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WWTOTD: Living Near Family. Good or Overrated?

Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:45 pm
Posted by jerseyfla
Hudson, FL
Member since Mar 2012
543 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:45 pm
I'm looking at where I want to retire when I retire from the Air Force in 5 years.

I'm factoring in a bunch of things like what states do/don't tax my pension income, weather, and being close to family. I'm married with 4 kids. Our families live near Tampa (me) and NJ near Philly (wife) I want to settle down in the Northern Atlanta suburbs since the weather is cooler than Florida and warmer than NJ, I can get more house for the money, cheaper cost of living, and just as many attractions/things to do around there. The problem is the wife wants me to retire near family, most preferably in PA or Delaware since it's cheaper than NJ property tax wise, she has more family members around NJ versus my parents and sister near Tampa, and she is close to all of her family. But we haven't lived near either family in 11 years and I think we've done okay and there's always a every 2 year visit to both families.
This post was edited on 2/21/15 at 6:51 pm
Posted by BeerMoney
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2012
8376 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:48 pm to
You're gonna end up doing what your wife wants. Just accept it and find the best way to make it work.
Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:54 pm to
It's simply a matter of figuring out which relatives have the largest inheritance to leave, how much they favor your family and how soon they are likely to die. Once you've figured out those factors, simply move close to the most appealing option and spend as much "quality" time with them as possible. Be smart, bet on the right horse a and things should work out fine for you and your family.
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:55 pm to
Maryland
Posted by Geauxtiga
No man's land
Member since Jan 2008
34377 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:56 pm to
quote:

You're gonna end up doing what your wife wants.
Or be miserable.

Cannot even understand someone asking the OT something like this.


EDIT: Just noticed you can't even pick a user without her. Jeez, you're one hen-pecked mo fo.
This post was edited on 2/21/15 at 6:59 pm
Posted by Spankum
Miss-sippi
Member since Jan 2007
56042 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 6:59 pm to
something to consider is whether you will need to take care of elderly parents (either yours or hers), as that can be tough if you don't live nearby...

otherwise, if she wants to live near her family, there is not much of a chance that you are going to live anywhere else...

fwiw, another place that is appealing is tennessee...and that one seems to be about midway between your families...
Posted by Geauxtiga
No man's land
Member since Jan 2008
34377 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:01 pm to
quote:

something to consider is whether you will need to take care of elderly parents (either yours or hers), as that can be tough if you don't live nearby.
He's okay with visiting every 2 years. Tells me he's not THAT concerned about family (outside wife and kids).
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98190 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:02 pm to
I lived near my grandparents when I was growing up and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I saw them nearly every day, and thsoe are still some of my favorite memories. I live near my parents now. It really helps give you peace of mind in the event of health problems. You can't help them much from half a continent away.

OTOH, there are families where it would be a nightmare. It's dependent on the individual situation.
Posted by Geauxtiga
No man's land
Member since Jan 2008
34377 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:04 pm to
quote:

I lived near my grandparents when I was growing up and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I saw them nearly every day, and thsoe are still some of my favorite memories. I live near my parents now. It really helps give you peace of mind in the event of health problems.
Same here. In fact after my post I was questioning myself as to whether I may just be too back-country and being too harsh on him. I thought most people would live at least in the same state as their parents.
This post was edited on 2/21/15 at 7:06 pm
Posted by Kafka
I am the moral conscience of TD
Member since Jul 2007
142023 posts
Posted on 2/21/15 at 7:07 pm to
quote:

Good or Overrated?
Overrated? Why must it be overrated? Can't it just be bad?

What is the deal with overrated? "The Beatles are overrated", "Is Peyton Manning overrated?", "Austin is incredibly overrated"... Who is this Rating Authority doing all this overtime?
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