re: Favorite obscure office quotes

Dwight (showing picture of weed): Do you know what this is?

Creed: That is northern lights cannibus indigo.

Dwight (dejected): No, it's marijuana.

"You can really tell he is fine taking a picture with me, even though i was there for a disciplinary reasons."

This picture absolutely cracks me up everytime. David Wallace face. Hahaha.

Creed's random arse lines always made me laugh so hard

Toby (panting): Where are we?

Kelly: I don't know. Like five kilometers from the office.

Toby: He couldn't have made it a circle?

"I'm not superstitious...I'm just a little stitious."

"I underestimated you, Michael"
"Well, Jan, maybe next time you will estimate me"

quote:

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retarded

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You don't call retarded people "retards". It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. - Michael Scott

Oscar while showing Michael a PowerPoint on his finances:

"And this scary black bar is things that nobody ever needs, like professional bass fishing equipment and multiple magic sets."

Andy: I've always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a 1220. Always regretted it... I feel lachrymose.

I'm bumping this because this thread made me start a rewatch and I got to a quote yesterday from Michael that I'd forgotten about that made me LOL so damn hard.

"Another time, Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like a minute. Guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired"

[Coldplay’s Clocks]
Jim: Time. Space. Gender. [Dwight mouthing words] There are no rules anymore. All boundaries are breaking down in the wake of the infinite future. The only thing that -- the only thing that remain -- the only thing that remains are the things that have stood the test of time -- love, values, and of course, the pyramids -- the strongest shape ever constructed, a shape that fits all other shapes inside of it. [softly] No, that’s --
Dwight: It’s true.
Jim: This... is the future, because... This is the past. I’ve been through a lot of issues in my life. I’ve seen drug addiction -- unemployment. I’ve been in a relationship that tore my heart apart, without ever being able to accept that love drove the pain. [scattered applause]
Dwight: Yep.
Jim: When I was ten years old, my parents took me to Disney world. I cried the whole time. I was not able to comprehend the beauty that was before me. I just wanted... to go home. This is what the Pyramid will do for you. It is the bridge to the world. It has a usb port. Wireless... will be available in 2013. You can play Anything from Chuck to Cars 2. With the Pyramid, you have the connection to everything -- in time... and space.
Crowd: ahhhhhh
Dwight: Psst.
Jim: Oh.
Ryan: [image on Pyramid] Sabre... It’s time... to come home.
Crowd: [applause]
Jim: All right. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow! And good night! [applause continues]
Jim: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.