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Posted on 3/31/15 at 12:43 am to lsunurse
My parents understand and don't give my wife and I grief over our shift work, but her parents (especially her mom) can get pretty passive aggressive over it.
Probably has something to do with both of my parents being military vets. The part that irks me is that her 'rents give her guff for not being able to visit, when they're the ones who are traveling the country in their RV camping but seemingly never have the time to come up by Kansas City (but they'll drop everything and leave in a minute to see her brother who's stationed on the east coast)
Probably has something to do with both of my parents being military vets. The part that irks me is that her 'rents give her guff for not being able to visit, when they're the ones who are traveling the country in their RV camping but seemingly never have the time to come up by Kansas City (but they'll drop everything and leave in a minute to see her brother who's stationed on the east coast)
Posted on 3/31/15 at 12:48 am to TbirdSpur2010
Yeah we can never get his parents to come on our side of town to visit...and it's only like 45 minutes away. We always have to travel to them. And when we've suggested stopping by on a regular weekend to visit...they all of a sudden get moody about it and have other plans. Even though they are retired and have much more free time than we do.
I can remember when we first moved to Scottsdale and his mom whining about how far away we would be to them. I had to bite my tongue and not say "umm, hello, my parents are 1400 miles away...I'm sure they would be plenty glad to only be 45 minutes away from me and not whine about it"
I can remember when we first moved to Scottsdale and his mom whining about how far away we would be to them. I had to bite my tongue and not say "umm, hello, my parents are 1400 miles away...I'm sure they would be plenty glad to only be 45 minutes away from me and not whine about it"
Posted on 3/31/15 at 1:03 am to Who Me
I work away now, and yes it does get old missing everything. For me I don't really care about the holiday itself, but I hate that my wife has to celebrate the day without me. So far this year I've missed New Years, Mardi Gras, and will miss Good Friday and Easter this week. We have a baby on the way though, so it'll get tougher.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 1:08 am to lsunurse
Exactly. I don't get it at all with her folks.
At least neither set of parents has started getting on our case for not having kids yet.
At least neither set of parents has started getting on our case for not having kids yet.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 1:09 am to lsunurse
My old man works every holiday possible. I understand it some may not.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 1:19 am to PLaneTiger
I bet he makes good money to work them. Sadly...we don't even get extra monetary compensation for working the holidays. Used to, but budget cuts took that perk away with a quickness.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 1:45 am to lsunurse
Family members are usually the most selfish people you'll ever meet.
I say do what you gotta do for you and yours.
I say do what you gotta do for you and yours.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 1:52 am to lsunurse
So Easter Sunday morning you wouldn't want to accommodate them by having B pick you up at work, drive straight to the inlaws, spend 3 hours for brunch then head home, get 5 hours of sleep and let B bring you back to work?
That's what I'd do for Easter then crash all day Monday.
ETA: I had a three year stretch of shift work and chopped up work/family life. I hated it but doing stuff like above was typical.
At that point, we started hosting things to avoid the commute time.
ETA2: Anyway Nursie, that's my midnite snack thoughts & back to bed.
Good Luck!
That's what I'd do for Easter then crash all day Monday.
ETA: I had a three year stretch of shift work and chopped up work/family life. I hated it but doing stuff like above was typical.
At that point, we started hosting things to avoid the commute time.
ETA2: Anyway Nursie, that's my midnite snack thoughts & back to bed.
Good Luck!
This post was edited on 3/31/15 at 1:59 am
Posted on 3/31/15 at 4:32 am to lsunurse
quote:
It's mainly this pressure I feel from his parents(mainly his mom)to attend in some way around my schedule. I hate making everyone else fit it around my schedule. Just do it when it's best for most of the family...if I can go great, if not...it's really not a big deal. I've worked the night before a holiday and gotten no sleep the next day so that I could attend and I'm asked all day why I'm so quiet or if something is wrong.
