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Message
re: The logic of cheaters
Posted on 8/26/16 at 8:11 am to Steadyhands
Posted on 8/26/16 at 8:11 am to Steadyhands
quote:
Cheating is almost always the result of a failed relationship. So in a sense there is some shared blame
There is no excuse for cheating, so there is no shared blame.
1
Posted on 8/26/16 at 8:16 am to jvilletiger25
quote:
There is no excuse for cheating, so there is no shared blame.
^This
Posted on 8/26/16 at 8:36 am to tzimme4
quote:
Your girl is going to cheat if she wants to cheat. There's no stopping her, but most men don't realize this heading into a relationship.
Yup. It's purely Machiavellian.
What will stop them from cheating, when it boils down to it, is Love or Fear.
Sometimes both. Unfortunately our modern society has undermined both of these, but especially the Fear, by rewarding women that break their vows. They leave and get money and freedom and daddy government steps in to take care of them.
Government has worked actively to deconstruct the family unit with the father as breadwinner and supplant and emasculate males.
Because without a strong father figure people will look elsewhere for something to fill that void.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 8:41 am to fr33manator
quote:
Because without a strong father figure people will look elsewhere for something to fill that void.
Very well said, sir. Sort of how the ex was. The mom was a piece of work...and quite a few of her "boyfriends" had, well, that's a non-spoken family secret...
Posted on 8/26/16 at 12:43 pm to BRL79
Wow, now there's a revelation. 
Actually...it sounds a little racist.
Actually...it sounds a little racist.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:04 pm to Steadyhands
quote:No, that's not how it works. Like you said, the cheater should have talked about the problems instead of cheating. That's why it's inexcusable and why there is NOT shared blame.
Cheating is almost always the result of a failed relationship. So in a sense there is some shared blame
Often, the cheater is unable or unwilling to discuss the problems of the relationship, and they seek out what they feel is missing from their relationship without actually trying to make their relationship work and giving it a fair shot.
The problems in the relationship are the fault of both parties (usually), but cheating is a decision made by ONE person in the relationship, and so it's only their fault.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:13 pm to 911Moto
quote:
There are people who cheat, and people who don't cheat. Not really any room in between imo. She can't resist that BBC though.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:16 pm to PairofDucks
quote:what about the guys that are denied intimacy from their woman for years, due to hormones or straight craziness, and they just cant take it anymore?
People who cheat love to deflect, deny, and deceive.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:19 pm to Hog on the Hill
quote:
No, that's not how it works. Like you said, the cheater should have talked about the problems instead of cheating. That's why it's inexcusable and why there is NOT shared blame.
Like I said the cheater should have talked about the problems instead of cheating. I meant there is shared blame in the relationship failure. I should have worded that better.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 1:58 pm to Spaceman Spiff
USUALLY, the cheater is somehow the "victim", so they cheat for self gratification and then become the victim for justification.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:06 pm to HoustonChick86
My ex wife never did admit shite.
My GF did some Shady shite when we split this summer and owned it like a boss when I busted her. But to be fair I deserved it.
My GF did some Shady shite when we split this summer and owned it like a boss when I busted her. But to be fair I deserved it.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:07 pm to Hog on the Hill
quote:
Often, the cheater is unable or unwilling to discuss the problems of the relationship, and they seek out what they feel is missing from their relationship without actually trying to make their relationship work and giving it a fair shot.
^This. Better yet, they "pretend" to be working on the marriage (maybe even going as far as saying the same to others, counseling, etc) and all the while screwing someone else. But, its never their fault. Never.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:12 pm to Steadyhands
quote:dont go too far out on a limb bro... I think I agree with you. If there is cheating, I think the relationship is failed.
Cheating is almost always the result of a failed relationship
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:14 pm to Spaceman Spiff
Have you ever told anyone they are wrong ever? Of course they deflect.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:17 pm to djangochained
quote:yeah Mr Django, I doubt you tell your wife your sentiment.... And good bet you don't feel the same way if the wife was taking business trips and getting yards of new dick each time.
don't see the problem of getting an escort while traveling out of town for work
I would never get into another 'relationship'. Just sex with strangers
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:19 pm to SuperSaint
quote:
, I doubt you tell your wife your sentiment.... And good bet you don't feel the same way if the wife was taking business trips and getting yards of new dick each time.
I'd be like Facetime me during it and make sure he gets good POV videos.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:28 pm to mikelbr
quote:we usually do. I know I've deserved it.... But on the other hand, I'm NOT a cheater. And all the girls I've dated will tell you when it comes to me loving and giving all my love in one spot, I go all-in (speaking of poke her, hehe)
But to be fair I deserved it.
Females are quick to give out their number or whatever and initiate some type of emotional/brain type cheating and then have it all worked out and justified in their head.
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:32 pm to BRL79
neither sides a winner when it gets to cheating/spying.
if you suspect something is going on either have a real conversation or bail. if you are to the point of spying, you should be gone already - regardless of what you would/would not find.
likewise if you are cheating you should own that you are done with what you have.
when you spy and find something - both sides are so far out the door that you shouldnt have much in the way or expectations for honest and respectful conversation at that point.
if you suspect something is going on either have a real conversation or bail. if you are to the point of spying, you should be gone already - regardless of what you would/would not find.
likewise if you are cheating you should own that you are done with what you have.
when you spy and find something - both sides are so far out the door that you shouldnt have much in the way or expectations for honest and respectful conversation at that point.
This post was edited on 8/26/16 at 2:36 pm
Posted on 8/26/16 at 2:33 pm to SuperSaint
quote:
Females are quick to give out their number or whatever and initiate some type of emotional/brain type cheating and then have it all worked out and justified in their head.
Yep. My ex's affair started out as an emotional affair. I didn't know about it until the guy's wife called me one day and dropped the bomb...along with all the texts, pics, emails. ALL of them. Even the x-rated ones...
Posted on 8/26/16 at 11:47 pm to djangochained
You try WAY too hard...
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