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Jester King responds to critics of their farmhouse beers

Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:34 am
Posted by LoneStarTiger
Lone Star State
Member since Aug 2004
15945 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:34 am
quote:


We’ve been hearing it for years — “I haven’t liked a Jester King beer ever since they stopped making original Black Metal.” Every time we announce the release of a fresh seasonal fruit re-fermentation or a complex, nuanced saison, we are reminded that there is no longer any interest in our beer, as we no longer brew original Black Metal Imperial Stout. However, it wasn’t until noted critic, Beer Advocate poster AllzUrWhalezBro, recently commented, “JK tastes like a dog pised[sic] in a buckett[sic] & then someone spiled[sic] some jam in the buket[sic] & then they left the busket[sic] outside for a year &why do pepl[sic] pay $ for this?” that we finally realized the error of our ways. While we thought there was a place in the beer world for subtle, complex, slow fermentations with our mixed culture of brewers yeast and native yeast and bacteria harvested from the air and land around our brewery in the Texas Hill Country, AllzUrWhalezBro’s eloquent and nuanced takedown of our brewery has brought us back to reality.

After much discussion and debate, we at Jester King have decided to begin moving in a different direction. Starting today, we will be turning our brewery completely over to the production of original Black Metal Imperial Stout, fermented with our famous, one-of-a-kind English Ale Yeast purchased from a commercial yeast laboratory. We are already in the process of clearing out our barrel room and dumping the last of our barrel stock in anticipation of the twenty new fermenters due to arrive next week from artisanal tank producer ? ? in China.


Original Black Metal Imperial Stout is 111.7% alcohol by volume, has a finishing gravity of 1.108, and is 1,467IBUs. It will be packaged exclusively in 32-oz. cans, or “crowlers,” which is the perfect serving size and vessel for this beer. As we will no longer need a tasting room after this transition, all Black Metal will be sent out for distribution. Look for it in stores soon!




The "description from BA" sounds a lot like something B would write about brett beers

This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 9:36 am
Posted by GrammarKnotsi
Member since Feb 2013
9346 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:39 am to
Posted by BottomlandBrew
Member since Aug 2010
27098 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:41 am to
If only they really made something like that. I'd play Edward 40 hands with it.
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 9:42 am
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
101919 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:41 am to




...but Original Black Metal Stout is the tits.
Posted by Dire Wolf
bawcomville
Member since Sep 2008
36637 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:46 am to
God forbid their fans want them to a beer they enjoy.

That might have been the most Austin thing I have ever read.


Edit: oh yeah it's April first
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 9:54 am
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
58760 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:47 am to
I don't get it.
Posted by GrammarKnotsi
Member since Feb 2013
9346 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:48 am to
quote:

I don't get it.



Its April first, prepare for "funny" beer things all day
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81202 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:48 am to
"Farmhouse is dead. Black is back"

This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 9:49 am
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
58760 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:50 am to
quote:

Its April first, prepare for "funny" beer things all day


Ah. You know, I try to kind of get the beer thing, I really do. At the end of the day, I just don't.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81202 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:53 am to
That's fine and all.. what brought you into a Jester King thread though?
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
58760 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:57 am to
quote:

That's fine and all.. what brought you into a Jester King thread though?


Because I really do try. I certainly do appreciate the craft beer movement. I credit this board for my appreciation of a nice IPA every so often. I know I'll just never move from the laity ranks into the priestly ranks of "beer people." And that's fine.
Posted by BMoney
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2005
16272 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:59 am to
quote:

The "description from BA" sounds a lot like something B would write about brett beers


No, the dog pissed on Band-Aids in a bucket filled with jam and left outside for a year.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83579 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:00 am to
one of the tasting notes on my homebrew in the GR competition was "band aids"

that and asphault

it hurt
Posted by LoneStarTiger
Lone Star State
Member since Aug 2004
15945 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:02 am to
quote:


No, the dog pissed on Band-Aids in a bucket filled with jam and left outside for a year.



I forgot the band-aids
Posted by BMoney
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2005
16272 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:03 am to
quote:

one of the tasting notes on my homebrew in the GR competition was "band aids"


That's what I get from most Brett beers. Or at least the ones that are 100% Brett fermented. It's not particularly enjoyable.
Posted by LoneStarTiger
Lone Star State
Member since Aug 2004
15945 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:04 am to
You should name that beer Band-aids and Asphault.

Maybe I should start entering beers into competitions so I can get some interesting names too
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 10:42 am
Posted by ragincajun03
Member since Nov 2007
21250 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:14 am to
quote:

111.7% alcohol by volume, has a finishing gravity of 1.108, and is 1,467IBUs.


Yes...go on...
Posted by DonChowder
Sonoma County
Member since Dec 2012
9249 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:47 am to
quote:

AllzUrWhalezBro’s eloquent and nuanced takedown of our brewery
Eloquent indeed.

I love JK's beers and I love their response.
Posted by timbo
Red Stick, La.
Member since Dec 2011
7318 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 10:56 am to
That's pretty bad arse. I visited Jester King a while back. They've got a real interesting philosophy about beer.
Posted by GrammarKnotsi
Member since Feb 2013
9346 posts
Posted on 4/1/15 at 11:01 am to
Dear three of you above this post...

I have recently been elected king of Mugato and in doing so have come into some money..I would very much like to share it with you, if you would send me your bank info

R/
King Whalez
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