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Started By
Message
WTF stories between you and your friends... lets hear them
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:24 pm
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:24 pm
I was sitting here and just thought about one of the biggest WTF moments with a friend of mine. So here it is.... and i swear on my life this is a true story.
Me and "ill call him by his nickname" Abe were installing a cd player in my car in the summer of circa 2001. It was hot as hell, we were under the caroport trying to stay cool and rushing to finish this so we could hit the party that night. Well as we finish, and get everything picked up he starts to head out and gives me the "dude i need to tell you something" line. I was like oh shite what has he done.... so he begins to make me promise i wouldnt tell anyone, because he hadnt told a soul so i knew it was going to be something serious. Thoughts were racing through my mind as to what it might could be, but literally nothing could have prepared me for what he was about to say. He says "man you know that girl amber ive been hooking up with" i was like yeah... "well the other night she was at my place and i was hitting it doggystyle. We was going at it a for a little biy and i was looking down at that arse in the air when i thought i saw something in her a-hole. At first i thought it was a piece of toilet paper but it moved. I looked closer and it was a worm! A little white worm squirming around" At this point i was all
and didnt know what to say. All i could do was ask did you finish? He said "hell yeah i did but i hadnt talked to her since, have you ever heard of or seen that happen"? I told him hell naw!! And asked how the hell did he finish and not puke on her back or worry about that worm falling out on his dick. He just said he rushed and finished and made some excuse for her to leave and to this day never talked to her again.
So thats my biggest WTF moment with my friends. The story eventually got out to other friends of ours and its a big joke from time to time at bonfires or river hangouts. He just hangs his head in shame.
Me and "ill call him by his nickname" Abe were installing a cd player in my car in the summer of circa 2001. It was hot as hell, we were under the caroport trying to stay cool and rushing to finish this so we could hit the party that night. Well as we finish, and get everything picked up he starts to head out and gives me the "dude i need to tell you something" line. I was like oh shite what has he done.... so he begins to make me promise i wouldnt tell anyone, because he hadnt told a soul so i knew it was going to be something serious. Thoughts were racing through my mind as to what it might could be, but literally nothing could have prepared me for what he was about to say. He says "man you know that girl amber ive been hooking up with" i was like yeah... "well the other night she was at my place and i was hitting it doggystyle. We was going at it a for a little biy and i was looking down at that arse in the air when i thought i saw something in her a-hole. At first i thought it was a piece of toilet paper but it moved. I looked closer and it was a worm! A little white worm squirming around" At this point i was all
and didnt know what to say. All i could do was ask did you finish? He said "hell yeah i did but i hadnt talked to her since, have you ever heard of or seen that happen"? I told him hell naw!! And asked how the hell did he finish and not puke on her back or worry about that worm falling out on his dick. He just said he rushed and finished and made some excuse for her to leave and to this day never talked to her again. So thats my biggest WTF moment with my friends. The story eventually got out to other friends of ours and its a big joke from time to time at bonfires or river hangouts. He just hangs his head in shame.
21
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:25 pm to oleyeller
*insert poster's friends lamp story*
quote:
yankeeundercover
Ok.. I thought I'd posted this story before... I know I've alluded to it to a couple posters before, but I couldn't find it... This is 100% true and it happened to two buddies and me in mid-2003 in Rochester, NY. (All the names are changed, but stay with me)
We'll call him, "Dave"... Dave calls and says that he wants to meet up with "Jeff" and me to go out one night. We pregame a bit and head to downtown Rochester, NY and end up meeting two chicks... one of which is really into my buddy Jeff. We close down the bar and Dave, Jeff, the two girls and me I go to a late night diner. This chick is all over Jeff and he excuses himself to make a phone call... He comes back and whispers, "I just called 'Matt'... he said I can use his place, I'm gonna bounce" (Matt was a friend who had an apartment down the street from the diner and was out of town this weekend)
I laugh and say, "Alright man, I'm gonna finish these hashbrowns" So Jeff and the chick leave and it's just me and Dave and the chicks friend who wasn't anything to write home about stayed. We hang out for about 30 more minutes and I get a phone call...
"I... I think I killed her"
"You what?!" (I get up to take the call, it was Jeff)
"She told me to hit her with the lamp and... I did"
"Hold on, I'm coming to you, stay there!"
