Thank you, TOTH.
I do agree with Cold Pizza that a .45 is different and recoil felt is different. Yeah, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so it seems like a 230gr bullet would push harder than a 180gr bullet.
But these are the other things to take into account as Tiger pointed out. The recoil spring will be heavier in the .45, so slide speed will be less. So, this leads to the muzzle "flip" many experience with certain .40s, because they have a recoil spring similar to a 9mm, but are slinging out a larger piece of lead at a higher velocity.
And yes, Tiger is also right that .40 S&W is higher pressure. 45 is very low pressure, as it was invented in the early 1900s. It's just always had this characteristic. It also has the recoil "push" versus "flip" feel compared to .40.