re: Spin Off: Would you adopt a special needs kid?

Its different state to state but generally, yes. In all cases you get the SS check. And for example in California all medical is paid by the state.

ETA: I'm not the expert, just relaying the message.

quote:

---

I just keep coming back to maybe I'm meant to take in a child that nobody else wants, one that would have extraordinary needs for care and parenting. I have no interest in getting a trendy third world kid and one upping the celebs by getting one with muscular dis-trophy or something like that. It just seems like a kid that was dealt the worst hand possible would be the right fit.

---

Not trying to be a dick but it's probably best you forgo being a parent. You come across as a pompous prick.

My SO and I considered it. Because we have a special needs children and know how to love one and care for them. But, not sure it would be fair. But, it's a possibility down the line.

However, you said you're selfish and greedy. You can't be with a special needs kid. Pretty much ever. I'd think long and hard about that before I went through with it.

Trust me, I know.

Great advice.

nah what happens if you get hit by a bus and you die what happens to the kid? if i am your sibling do i have to assume your responsibility?
Nah not for me ward of the state.

Not a fricking chance in hell

like other posters have said, if a normal child is too much for you, a SN would be terrible.

ETA:

IF you are really interested in helping a SN child, check into inner city black children (healthy children). My wife and I were involved in a program at our local church that would drive to the city, pick these kids up, and work with them. We mainly just talked, and interacted with them. I was a male figure that they didn't have. What their mothers would do to them to secure a check from the gov was terrible. Most of them have no chance.

As an adoptive parent, I can tell you it's a wonderful experience. I can also tell you it's HARD work and mine isn't SN. Physical SN is challenging enough. Emotional SN can be an energy, money & soul sucking project. The people who take in these kids and help them transform their loves are amazing individuals. I would never talk someone out of adopting bc so many need homes. But everyone considering adoption should know exactly what they're committing to before they get the child involved. These kids have had too many people quit on them already.

Whomever suggested Big Brothers org is spot on. Try that for a year or two to see if this is what you want to do with your life.

A single friend who is well off (and in her fifties at the time) decided she wanted to foster high school aged girls, prepare them for college, and then pay all of their college expenses. Like God, Social Services laughs at your dreams.

It took several years of bureaucracy and training before she was finally eligible to be a foster mother, and the first child they asked her to foster was a special needs infant (remember, she wanted high school aged girls).

Before she knew it, there was a second young girl they wanted her to foster and then a third special needs infant.

She never got what she wanted, but instead, has a beautiful, healthy family. The first baby had been left in a car seat for most of her babyhood while the mother did crack. She was behind developmentally, and her head and neck were out of line from staying in the same position. It is amazing what medical care and the love of a new mother can do! She is beautiful and healthy and very smart and is about 10 now (adopted by my friend). Second foster daughter is also thriving and healthy and is in high school now. Third foster daughter had neurological problems and was adopted by my friend's sister! She, too, was able to overcome the dire predictions for her future, and with great medical care and a loving home, is also thriving and doing well.

The family has money and is eccentric and unique, so I know not every story has such a good ending.

I know. tl;dr