WOWYE? Caution! Food Porn.

Darla gave me the idea. These are my final 5. Each one is 5 bucks during burger week. Which One Would You Eat if you could have one.

1.) Mole Madre
Migration Brewing has decided to migrate (ha!) down to the Southwest for its burger, a beef patty covered in mole ketchup, cotija, tomatillo dressing, and (most importantly) fried avocado. Yes, fried avocados. Avocados, as you know, are delicious green fat bombs that are basically vegan butter, and Migration has gone ahead and made them even more decadent by frying them. It works great. You didn't know that you wanted fried guacamole on your burger, but now you do. Being a brewery, Migration has plenty of beer on offer, and their Terry's Porter pairs well with the Mole Madre. The smoky notes in that brew compliment the Southwest flavors of the burger, giving the impression of a sweet chipotle.


2.) Whiskey Ginger Burger
Walking into the Double Barrel feels like you’re entering the dusty saloon of Bonanza, but with much better food. The Division watering hole is replete with mounted steer horns, a floor-to-ceiling deer tableau, and its namesake—stacked pairs of barrels holding up each end of the bar. This year they’re putting a libation-inspired spin on their Burger Week entry, the Whiskey Ginger Burger. This Painted Hills ground chuck patty is succulently juicy and smothered in rich smoked jalapeño cheddar and butter leaf lettuce. The whiskey comes into play from sweet, whiskey-grilled caramelized onions, while the ginger’s in the candied ginger aioli. It’s the kind of burger you can’t help but inhale, then dream about ’til you have another.


3.) The Argentine
Iconic's burger has already been before a panel of judges where it was deemed delectable. I agree. Four crew members of the NE Broadway's kitchen competed to see whose burger would be the lounge's official Burger Week entry, and this juicy hunk of Argentinean-style burger won. Mixed within the ground beef of the patty is a treasure trove of bone marrow! WHA?! But even more delicacies abound: Beneath arugula, there are quick-marinated onions and a slice of tomato atop a hill of creamy chimichurri and melted manchego cheese. If this international cornucopia weren't enough, Iconic includes a carrot slaw on the side. The Argentine is a hot mess of a thing—in the best possible way—so your plate will be full of cheesy, gooey drips, but so will your stomach. Use a fork if you have to, and thank the kitchen on your way out.


4.) Figgy Smalls
I’ll admit to a twinge of trepidation when I heard Church was making a “sweet” burger: Since I consume 99 percent of my sugar in the form of table wine, I don’t have a ton of room in my life for dessert foods. Happily, the Figgy Smalls is far more complex than merely sweet: Ground chuck is given strong character with the addition of a remarkable housemade fig and jalapeño jam, which finds a perfect balance of sweet-and-spicy savoriness. Much like a dessert, though, indulgence is the name of the game here, with a healthy smear of double cream brie and butter-toasted almonds, all on a Grand Central potato bun. The concoction takes its inspiration from bacon-wrapped figs, and it’s one of the most inventive takes on the burger you’re likely to find, this week or ever. Plus, the Church staff is ready for those who’ll come knocking with ravenous curiosity, making the odd but charming promise that each burger will be served up by “two guys wearing shade-less sunglasses.” Apparently, it’s a thing.


5.) General Tso's Chicken Burger
If you’ve ever eaten a hom bao (the best kind of pork roll, heart eyes emoji) at a Chinese grocery store, you know that a good, pillowy bao (the bun part) is one of life’s great pleasures, just a little softer and sweeter and lighter than anything else resembling bread. So it’s with unmitigated glee that I bring you this news: A chewy, fluffy bao is the vehicle for brewery/Chinese restaurant BTU Brasserie’s Burger Week meal, and the centerpiece isn’t a slab of beef because it’s a General Tso’s chicken burger! Chicken burgers can be pretty boring; this one is not. Building on what he describes as the “touchstone of junky American Chinese food,” BTU chef Chris Bogart has created a burger using crispy fried chicken covered in napa cabbage salad, Chinese sausage, and shiitake mushroom jam, all piled high between two bao buns topped with toasted sesame seeds. The General Tso’s chicken is golden, a little bit gooey, and the perfect ratio of savory to sweet, with a soft texture to match the miracle that is the bao.


Ah hell. Here's the link to the rest of the burgers.

Portland Burger Week