.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:37 am to RedRifle
People that think divorce solves all their problems are delusional. If you're not happy now, you won't be happy afterwards. Once upon a time, you were really in love. Work on finding that love again, and be happy with who you're with.
This post was edited on 12/24/15 at 8:50 am
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:39 am to RedRifle
quote:
"nothing bad ever happens in the world"
This is how children should be until at least 10 or so, why expose a small child to all the shite in the word.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 8:57 am to The Torch
Divorce sucks. Someone taking your kids away from you sucks. Someone telling everyone it's your fault y'all are getting divorced sucks. Losing friends because of a divorce sucks.
i understand what FR33 is going through except not for the same reasons. (insert what I really want to say in my head because she knows my username and reads TD to see what I'm saying about her).
i understand what FR33 is going through except not for the same reasons. (insert what I really want to say in my head because she knows my username and reads TD to see what I'm saying about her).
Posted on 12/24/15 at 9:11 am to forever lsu30
quote:
The only situations that favored me were alcohol/drug abuse, a "secret" family/alternate life, or mental incapacity (due to a break from reality/stress/chemical imbalance type situation) on her end.
Hell, even if she just had an affair that isn't grounds for you to make out with anything.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 9:14 am to LucasP
quote:
Dumb. Just very dumb. Every time someone makes a broad generalization like that, it's fricking dumb. Every single time.
Good parents are good parents regardless of what's going on. If it's a hurricane or a divorce, good parenting will get a kid through it. To say it's categorically bad in all cases is dumb.
ETA this is the first time I've ever downvoted one of your posts Sabi. And that makes me sad, but this was a dumb thing you
I hate to make generalizations too, but the numbers just aren't in the kids' favors when they go through a divorce. It's not worth the risk, if you ask me.
Besides, I could be miserable in my marriage, but I would stick with it because not seeing my kids every day is just too much.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 9:15 am to bulldog95
Mine reads it too, maybe. at this point I don't care. We have a good working relationship and I don't bad mouth her. As far as ex wives go she's pretty good.
But yeah. It still sucks.
When the kids get old enough and ask why we don't live together, that's some music She'll have to face. I would have stuck it out and gone to counseling and done whatever. And I did change a lot of things.
But as I told some other guy that was about to go through it but didn't want to admit it yet, once they have the want to step out, it's pretty much over.
And the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on.
But yeah. It still sucks.
When the kids get old enough and ask why we don't live together, that's some music She'll have to face. I would have stuck it out and gone to counseling and done whatever. And I did change a lot of things.
But as I told some other guy that was about to go through it but didn't want to admit it yet, once they have the want to step out, it's pretty much over.
And the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 9:25 am to RedRifle
Every situation is as unique as the people that are involved in the marriage. You can't generalize and say stay together or just get divorced as a one size fits all answer.
Divorce is painful, especially when kids are involved and I feel for anyone who has to go through a divorce involving children or makes a conscious decision to "ride it out" in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids. Neither option is ultimately good.
Divorce is painful, especially when kids are involved and I feel for anyone who has to go through a divorce involving children or makes a conscious decision to "ride it out" in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids. Neither option is ultimately good.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 9:36 am to RedRifle
Screw the kids. Do what makes you happy. Kids are tough. They can handle it. Think of all the stuff you re missing
Posted on 12/24/15 at 9:52 am to weptiger
quote:
Every situation is as unique as the people that are involved in the marriage. You can't generalize and say stay together or just get divorced as a one size fits all answer.
Divorce is painful, especially when kids are involved and I feel for anyone who has to go through a divorce involving children or makes a conscious decision to "ride it out" in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids. Neither option is ultimately good.
This. My husband and i are both products of divorce. Mine split when i was 4, his stayed together until he was grown and married (little brother was 19). Both divorces hurt us. My parents' divorce in the early 80s affected us in random ways right up until my mother's death a few years ago. Despite problems we might have, neither of us would want our kids to experience that.
Kids go thru divorce "single file" meaning just because their friends or other siblings are experiencing it doesn't make their experience any easier. It took me about 9 years to get over the divorce. It happened when my sister was 9 and IDK that she ever got over it.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 10:28 am to Iron Lion
quote:
My wife and I got married when we were 18. We have raised 2 awesome sons that are turning into fine young men. This is our 21st Christmas together as husband and wife. We have been to hell and back for each other and with each other. If you love and respect each other and don't quit at the first sign of trouble then a couple can work through anything.
Signed, man with a wife who isn't bipolar...
Posted on 12/24/15 at 10:45 am to fr33manator
quote:
once they have the want to step out, it's pretty much over.
And the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on.
This. Men and women love differently. Women love opportunistically. Once a better deal is around (whatever that deal may be) you're dead to her.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 10:50 am to RedRifle
Marriage is outdated, and something we made up. Biology and evolution could careless about that piece of paper that ties people together.
Posted on 12/24/15 at 12:02 pm to RedRifle
Posted on 12/24/15 at 12:09 pm to Jcorye1
quote:
Divorce is one of the most brutal things a child can go through.
oh please
I would say molestation and abuse are much more brutal things a child can go through
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