"I'm already halfway back to the diner..."
"Stop where you are.. I'm coming!"
We walk the 10 or so blocks back down to Matt's apartment and Jeff is noticeably shaken. While we were walking, he was filling me in on what happened. Apparently he was tagging her from behind on the bed and she turned over her shoulder and said "Hit me with the lamp!" and without blinking, Jeff blasted her in the head with the lamp on the nightstand. (I know, right?)
We get back and walk upstairs and he flips on the light... No clothes. No girl. Blood all over the sheets... No girl. He starts calling out for her in a shaky voice and realizes he doesn't know her name... "Uhh... girl?" "Hello?" We searched upstairs and out back and there was no one there... Now Jeff is freaking the frick out... We take the sheets and put them in a plastic bag and we go back out to the dumpster and toss them and start back to the diner. Dave is still there alone and said that the other chick left right after I left and caught a cab home. I don't know if we would have told her or not... We finish the night and all go our separate ways.
(Over the next few days, we've clued Dave into what happened) We all check the paper the next few days, police blotter, etc and nothing. We end up meeting for lunch a few days later and we all agree that it was one of the most fricked up things that had ever happened to any of us. When we're sitting at lunch, in between bites of french fries, Dave blurts out, "Are you sure she didn't say, 'Pump me like a champ'..?"
This post was edited on 2/25/15 at 4:26 pm
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:26 pm to oleyeller
This post has been marked unreadable!
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:27 pm to oleyeller
well at least he wasn't tossing that salad.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:28 pm to oleyeller
More WTF was your friend fricking a pistachio
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:31 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
not sure why... but your story is a little...well gay?
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:31 pm to oleyeller
just an innocent pinworm bro
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:36 pm to oleyeller
Cue the Will Ferell "I don't believe you" gif
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:42 pm to oleyeller
I got hammered drunk at JLs (a tigerland bar) one night about 4 years ago. I decided not to drive home and just sleep it off a little in my car behind the bar. It was freezing arse cold and I just passed out with the car running. I woke up at like 4-5am and there's a random African-American sleeping in my passenger seat. I was very drunk but I knew for a fact I was alone when I had passed out. At first I thought it was a dude and shoved him saying "hey man wake up, I'm leaving" but he wouldn't budge. So I just said frick it, drove to my house, left him in there, and went to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and managed to wake this now I could see chick up. She freaked out not knowing where she was so I explained to her what had happened and she said "oh yeah, I got in a fight with my BF at Reggies and just started walking, my phone was dead, I couldn't find my friend's apartment and it was so cold I just climbed in with you." We laughed but she was really ghetto and it was an awkward drive when I brought her to her moms house in the hood. She said she was a waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings and offered to hook me up with free wings for helping her, I never did tho. Def biggest WTF moment of my life and I've had a lot.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:42 pm to oleyeller
Obligatory:
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:43 pm to NatalbanyTigerFan
quote:
Cue the Will Ferell "I don't believe you" gif
if its a lie my friend told it... but seriously, who would want to make up that story about theirself?
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:45 pm to oleyeller
That really did make me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:49 pm to oleyeller
quote:
theirself
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:50 pm to oleyeller
quote:
At first i thought it was a piece of toilet paper but it moved. I looked closer and it was a worm! A little white worm squirming around
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:50 pm to CocomoLSU
quote:
quote:
theirself
didnt know i was being graded on grammar :(
Posted on 2/25/15 at 3:59 pm to oleyeller
quote:
didnt know i was being graded on grammar :(
I didn't know I was supposed to grade it.
D-
Posted on 2/25/15 at 4:00 pm to CocomoLSU
if you wasnt such a sbtb fan i would go off!
Posted on 2/25/15 at 4:10 pm to oleyeller
Damn that's nasty. My cat hat ringworms when I first got it and I almost puked when I saw a work coming out his a**.
I couldn't imagine being able to finish after seeing that coming out a chicks a**.
I couldn't imagine being able to finish after seeing that coming out a chicks a**.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 4:12 pm to Sampson
assuming that's not a weird Sampson fibThis post was edited on 2/25/15 at 4:13 pm
Posted on 2/25/15 at 4:13 pm to oleyeller
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