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Started By
Message
Who here lives alone, and likes it?
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:47 am
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:47 am
Newly separated and on my way to a divorce. After 18 years with my wife, and the last 13 with children (ages 13, 12, and 9). The house was "beautiful chaos".
Been living alone for 6 months now. And I have found that I like it. I thought I would miss the "hum" of my wife and children. But I don't. And I feel sort of guilty about that.
I like my time alone. It allows me to focus and organize myself both physically and emotionally. Then, when I do spend time with other people (friends, family, my kids) I feel that I am more "focused" (I am not sure if that is the right word). But after being alone for a couple of days, I actually enjoy the presence of other people. And I feel like I engage with them in a more meaningful way.
Before, I felt bombarded with humanity all the time. So I found myself constantly looking to disengage.
TLDR: Now that I am alone, I value my time with other people more. I am a better father and friend than I was before.
Who else likes living alone? Does it make you feel a little guilty? Or that you are being judged as an outcast or a selfish?
ETA: My kids stay with me one night per week and every other weekend. Plus I am taking two week long vacations with them this summer. I have less time with them now, but more quality time.
Been living alone for 6 months now. And I have found that I like it. I thought I would miss the "hum" of my wife and children. But I don't. And I feel sort of guilty about that.
I like my time alone. It allows me to focus and organize myself both physically and emotionally. Then, when I do spend time with other people (friends, family, my kids) I feel that I am more "focused" (I am not sure if that is the right word). But after being alone for a couple of days, I actually enjoy the presence of other people. And I feel like I engage with them in a more meaningful way.
Before, I felt bombarded with humanity all the time. So I found myself constantly looking to disengage.
TLDR: Now that I am alone, I value my time with other people more. I am a better father and friend than I was before.
Who else likes living alone? Does it make you feel a little guilty? Or that you are being judged as an outcast or a selfish?
ETA: My kids stay with me one night per week and every other weekend. Plus I am taking two week long vacations with them this summer. I have less time with them now, but more quality time.
This post was edited on 6/28/17 at 10:17 am
60
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:49 am to No Colors
Love it. When I get tired of doing whatever I wanna do everyday, I'll consider marriage.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:49 am to No Colors
I love living alone. I don't plan on ever having a roommate unless I get married.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:51 am to No Colors
quote:
Now that I am alone, I value my time with other people more. I am a better father and friend than I was before.
Yeah... I'm sure your kids LOVE it
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:51 am to No Colors
it's nice to have your own spot, but it's also nice to be able to roll over and sex
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:52 am to No Colors
quote:
I am a better father
Keep telling yourself that.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:54 am to No Colors
I enjoy having the house to myself for a weekend or so. After that, I get fairly lonely.
ETA: I loved living along for a couple of years after college.
ETA: I loved living along for a couple of years after college.
This post was edited on 6/28/17 at 9:55 am
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:54 am to No Colors
quote:
Does it make you feel a little guilty
Not. At. All.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:55 am to No Colors
Pretty much the exact same feelings I have, been divorced for 2 years. Still love my peace and quiet.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:56 am to No Colors
I love it
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:57 am to No Colors
so they dont ever stay with you?
you should have waited for them to graduate.
that seriously sucks for them.
you should have waited for them to graduate.
that seriously sucks for them.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:57 am to No Colors
I love living with my girlfriend, but goddamn I miss living alone. It's awesome to live alone.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:57 am to No Colors
Not trying to get into details of your life, but 18 years is a good stretch. Did it happen quickly or has the separation been building up for a while? I only ask bc it's hard to imagine after so long what could happen (besides cheating) that could cause a separation? I guess you can just get tired of someone. And before someone says you need to be married to understand I've been married for 6 six years but with my wife for 12 years
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:04 am to GeauxGoose
quote:
It's hard to imagine after so long what could happen
You are clearly not yet in your 40s.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:05 am to GeauxGoose
I don't live alone but would have enjoyed it if that's where life had taken me. I love my wife and kids and definitely understand the enjoyable "hum" of a full house.
But I'm also an introvert. I was an only child and really enjoy planning my day around my wants and personal responsibilities. I mean, just this morning it took 40 minutes to get through my 15 minute routine. My son woke up early and "got in the way" of taking care of the dog, getting coffee and lunch put together. He also is going through a phase where he doesn't want to go to the bathroom when he wakes up but wants to get his outfit on and then eat breakfast. So I had to convince him to go or else he'd piss his pants. He finally went to the bathroom and pissed all over the seat. So I had to clean it all up. Then he wanted cheerios for breakfast but we didn't have any so he got upset. Then my wife got up and couldn't find some piece of mail she needed to write a check for.
If I lived alone, I could wake up, make coffee, and read a book outside while waking up. Instead....
But I feel like I would get really lonely eventually. I also think way too much and would end up getting depressed.
But I'm also an introvert. I was an only child and really enjoy planning my day around my wants and personal responsibilities. I mean, just this morning it took 40 minutes to get through my 15 minute routine. My son woke up early and "got in the way" of taking care of the dog, getting coffee and lunch put together. He also is going through a phase where he doesn't want to go to the bathroom when he wakes up but wants to get his outfit on and then eat breakfast. So I had to convince him to go or else he'd piss his pants. He finally went to the bathroom and pissed all over the seat. So I had to clean it all up. Then he wanted cheerios for breakfast but we didn't have any so he got upset. Then my wife got up and couldn't find some piece of mail she needed to write a check for.
If I lived alone, I could wake up, make coffee, and read a book outside while waking up. Instead....
But I feel like I would get really lonely eventually. I also think way too much and would end up getting depressed.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:06 am to GeauxGoose
Everyone changes. Some more than others. How many people do you know are the same people at 45 as they were at 25? Some couples change in the same direction and other change in opposite ways.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:07 am to No Colors
Hell ya. Nothing like watching tv on the couch in boxers
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:12 am to No Colors
I live alone and wouldn't trade it for anything.
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