Little one on the way

If you have an HSA between you or your wife, max it out if you aren't already. That will help with the medical expenses.

Once you get to daycare time and all if it comes to that, dont forget about using a dependent care FSA to pay for some of that pre-tax. Think that's up to $5000/yr there which should at least cover a good chunk of daycare.

Obviously a 529 or ESA would be good to open to start saving for college as well once they little one comes along.

Just some money saving tips to get some tax breaks on stuff you'll just have to pay for.

Open up a 529, good tax benefits if you have the bandwidth

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HSA between you or your wife, max it out if you aren't already.

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On this note, do this, but if you can afford to pay out of pocket do it and keep the money in your HSA. You can actually move that money to an investment account and continue to contribute and let it grow, and withdraw from it at a later date with no taxes on the gaines as long as you're withdrawing for healthcare, obviously.

I'm paying for this baby (and any health expenses right now) out of pocket, then will keep all receipts to withdraw from the HSA in 10-30 years whenever I decide.

Congratulations!

If possible:

Start with $300 per month into 529 account.
If a girl, $100 per month into wedding fund.

...stop once desired value achieved (factoring in compounding). Error on side of under-funding.

Skip the daycare and actually do the right (and difficult) thing, which is raise them yourself. Here come the downvotes. Discipline them by breaking their will without crushing their spirit. Get off your phone and spend lots of time with them while they are young. Kids are a lot of fun. Don't do clothe diapers. Eat dinner, pray, and read the bible with them. Get some sleep when you can. Protect them from liberalism but don't shelter them. Watch what you say. That's it.

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Skip the daycare and actually do the right (and difficult) thing, which is raise them yourself.

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Obligatory congrats on the secs. Get on those daycare waitlist now. I'd also start a 529 plan. Its got pretty good tax benefits.

Daycare runs me 1k a month for our two kids and I think that's pretty cheap respectively.

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All of this

I have an 18 month old and I tried with my parents to get them to contribute to his 529 instead of buying junk, but that didn’t workout. They want the satisfaction of seeing him playing with a toy for 5 seconds over actually benefiting him in the long run

As for the OP, I’d say open a 529 plan and contribute what you can. The state tax break is a nice benefit for setting aside money. I’ve also opened a separate trading account in my name that I hope to one day use to help him put a down payment on a home or something of that nature but I didn’t want to do a custodial type account where ownership would transfer at a certain age because no matter how good of a parent I think my wife and I are/will be, nothing says our toddler will turn out great and be able to responsibly handle a decent sum of money at 18 or 22.

In retrospect, make sure you save for your retirement until maxed out. If you have money left to fund a 529, that is good.

My kids ended up getting big scholarships so we had money leftover.
The 529 will let you change the beneficiary to others including grandchildren, your self, your spouse, niece and nephew.

Outdoor vacations like the beach, mountains, or Grand Canyon are better than theme parks.

You don’t need a bunch of different activities every week. Play sports in season. Play a variety of different ones.
Some team, some individual. Don’t overdo the sports thing until they really want to pursue it. Eighth or ninth grade is the earliest I would consider travel ball. By then they would be big enough and played enough to really want to do it more often.

Pick a hobby to do together. Repairing small things at home, cooking, chess, bridge.

Resist the expensive photo session. I’ve got museum quality photos of my kids that cost a fortune, but your phone can take a good picture. School pictures are not any better than you take. Most men will agree with this. Most women feel obligated to purchase the photos.