Closer Carnage

So this year has been f'n ridiculous for closer situations and injuries. Here is the list of projected/likely starters from Spring training and that have bitten the dust. Feel free to air your frustrations below

Orioles- Jim Johnson has been steady except for his mystery illness.
Yanks- Mr. Closer himself eats shite while shagging balls
Red Sox- Andrew Bailey. Thumb. Done
Rays- Farnsworth. The old elbow strain. Then Rodney comes in and has been the best closer in baseball. WTF.
Jays- Santos Should inflammation. Coco has been doing his best to lose the job
Cleveland- Chris Perez is doing his best Kevin Gregg impression
Tigers Valverde, welcome back to reality nice 1.9 WHIP
White Sox- they go through closers like deli's go through customers. NEXT.
Royals- Broxton holding down the fort mostly due to hollands injury, this is a ticking timebomb
Twins- Capps 5 saves and a 4 ERA.
Rangers- Nathan holding spot till hamilton starts closing, he'll probably start wearing a cape
Oakland- Balfour's getting rocked more than a hootie CD in 1995
Seattle- League. Good job. I'll blame it on Safeco for now
Angels- Latroy Hawkins is getting save opps. Let that marinate for a second. Latroy Hawkins.

Nats- Soren got bones growing in his joints and shite
Braves- Kimbrel's been solid enough. His ERA is under 4 and his arm is still functioning, about all you can ask for nowadays
Mets- Frank's got his ERA lower than his save total now, so you have that going for you
Miami- frick Heath Bell. Seriously. His WHIP's higher than my college GPA.
Phillies- Papplebon's been fantastic, shite the bed last outing but he's still about 5 of those behind Bell
Cards- frick the cardinals
Cincy- We just payed Madson 6 mil to play call of duty all summer, fricking fantastic
Pitt- Hanrahan with the program 4+ ERA and 5 saves
Brewers- Axford was getting knocked around more than that one time my Aunt forgot to DVR Monday night raw, but he's righting the ship
Houston- Myers has been fantastic, too bad his team is shitty and he'll be traded to a team as a setup man in a month
Cubs- MarmLOL
Dodgers- Javy's first 6 app. came against SD and Pitt, guess what happened next.
Giants- Wilson elbow's fricked, i think we all saw this coming. Well except for da kid. Casilla's been money
D-backs: Apparently Kevin Gregg was just doing his best Putz impression
Rockies-Betancourt has been pretty steady
SD- Street is on the DL, what else do you expect from a longhorn.