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Dave Barry’s list of tips for winning any argument on any topic. (The last point is still used copiously by Germany’s Ur-Infantile Left. Multicultural Extremism flourishes in the shadow of Hitler.) Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks. You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are: You’re begging the question. You’re being defensive. Don’t compare apples to oranges. What are your parameters? This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what “parameters” means. Don’t forget the classic: YOU’RE SO LINEAR. Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler. This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right, and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, “That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say,” or “You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler.”

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