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Message
Things my mother taught me
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:47 am
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:47 am
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
21
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:48 am to BestBanker
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:48 am to BestBanker
Pretty much sums it up 
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:53 am to BestBanker
You sure we not brothers. I see alot of things my mom said in there also. Lol
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:57 am to FLBooGoTigs1
Mom is great! I love momma!
Posted on 5/11/14 at 9:58 am to BestBanker
BTW, my kid just turned 6 months so I'm sure this will come to fruition before too long...
quote:
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:02 am to BestBanker
My mom taught me how to make best tomatoe gravy known to man.
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:08 am to BestBanker
My mother taught me to not waste my time reading a post that long.
This post was edited on 5/11/14 at 10:09 am
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:16 am to BestBanker
My mom is the best friend I've ever had and still is. It has been borderline creepy at times from her buying me condoms as an early teen to me telling her every detail of every little thing that I do (sexual, illegal, whatever), ( and you guys know I've lived some unusually crazy shite) and she has been on my side and down to ride NO MATTER WHAT, almost to a fault, but she really is the best friend I've ever had. Some would have called her almost an "enabler" at times when I ran into some rough patches but man it was always nice to have a best friend.
There was one point in my. Life where I fell so hard that I was homeless, my dad really wouldn't even let me at his house, my mom fought tooth and nail to help me but I decided to distance myself for the sake of their marriage bc I loved both of them so much. I had to ignore my best friend (my mom) for a period and it killed me. During that time I tried to do a little couch surfing but was so bad off I burned bridges so I was occasionally sleeping under bridges, the mission, wherever I could lay my head and get a hot meal. Hardest time in my life, but come to find out my mom spent every day trying to find and contact me bc she loved me and wanted her best friend back, but I was too ashamed and too out there to let her see my position and break her heart. I have had very good friends over the years and still do but NOBODY will ever compare to my mom. I have two brothers that are very close in age and we are best friends but no where on the level of me and mom.
And now she is in her mid fifties where she lost her mom, grand mother and great grandmother before 60 and all had major heart by passes in their fifties. My mom is the only one of her family that has ever smoked and is not near as active and healthy as her family. I just buried her little brother(one of my other closest friends) 3 weeks ago at the age of 49 and her other little brother died of a heart attack at 44, so heart disease is prevalent in her family. I beg her to stop smoking and get healthy, she is probably 5'6. 120 if I was to guess but isn't active. I don't know if I'll ever be able to cope if I lose her, my eyes glaze over thinking of it because odds are the clock is ticking closer with family history..... I'm sorry for this long rambling diatribe, but I just can't express the love I have for my best friend.
For you "to long didn't read" crowd: I've been through some shite in my life as many of you know/has been documented here and I've had a best friend every step of the way and it's my mother, and I'm scared her health is dwindling and it scares me more than I've ever been scared in my life, including being shot at, robbed, stabbed, running a truck off lake ponch bridge, my mom is my world and I love her so much.
There was one point in my. Life where I fell so hard that I was homeless, my dad really wouldn't even let me at his house, my mom fought tooth and nail to help me but I decided to distance myself for the sake of their marriage bc I loved both of them so much. I had to ignore my best friend (my mom) for a period and it killed me. During that time I tried to do a little couch surfing but was so bad off I burned bridges so I was occasionally sleeping under bridges, the mission, wherever I could lay my head and get a hot meal. Hardest time in my life, but come to find out my mom spent every day trying to find and contact me bc she loved me and wanted her best friend back, but I was too ashamed and too out there to let her see my position and break her heart. I have had very good friends over the years and still do but NOBODY will ever compare to my mom. I have two brothers that are very close in age and we are best friends but no where on the level of me and mom.
And now she is in her mid fifties where she lost her mom, grand mother and great grandmother before 60 and all had major heart by passes in their fifties. My mom is the only one of her family that has ever smoked and is not near as active and healthy as her family. I just buried her little brother(one of my other closest friends) 3 weeks ago at the age of 49 and her other little brother died of a heart attack at 44, so heart disease is prevalent in her family. I beg her to stop smoking and get healthy, she is probably 5'6. 120 if I was to guess but isn't active. I don't know if I'll ever be able to cope if I lose her, my eyes glaze over thinking of it because odds are the clock is ticking closer with family history..... I'm sorry for this long rambling diatribe, but I just can't express the love I have for my best friend.
