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Message
Best man speech help
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:43 pm
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:43 pm
Good afternoon gentleman and scholars I need some assistance writing a best man speech.
Couple questions I have:
1.How long should it be
2.what should I include
Also I do believe I've found my opening line it is as follows:
What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where none can say a bad word against him? Well, that’s enough about the best man. I’m here to talk about (grooms name).
And for what it's worth the groom is a mediocre plant operator
Thanks in advance
Couple questions I have:
1.How long should it be
2.what should I include
Also I do believe I've found my opening line it is as follows:
What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where none can say a bad word against him? Well, that’s enough about the best man. I’m here to talk about (grooms name).
And for what it's worth the groom is a mediocre plant operator
Thanks in advance
21
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:44 pm to PaulBurbank007
"How about that drive in? I guess that's why they call it Laplace".
That's what I opened with.
That's what I opened with.
This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 4:45 pm
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:45 pm to PaulBurbank007
I usually just set an over/under on how long the marriage will last and then start taking bets.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:47 pm to PaulBurbank007
quote:
And for what it's worth the groom is a mediocre plant operator
You could talk about how much money he makes.
Seriously though, I do a top 10 list ala David Letterman. Write it on cards and give the cards to the bride and groom as a keepsake.
Usually it is top ten reasons John and Jane decided to get married or Top ten pieces of advice for marriage.
always fun, quick and a hit.
This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 4:48 pm
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:47 pm to PaulBurbank007
I talked about the wife's tits. She didn't like that. Not. One. Bit.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:48 pm to Ruxin
quote:
I talked about the wife's tits. She didn't like that. Not. One. Bit.
I think I did that once. Bride is still mad at me after 8 or nine years. she really hates me.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:49 pm to PaulBurbank007
quote:
1.How long should it be
See answer to #2
quote:
2. what should I include
Nothing but Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes...at least 6 of them.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:50 pm to PaulBurbank007
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:51 pm to PaulBurbank007
2 minutes tops. Tell the story about when groom told u about bride for first time. Embellishing is allowed to a certain extent . Then let the brides peeps know there getting a solid addition to the family. I closed with thanking the father of the groom for reconsidering charging admission to the party ..... you have to know him. 
Good Luck have fun with it
Good Luck have fun with it
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:51 pm to Motorboat
I think she's coming around. It's been 5 years.
Still worth it.
Still worth it.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:52 pm to PaulBurbank007
'i'll never forget the seemingly endless amounts of pussy we slayed in our days as bachelors before that old ball and chain over there got ahold of him, alas, all good things must come to an end...'
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:53 pm to PaulBurbank007
Abortion jokes usually bring a lot of laughs.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 4:54 pm to PaulBurbank007
Open with a joke.
Thank everyone for coming. Thank the parents.
Tell a funny and slightly embarrassing personal story about your relationship with the groom (be appropriate). Keep it short, but make sure the story has a payoff.
Compliment the bride and say how lucky the groom is.
Raise a glass and say a toast.
Thank everyone for coming. Thank the parents.
Tell a funny and slightly embarrassing personal story about your relationship with the groom (be appropriate). Keep it short, but make sure the story has a payoff.
Compliment the bride and say how lucky the groom is.
Raise a glass and say a toast.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:00 pm to PaulBurbank007
My standard ending of this type speech, and I've done two, is a winner with bride and her/his parents. Especially if they are cringing about this speech because they know your a bit of a jokester prone to say almost anything.
blah, blah, blah...."Please raise your glasses for a toast. My toast is about lying, fighting and stealing...(a nice pause here for effect) lye next to your bride every night, fight the world for her safety and steal her heart everyday."
thank me later
blah, blah, blah...."Please raise your glasses for a toast. My toast is about lying, fighting and stealing...(a nice pause here for effect) lye next to your bride every night, fight the world for her safety and steal her heart everyday."
thank me later
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:00 pm to xenythx
No inside jokes
Say something about how great she is
Tell a touching story...ideally with a Bill Clinton-esque moment where you pause to hold back your emotions
Use some humor
Prepare a toast
Say something about how great she is
Tell a touching story...ideally with a Bill Clinton-esque moment where you pause to hold back your emotions
Use some humor
Prepare a toast
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:05 pm to PaulBurbank007
quote:
How long should it be
under 5 minutes
quote:
what should I include
include something funny (embarassing but appropriate) and something to let everyone know that the groom is a solid dude. i like your opening but i'd try to shorten it since it's kind of an obvious joke (not necessarily a bad thing). i did a speech where i told a bunch of stories about my brother, some funny, some good and some smarmy:
"mike is the guy who will sing led zeppelin at the top of his lungs at 5AM on the way to go fishing...
mike is the guy who will take off of work on a monday morning at the drop of a hat to help you skin a deer...
mike is the guy, who doesn't smoke cigars, but will buy a 6 foot tall, 300 lb humidor and leave it in your garage for 3 years while he tries to 'flip' it...
mike is the guy who will pickup a steak from Outback for his girlfriend while she's studying and have a frozen dinner himself..."
obviously, i'm no shakespear. it worked out well though. your audience is going to laugh at even bad jokes though since they're expecting something funny and everyone's in a good mood since they're drinking and it's a wedding.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:09 pm to PaulBurbank007
I got drunk and started out with "no one is sadder tonight than the lovely ladies at The Ritz, but fortunately the all had their fun with ......... at the bachelor party Saturday night and finished with smiles."
You could have heard a pin drop after that, the grooms grandparents turned white as ghosts and the preacher hung his head low.
Never ask me to be a best man
You could have heard a pin drop after that, the grooms grandparents turned white as ghosts and the preacher hung his head low.
Never ask me to be a best man
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:16 pm to Old Sarge
Funny thing I've noticed, is that guys, who are generally slackers and shitheads, will have a really nice speech planned...that's funny, original, unique, touching, while the woman will usually get up there unrehearsed and blather on about how much she loves the bride and how great of friends they are (and maybe start crying).
This post was edited on 2/26/15 at 5:17 pm
Posted on 2/26/15 at 5:21 pm to PaulBurbank007
based on that killer opening line, you don't need any help
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