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re: ***Saint's Talk's Third Annual DATTY AWARDS ceremony

Posted on 3/1/13 at 9:50 am to
Posted by Hugo Stiglitz
Member since Oct 2010
72937 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 9:50 am to
But who will win the Ingram?
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:02 am to
We caught up with a key player on the Saints Defense to get his opinions on the awards so far and to hopefully present a few more. We couldnt think of a better face for the next set of awards.



"I just would like to say i am appalled at how yall treat Goodell around here. He is a great commissioner and deserves our respect. I will be sure to tweet about this later."

Reporter: Mr. Shanle how do you respond to accusations that you should be fired. We asked several people around New Orleans about you and here are some of their comments:
"Who?"
"The bald guy that's like 40?"
"That guy's still playing?"
"I think i saw him tackle a guy once. But im not sure."

Shanle:

As long as I have those pics of Benson and Loomis tag teaming 2 goats and a chicken, I think I'll be around to miss tackles for a few more years.

Now without further adieu, allow me to present



The Wilkerson- presented to the dumbest poster



This one went into a runoff. And the battle was tense, but like the story of my life, the dumbest person won and everyone else lost. Everyone. Especially the fans.






The 2013 Dumbest poster is:

LSU fans in general









can beathe a sigh of relief



Because the winner is:

Jazzy jizzlover Jeff Duncan


He could not be reached for comment as he is typing an article about how horrible the backlash against Goodell is and how deep up the commissioner's arse his head is.



Up next,
The Fred Astaire - presented to the bigebiggest bandwagoner



Another close race, but rittdog takes home the trophy.



Reporter: Mr. Shanle have you ever won an award?





Actually yes. I have won an ward much like this next one. Except it goes to players, not posters. A highly honored award. One which is bestowed upon someone special every year.


Erxleben- presented to the worst poster of the year


It wasn't even close. This man gets alot of votes around here, come on down:

JazzyJeff


Unfortunately he still cannot be reached for comment as he is submitting an article titled: "Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis, should they be fired?"


Before i presnt the awards named after me allow me to take my shirt off and present the thread awards



That's better.

This year the same thread won both best and worst thread of the year. We all remember how hilariously awful it was. I cant think of a better one myself:

This years Baghead and XLIV winner is:

were going to get blown out

IceCold immortalized the thread and secured its early victory with the iconic line:

quote:

I've banned you so you can concentrate on watching instead of shitting on this board.


Now for the award named after yours truly. No one deserves this award more in the history of Saints Talk. You used to be fun, you used to be cool, then the Falcons won and you acted a fool.

The Shanle- presented to the poster who has had a few decent moments, but we all just want him gone now
Double Down



We'll be right back after these short messages from our sponsors.
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:11 am to
Jack Nicholson dropped by to inform you all that we officially have a sticky.

Sit tight as a special guest is on his way.

Posted by Patrick O Rly
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
41187 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:12 am to
Posted by BarbeTiger
Mr. White's Lab Yo
Member since Jan 2012
6179 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:14 am to
that was great
Posted by liquid rabbit
Boxtard BPB®© emeritus
Member since Mar 2006
60247 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:24 am to
You're knocking 'em dead, bub!
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:35 am to
Our special guest got delayed. We apologize.

To make up for it in the interim,

our interim Head Coach, Aaron Kromer:



Mr. Kromer go ahead.



Mr. Kromer, do you have anything to say?



Oh thats right, he never talks. Ever.



The Saints franchise asked me to officially apologize for that horrible decision, here to present the next two awards, a man who averages 3.9 YPC, a man who has only fumbled once in his NFL career, a man who still loves his college team, the best RB on a the roster, a man who cant help running right into an olineman's butt,






Mark Ingram:


"Thanks for having me at the DATTY's Saints Talk. I'll try my hardest to play better next year. You know, i was being compared to Emmit Smith when i came out of college. Its an honor just to be compared.

First let me present a coveted award here. I brought the trophy with me. Spit shined it myself. The closest race in this year's DATTYs, but one man was able to edge it out. I consider this man a brother, a best friend, a loyal fan, Chad504boy come on down and receive The Ingram



What an honor for an honorable man."





*now a quick message from out sponsors*

Hi, I'm Joe Horn. I wanted to be here to present this next award, but I was unable to attend as I am selling my latest product at Rouses. I would like to remind everyone that nothing goes with the DATTYs like my Bayou 87 Sausage. Make sure to pick up some of my special BBQ sauce as well.


*now back to your regularly scheduled programming*






Welcome back. Try some of that stuff. I love Joe Horn's sausage in my mouth. The next award is named after the same great man.

The Joe Horn- presented to the poster with the greatest sense of self importance




This one was close as well. Lester almost took home his 4th DATTY of the year. But in the end only one man is the least humble, over confident, egotistical man on this board, come on down

Chad504boy

Congrats to you sir. Although im guessing you already knew you won this award and think you deserve a few more. You are awarded a free pack of sausage. We all know you love the sausage in your mouth, just like Mr. Ingram.
This post was edited on 3/1/13 at 10:37 am
Posted by Brettesaurus Rex
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2009
38259 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:36 am to
Posted by liquid rabbit
Boxtard BPB®© emeritus
Member since Mar 2006
60247 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:38 am to
quote:

I love Joe Horn's sausage in my mouth.



Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166077 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:41 am to
I'd like to civilly thank all you people. Its people like you that make it possible for people like me to receive these type of Datty's. Cheers.

Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:50 am to


A short message from a Huge Man. A man who wrapped up over 100 sacks, over 1000 tackles, and over 1000000 caloies, a Hall of Famer, a legend, a member of the Dome Patrol, the City Champ, the Enforcer,



Mr. Jackson is one of the best players to wear the Black and Gold and he's here to present the award named after himself.


I owe too much child support, so I cant stay long with you kids, but this years winner of

The Rickey - presented to the Board Enforcer


is your master of ceremonies for the evening.

Bressus



Posted by goatmilker
Castle Anthrax
Member since Feb 2009
64126 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:52 am to
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:53 am to
Special thanks goes to Chad, who got me unbanned after i got into a fight with TigerKnights. Without Chad, I might not be here today. Chad, I'll never forget you. You sure are important. There should be an award for that.
Posted by Hazelnut
Member since May 2011
16431 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:55 am to
This is great
Posted by BarbeTiger
Mr. White's Lab Yo
Member since Jan 2012
6179 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:57 am to
quote:

I owe too much child support, so I cant stay long with you kids,


Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166077 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 10:57 am to
Posted by CocoLoco
Member since Jan 2012
29108 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 11:05 am to
quote:

Rookie of The Year 2013,

CocoLoco




Wow, I don't know what to say, really. What an honor this is. Rookie of the year?

















I am getting laid tonight because of this, thank you all.




















Breesus, you are killing it. You really are putting on a great sho.... hold on. Hold on.

I see Goodell decided to show up.
















Posted by liquid rabbit
Boxtard BPB®© emeritus
Member since Mar 2006
60247 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 11:05 am to
quote:

Bressus
Posted by BarbeTiger
Mr. White's Lab Yo
Member since Jan 2012
6179 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 11:10 am to


Hold up fam, BarbeTiger had the best rookie year of all time
Posted by Midget Death Squad
Meme Magic
Member since Oct 2008
24465 posts
Posted on 3/1/13 at 11:13 am to
quote:

Bressus



can't even spell his own name. sigh....
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