For you "to long didn't read" crowd: I've been through some shite in my life as many of you know/has been documented here and I've had a best friend every step of the way and it's my mother, and I'm scared her health is dwindling and it scares me more than I've ever been scared in my life, including being shot at, robbed, stabbed, running a truck off lake ponch bridge, my mom is my world and I love her so much.
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:25 am to SuperSaint
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:26 am to BestBanker
quote:
Things my mother taught me
That the people who do the most damage to you in your life are usually unaware that they are even doing it. They just don't know any better, and that even the most awful people can change and mellow out with age, and that after all these many years, I'm glad to finally have a friend in my mom rather than my worst enemy, even if she still barely knows me. It's not a great relationship, but it's still worth while to reconcile with even the worst monsters from your past.
quote:
SuperSaint
You always seem like such a good dude.
This post was edited on 5/11/14 at 10:29 am
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:29 am to BestBanker
I'm 52 now, my mother has been dead since 1987, but as I get older I realize that the moral values she instilled in me have never left, and some that I had forgotten have surfaced lately. Some of them seemed more like a curse than a value, but I see now what she meant.
I am not trying to insult anyone, but I have watched friends, both male and female, go from 1 relationship to another, as if it meant very little to them. Cheating on their spouses, and lying to them (serious lies )
The reason I said I thought some of the values instilled in me were more like curses, was because I wanted to be like my friends, just use women, and move on, Lol, but I was blocked by these damn values, but I see today, it was a good thing.
Miss you, Love you Mom, Happy mothers day !
I am not trying to insult anyone, but I have watched friends, both male and female, go from 1 relationship to another, as if it meant very little to them. Cheating on their spouses, and lying to them (serious lies )
The reason I said I thought some of the values instilled in me were more like curses, was because I wanted to be like my friends, just use women, and move on, Lol, but I was blocked by these damn values, but I see today, it was a good thing.
Miss you, Love you Mom, Happy mothers day !
This post was edited on 5/11/14 at 10:31 am
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:36 am to BestBanker
Absolutely Brilliant Piece!
Is this Original?
Is this Original?
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:36 am to SuperSaint
quote:
SuperSaint
That was one of the most heartfelt posts I have ever read on this board and it brought me to tears. I hope that your best friend is around for you for many more years.
I spoke with my Mom today and thanked her for all that she and my late Dad did for me.
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:39 am to Doc Fenton
people who do the most damage to you in your life are usually unaware that they are even doing it. They just don't know any better, and that even the most awful people can change and mellow out with age,
This is great stuff, Jesus said " father forgive them, for they know not what they do " Pretty much what is being said here. Even the most awful people can change, and mellow out with age, is also a great statement about humanity, in fact I would say they were never awful, only misguided by a twisted perception of life. I believe we are all the same to the core of our being, but some of us have been disconnected from reality, and driven by ego for a long time, but innocent in Spirit
This is great stuff, Jesus said " father forgive them, for they know not what they do " Pretty much what is being said here. Even the most awful people can change, and mellow out with age, is also a great statement about humanity, in fact I would say they were never awful, only misguided by a twisted perception of life. I believe we are all the same to the core of our being, but some of us have been disconnected from reality, and driven by ego for a long time, but innocent in Spirit
This post was edited on 5/11/14 at 10:40 am
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:51 am to Blind Boy Grunt
It is pretty great huh? Not my creation. I was directed to it by a great friend.
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:53 am to BestBanker
Awesome
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:54 am to BestBanker
1. ...I got nothing.
Posted on 5/11/14 at 10:57 am to BestBanker
95% of those are spot on
Posted on 5/11/14 at 11:01 am to BestBanker
Sounds about right except #16 read a little more like this for me
Regardless, they're all true
quote:
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until your dad gets home."
Regardless, they're all true
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