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re: Asking for Money in lieu of wedding registry

Posted on 4/7/14 at 11:10 am to
Posted by hiltacular
NYC
Member since Jan 2011
19667 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 11:10 am to
quote:

i have no problem with this, my wife hates the idea. she has a good friend getting married and they have a very small registry and want everyone to give them cash to pay for the over the top honeymoon they cant afford otherwise. i told her the other night just give them the cash they want she said hell no! women and there damn wedding principles


I really don't see an issue with asking for money as long as the invitation says something like this:

"The couple has opted to not setup a registry due to current living conditions. If you are compelled by extreme generosity, they are accepting cash gifts".

I think that is fine.
Posted by SeaPickle
Thibodaux
Member since May 2011
3132 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 12:22 pm to
So i just got married this past weekend and we had lived together after college and already had a house for a year so we had everything already also. What we did was set up a "honeyfund" where people can deposit money and you can use it for your honeymoon. I guess people are lazy and/or dumb because we only got about 5 donations to the honeyfund and $1000 dollars in gift cards and gifts to bed bath and beyond.

on a side note, BBB told us they can only exchange the gifts for a gift card! Why would some stores do that and not others?
Posted by Golfer
Member since Nov 2005
75052 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 12:27 pm to
quote:

on a side note, BBB told us they can only exchange the gifts for a gift card! Why would some stores do that and not others?



Unless its a new policy, ask to speak to a manager.

Wife and I ended up with 17 china settings. Brought 11 of them back. @$112/pop to BBY for cash. Didn't bring them all at once because they don't have that much extra cash on hand. The item has to be on your registry and purchased from your registry to get cash, though.

At worst, put the GC on Ebay and get 85% of the value if you want the cash.
Posted by Tigerpaw123
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2007
17252 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 12:32 pm to
quote:

I guess people are lazy and/or dumb because we only got about 5 donations to the honeyfund


Maybe they were not lazy nor dumb and did not approve of dishing out cash as a gift
Posted by SeaPickle
Thibodaux
Member since May 2011
3132 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 12:43 pm to
quote:

Maybe they were not lazy nor dumb and did not approve of dishing out cash as a gift


Well by the time the wedding came around, everything had been bought off of the BBB registry so they intentionally bought items again and again. As long as we can find a manager or certain BBB store to give us cash and not more gift cards, it will all work out
Posted by Golfer
Member since Nov 2005
75052 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 12:45 pm to
They are giving you Gift Cards because the items you were returning were technically not on your registry. That's no different than a standard purchase. You've got to keep an eye out on the registry and how much is left.
Posted by dafuqusay
Houston
Member since Mar 2014
768 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 12:54 pm to
quote:

So i just got married this past weekend and we had lived together after college and already had a house for a year so we had everything already also. What we did was set up a "honeyfund" where people can deposit money and you can use it for your honeymoon


This is what we did. We ended up collecting around $7K I think which was used for our honeymoon in Hawaii. We only recieved one traditional gift, some plateware.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97615 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 1:06 pm to
I sold my BBB gift cards on ebay
Posted by Golfer
Member since Nov 2005
75052 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 1:13 pm to
I'm always amazed at how much I get for GC's on ebay. I'll sell a $25 gift card to some random restaurant that I don't have in BR or hate (Logan's Roadhouse) for $22...

Posted by joeytiger
Muh Mom's House
Member since Jul 2012
6037 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:15 pm to
quote:

I'd ask for gift cards before I ask for just cash.


We did this and on top of the money dance, we had more than enough for the honeymoon and some home upgrades. I just didn't feel comfortable asking for cash, but I don't see a problem with it.
Posted by ZereauxSum
Lot 23E
Member since Nov 2008
10176 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:31 pm to
quote:

This is what we did. We ended up collecting around $7K I think which was used for our honeymoon in Hawaii. We only recieved one traditional gift, some plateware.


I think this is a fantastic idea, but apparently this makes us trashy.

"Yeah, I'll buy that beautiful china set that you really don't want/need on your registry, but frick paying for your honeymoon so you can enjoy your time with your wife! That crap ain't important!"
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97615 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:40 pm to
Traditionally honeymoon is paid by grooms parents so you shouldn't have to worry about that
Posted by Cdawg
TigerFred's Living Room
Member since Sep 2003
59443 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:49 pm to
quote:

I understand that to some this is taboo, but my fiancé and I already live together and have more than enough junk. Is it alright to ask for money to go towards things like honeymoon, first home, and stuff of that nature?

I'd have no problems making a contribution towards first home payment if it's labeled that way and you're under 30. But just asking for cash straight up seems a little tacky.
Posted by DWaginHTown
Houston, TX
Member since Jan 2006
9856 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:54 pm to
Are you Vietnamese?
Posted by Layabout
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2011
11082 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:59 pm to
quote:

ask for money to go towards things like honeymoon, first home, and stuff of that nature?

Never correct to ask for cash. Wedding gifts are intended to help struggling newlyweds establish a household. Since you jumped the gun and already established your household, why should your guests pay for your luxury items?
This post was edited on 4/7/14 at 4:00 pm
Posted by Jimmy2shoes
The South
Member since Mar 2014
11004 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:59 pm to
I'm not giving cash.. You would get a crappy mixer or ice tea maker that you would have to work to return for cash

Posted by LSUAfro
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2005
12775 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 4:17 pm to
I'm not giving cash to anybody except nieces or nephews and $20 or whatever for a money dance.

If you have everything you "need". You don't need my cash .
Posted by ZereauxSum
Lot 23E
Member since Nov 2008
10176 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 4:25 pm to
quote:

Traditionally honeymoon is paid by grooms parents so you shouldn't have to worry about that


Maybe this is my problem...I don't come from a traditional family and I didn't have a traditional wedding.

So glad I don't have to worry about any of this
Posted by SirSaintly
Uptown, New Orleans
Member since Feb 2013
3131 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 4:25 pm to
Asking for cash is tacky and extremely trashy imo. If you dont need crap, then don't register for crap. If a guest offers cash as a gift, it's ok to take but you should never ask. If you can't afford your honeymoon or a down payment on a house, then dont go on a fancy honeymoon or buy a house. Dont expect your friends, distant relatives, coworkers etc to foot the bill.
Posted by bryken89
GD
Member since Apr 2009
467 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 4:25 pm to
The reason we don't need a bunch of stuff is we aren't sure if once I graduate in may, that we will be attending grad/ law school here in Louisiana or Texas. Or if i take a job with my dads company in Texas. We already have a house that we are renting full of stuff.
This post was edited on 4/7/14 at 4:38 pm
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