It sounds as though you just have to have a sit down talk with your MIL and explain yourself. In my family, three of us worked shift hours. Of course never the same. We worked around it as best as we could. And yes, it sucked some times.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 4:38 am to lsunurse
I work shift work and if/when anyone complains when I have to miss something I simply tell them if they want to start paying me the same salary I'd make then I'll gladly skip work.
Doesn't bother me at all to have to miss things, it happens. I'm working to provide for my family and pay bills. I'm happier knowing that I am doing what I have to do to raise my son correctly and provide for him to have a good life and if someone doesn't understand that I don't really care.
Doesn't bother me at all to have to miss things, it happens. I'm working to provide for my family and pay bills. I'm happier knowing that I am doing what I have to do to raise my son correctly and provide for him to have a good life and if someone doesn't understand that I don't really care.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 4:52 am to lsunurse
Divorce is the clear answer here, nurse
Just kidding
Kinda :coco2:
Just kidding
Kinda :coco2:
Posted on 3/31/15 at 5:26 am to ForkEmDemons
quote:
Doesn't bother me at all to have to miss things, it happens. I'm working to provide for my family and pay bills. I'm happier knowing that I am doing what I have to do to raise my son correctly and provide for him to have a good life and if someone doesn't understand that I don't really care.
Pretty much says it all.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 5:36 am to lsunurse
Just tell your MIL to pay you your salary so you quit your job and make all family functions. Plus you can make her some grandchildren with your new free time.
I told my MIL that when I worked shift work. She was not excited about my comment, but she got the picture.
I told my MIL that when I worked shift work. She was not excited about my comment, but she got the picture.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 5:41 am to lsunurse
quote:
When I relayed that info to her instead of her replying that she was sorry to hear that I coudln't come she was asking "so what time would you be able to come over"
She seems like the type who has never had to work.
My mother and law used to complain that I didn't treat her like family...so I did. She veey quickly understood I was actually trying to be polite.
If your husband won't stand up for you, I would ask him wtf more than her.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 7:06 am to lsunurse
Non-shift work people just don't understand. I used to work nights during college summers, and my parents would leave me chores to do during the day because "it wasn't natural to sleep all day".
Posted on 3/31/15 at 7:08 am to lsunurse
I got even just as an ER tech. I can't imagine the guilt trip I'll get when I actually finish school.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 7:17 am to lsunurse
It wouldn't be that bad, except it seems like I'm scheduled every holiday, every year. This year, I'm off for Halloween. Well whoopty-mother fricking-do.
Posted on 3/31/15 at 7:20 am to lsunurse
I'm not sure if it is this way at your hospital, but for us we got to pick two holidays out of the four to work. I always wanted off Christmas and Thanksgiving. I always worked Mardi Gras and Easter. I could always fit a trip to church in somewhere too. And plus Mardi Gras brought in all the crazy psych patients and you know how much I loved those 
Posted on 3/31/15 at 7:23 am to lsunurse
No. My family isn't selfish. They know that it comes with the job that I do. I have to work this weekend. Good Friday and Easter. Nights.
My family will be boiling crawfish Sunday. I'll go, spend a little time there, say my hellos and then head off to work. Not one person (except my little girl, she hates when I work nights) will say one word about me having to leave. Actually, they'll thank me for co m ing considering they know my schedule.
The only holiday that I don't want to miss will be Christmas. But again, my family understands how my schedule works and will go out of their way to accommodate what we need as far as scheduling.
My family will be boiling crawfish Sunday. I'll go, spend a little time there, say my hellos and then head off to work. Not one person (except my little girl, she hates when I work nights) will say one word about me having to leave. Actually, they'll thank me for co m ing considering they know my schedule.
The only holiday that I don't want to miss will be Christmas. But again, my family understands how my schedule works and will go out of their way to accommodate what we need as far as scheduling.
This post was edited on 3/31/15 at 7:41 am
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