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re: What Is It Like Being a Parent?
Posted on 2/11/19 at 12:41 pm to Loaner1231
Posted on 2/11/19 at 12:41 pm to Loaner1231
quote:
Since they've been born I've never been one to look forward to any milestone they may reach. All this "I can't wait until they..." is crap to me. Enjoy each and every moment as it is happening. Enjoy each moment as they come, you'll never get it back.
Mine are now 16 and 11...best advice I can give in this regard is take TONS pf photos. Not just the staged "Hey smile!" type stuff, but just photos of them hanging around. Imagine being able to look back through your own eyes years later remembering average days of them just being near you at whatever age they were. THOSE kinds of photos. They're priceless.
Same goes for video or audio. Set up cameras or something every once in a while just to capture a dinner or playing board games. Truth is, you almost certainly won;t look at them in a year or two. but 10? You bet your arse you'll be missing them at those ages and giving your future self these types of memory time capsules is a real treat.
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Posted on 2/11/19 at 12:44 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:It was almost kinda opposite for me. I didn't know shite about kids. My sister had 2 kids before me, and I can recall going to her house and when they were super young, I was even too nervous to hold them. I'd actually sit on the couch and let my sister give me the kid because I was too scared to make the transfer standing up, I was that level of having no clue what to do with a kid lol.
Truth is, you're not ready for it at all. You've been taking about being parents for 9+ months, and you've been at the hospital for a day or two largely supervised by staff...but the minute they help you load the kid into the car seat and they close that back door and turn around...you're NOW A PARENT! Up to that point in my life, that was the scariest thing I'd ever felt...
But when I had my kids(twins) it was like I just magically knew some things and was no longer scared at all of those types of things. You just kinda do it.
1 thing I did miss that was a total bummer was getting to leave the hospital with them and drive them home. I was working nights at the time and worked the night before. At that time my phone was on its last legs and every so often it would just shut itself off entirely. I get home from work and fall asleep at 8am. And sure enough, my phone crapped out on me and at 11am my wife is texting and calling because today was the day they'd come home. For reference, they were in the NICU for 9 days so we were taking it day to day and didn't know exactly when they'd go home. My wife had her parents there with her, and obviously they couldn't wait on me, so they came home with the boys, and I missed that whole leaving the hospital/1st drive home thing.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 12:46 pm to SaintlyTiger88
My first child is so calm and careful. He thinks about his actions and learns from it. He was such an easy going baby and he's now 6 years old. He kicks my arse in Super Smash Bros. and will rub it in to the point that you feel disgusted with yourself having a 6 year old destroy you with Jigglypuff. I've never been so mad, yet so proud of something in my life.
My second son is 18 months now. This kid is the complete opposite. Running around with forks in both hands, jumping off the bed with no regard to his life whatsoever. Yesterday, i caught him with scissors poking his leg with it, and I yelled "boy give me those scissors!" He immediately throws them across the room and looks at me like, "WTF you talking about I ain't got no scissors"
Kids man, they will suck the life force out of you, but give you just enough love and enjoyment that you will just fall short of going on the dark web and selling them to the highest bidder.
My second son is 18 months now. This kid is the complete opposite. Running around with forks in both hands, jumping off the bed with no regard to his life whatsoever. Yesterday, i caught him with scissors poking his leg with it, and I yelled "boy give me those scissors!" He immediately throws them across the room and looks at me like, "WTF you talking about I ain't got no scissors"
Kids man, they will suck the life force out of you, but give you just enough love and enjoyment that you will just fall short of going on the dark web and selling them to the highest bidder.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 12:47 pm to shel311
quote:
But when I had my kids(twins) it was like I just magically knew some things and was no longer scared at all of those types of things. You just kinda do it.
Right, I agree with this entirely. If you're not a sociopath, this part feels natural. what I meant was the literal moment when it's no longer just the two of you...but the THREE of you and no one else. Those first few minutes of driving home from the hospital knowing it was real and the safety net was gone was unnerving.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 12:50 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Have a 14 year old boy. He didn't sleep through the night until he was two. It's been one of the most frustrating things I've ever experienced but he's a good kid. There are moments you'll have where you feel like you've done things right and you'll have moments where you wonder where you went wrong. I look forward to spending every moment I can with him because looking back, the years have just peeled off. Enjoy. Every. Moment!!!
Posted on 2/11/19 at 1:04 pm to Tigahs2007
quote:I assume every parent goes through it. But I'm in that moment now where my boys are 7, so they are still very young but they desperately want to be seen as older and not so childish if you will.
Have a 14 year old boy
And I feel like I'm dreading them being older and in that 14 year old range and not looking forward to it, maybe not as much as I should I guess?
I don't know, I guess I just struggle with knowing one day they won't just run up and give you hugs or want to cuddle with you and all that...not that I'd want them to when they're 16, but you get the idea.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 1:05 pm to Tigahs2007
(no message)
This post was edited on 9/24/20 at 7:31 pm
Posted on 2/11/19 at 1:06 pm to SaintlyTiger88
It's the greatest feeling in the world. I remember the first time, looking down at my little guy and thinking this is what heaven must be like.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of getting BJs. Nevermind.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of getting BJs. Nevermind.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 1:29 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
I think the first time I REALLY felt like a Dad was the day we were sent home from the hospital. Truth is, you're not ready for it at all.
That's the truth. We had our first and we live minutes from the hospital. Well the first night we got him home, i was cussing the hospital for giving us a human baby to take care of. I remember telling my wife, "what kind of hospital would give us a baby. We don't know what the hell we are doing".
But you get the hang of it. We have 2 now and want a third. I feel bad for my oldest because he was like the tester baby. We didnt know what we were doing. We sanitized everything he touched or came near. We ran into his room every time he made a noise at night. My 2nd, if he drops a spoon on the floor, i just wipe it off on my shirt and put it back in his mouth. It becomes 2nd nature with 2. And once your kid is potty trained, that's one less thing you have to deal with, and it's awesome. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old now. The 4 year old says so much random stuff. He's a really smart and funny kid. The 1 year old is just a ball of cuteness roaming around. It's like having a little drunk person wander through your home. Burping, farting, laughing at random things. Falling down for no reason. And will throw things at your face then hug on you immediately after. Being a dad is great!
Posted on 2/11/19 at 1:34 pm to BugAC
quote:This is such a huge milestone, especially once they can wipe themselves.
And once your kid is potty trained
It gets exponentially easier from that point as that's one of the final big time milestones that just makes things so much easier IMO. About the only one I can think since potty training to the point that they can do it all themselves is them being old enough to wake up at 7am on the weekends and being old enough for the parents to still sleep in and not worry.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 2:06 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Being a father has become the most rewarding part of life.
The first week felt like I was drunk the whole time waking up every 2 hours and having a wife that had a C-Section.
Then 2 months after that sucks. Never sleep really. My son didn't do much except exist.
After 2 months, he started sleeping through the night and has so ever since. He's a blast (10 mo) and we're loving every minute of him. Only thing we wish is that it would slow down.
I think I love my wife ten-fold more post-baby. Sorry to sound Beta-AF, but watching her be a mother is absolutely beautiful and reinforces why I fell in love with her in the first place.
Overall 10/10, Will do again.
The first week felt like I was drunk the whole time waking up every 2 hours and having a wife that had a C-Section.
Then 2 months after that sucks. Never sleep really. My son didn't do much except exist.
After 2 months, he started sleeping through the night and has so ever since. He's a blast (10 mo) and we're loving every minute of him. Only thing we wish is that it would slow down.
I think I love my wife ten-fold more post-baby. Sorry to sound Beta-AF, but watching her be a mother is absolutely beautiful and reinforces why I fell in love with her in the first place.
Overall 10/10, Will do again.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 2:49 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
What Is It Like Being a Parent?
It's different than you would ever expect. I constantly heard my friends talk about how "they didn't realize how selfish they were before a kid" or "how tired you will be after having a kid" or "get your sleep while you don't have a kid" ... so you think it's going to be massively horrible experience, because that seems to be all anyone ever talks about.
What nobody seems to talk about - is how all of the above situations are things you "CHOOSE" to do, (which is the problem if a parent doesn't figure out to change, and when a-hole parents become a thing...) and you wouldn't trade it for anything. I am way less selfish, but not because I realized I was selfish, but because I wanted my son to have everything which has just made me less selfish, etc.
quote:
I think I love my wife ten-fold more post-baby. Sorry to sound Beta-AF, but watching her be a mother is absolutely beautiful and reinforces why I fell in love with her in the first place.
Same, and if you are a great father... she is feeling the same way, my wife told me this just the other day (we have an 8 month old)
This post was edited on 2/11/19 at 2:53 pm
Posted on 2/11/19 at 2:58 pm to SaintlyTiger88
You remember that epiphany you had when you finally grew up and realized how completely small and meaningless all that high school bullshite was? Remember the sensation "how the f--- was I so blind to ever think something so stupid was so important?"
That's what you'll think about your life now after you have kids.
That's what you'll think about your life now after you have kids.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 3:08 pm to BugAC
quote:
That's the truth. We had our first and we live minutes from the hospital. Well the first night we got him home, i was cussing the hospital for giving us a human baby to take care of. I remember telling my wife, "what kind of hospital would give us a baby. We don't know what the hell we are doing".
But you get the hang of it. We have 2 now and want a third. I feel bad for my oldest because he was like the tester baby. We didnt know what we were doing. We sanitized everything he touched or came near. We ran into his room every time he made a noise at night. My 2nd, if he drops a spoon on the floor, i just wipe it off on my shirt and put it back in his mouth. It becomes 2nd nature with 2. And once your kid is potty trained, that's one less thing you have to deal with, and it's awesome. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old now. The 4 year old says so much random stuff. He's a really smart and funny kid. The 1 year old is just a ball of cuteness roaming around. It's like having a little drunk person wander through your home. Burping, farting, laughing at random things. Falling down for no reason. And will throw things at your face then hug on you immediately after. Being a dad is great!
Change 4 and 1 to 16 and 11 and this rings exactly the same.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 3:09 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Team no kids checking in. It's better over here. Trust me
Posted on 2/11/19 at 3:21 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Its the greatest ever. Not always easy, but I would trade everything in the world for my son, and daughter on the way.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 3:22 pm to Robin Masters
quote:
There is also a level of anxiety which cannot be accurately explained
This is such a true statement.
I pretty much never worried about anything in my life until my son was born.
We put a pulse ox sock on him called an owlet that is designed to monitor his heart rate and oxygen level while he sleeps. The very first night, the alarm goes off that his heart rate is slow and I jumped out of bed in a panic and scooped up my baby to find out that the sock just fell off.
I had anxiety for like a month straight after that. It was a traumatizing event for me
. Since then my anxiety comes and goes but it always involves my child in some way.
Posted on 2/11/19 at 3:27 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I've only been a parent for 4 months but it is simultaneously one of the hardest things I've ever done and yet one of the best, most rewarding things I've ever done. There is no comparison to how much I love my son. I am a huge dog lover but it just doesn't compare. Every time he smiles it's like a shot of adrenaline or a drug. The fuel you need to get through the hard times.
This post was edited on 2/11/19 at 3:28 pm
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