re: Stories about awkard or embarrassing moments with women

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Shortly after driving around, I get back and realize that my roommate's door is open and he is sitting in the dark. He informs me that he has been there for at least an hour and saw the girl and I exit my room.

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I had a roommate (not a bad looking dude either... no homo) that would bang the ugliest bitches. He was a quantity over quality type guy.

He brought one beast home and banged her. I wake up the next morning and the $40 I had next to my wallet is missing. He wakes up not long after and I ask him if he moved it. We come to the conclusion that his skank must have taken my money.

He goes and wakes her up and asks her about it. She starts yelling at him, he yells something about her having back hair...

What I'm trying to say is that your roommate would have much more fun if you just owned your shame.

FTR after the fat, hairy beast stormed out of our apartment my roommate gave me $40 from his wallet and told me that had he known he would be paying for sex he would have at least found something better looking.

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C'mon Chef..

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Oh I could take over this whole thread. just keeping it to one or two that people wont accuse me of trolling over

Otherwise id tell about my last gf and when i was drunk after only dating her for a week and called her her moms name while she was giving me head

Or when I was 18 and thought I had got my cousin pregnant

Or when I ate that chicks pussy through a chain link fence and scraped my face all up

Or two summers ago when I was blackout drunk and fricked some asian tourist chick at a hotel pool on tybee while about a dozen stranger watched. half with their phones out

I could go on. and on..

Probably the best would be when I met a girl out after the LSU game. We both get ripped and are horny as hell and looking for somewhere to get busy. We decide not to drive since both of us can barely stand...she says she has a friend that has an apartment across the street, but she doesn't have a key...but she thinks she can break in. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

So we get to the apartment, and evidently her friend is gone home for the semester, but we've come this far, so nothing is stopping us now...homegirl pulls out her credit card and breaks her way in. We get inside and it's no holds barred animal shite all over this apartment crashing shite off the walls, knocking lamps over.

We end up in the friend's roommate's bed...I pull out a condom and put it on, but due to whiskey dick and the fact that this chick isn't exactly a stunner, I can't finish, so I flick the condom off and we both pass out but arse naked in this random girl's bed...We both wake up around 7-7:30 still horny and bang it out.

We attempt to find the condoms used the night before, but they are nowhere to be found. We just say frick it, clean up best we can... and leave and lock up...I drop her off at the sorority house. She left later that day to study abroad and I never spoke to her again.

I think all the time about where the lost condom(s) were and how the girl reacted when she found them...

BTW, did you and that last one you were talking about ever get married? Its been a while since you talked about and I seem to remember that being the topic.

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did you and that last one you were talking about ever get married

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Nah we unincorporated a while back

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You weren't? WTF

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I was only 19. I didnt even smoke my first cigarette till I was 21 believe it or not

Friends story...
He was dating a girl and she invited him to a big family dinner. He gets done eating and goes to back his chair out from the table but the leg lands on the pet cat and breaks its neck. Said it was the worst experience he ever had.

I was casually dating this girl for a little while. We weren't exclusive, but we were nearing to the point. I took her on a date to this hip French restaurant. We had some wine and enjoyed our meals. The food was really good. The food was also really, really fricking rich and buttery. The whole drive back to the apartment had my stomach churning the rich, buttery food...it was fricking rumbling and cramping. I had little beads of sweat formulating at the top of my forehead. I was begging for cool air and relief. Well, this girl lived in a 2 bedroom apartment and a shared bathroom.

We get back to the apartment and of course the fricking roommate is in the bathroom. I'm hallucinating at this point...the molten hot lava is about to spew....I can feel the vein on my forehead pulsating. The roommate comes out after putting on makeup and attempts small talk....I rushed past her. I knew that the small bathroom wouldn't provide me with the "privacy" needed. I run the faucet and rip my pants and explode. Imagine Harry from Dumb and Dumber. I was in there for a good 20 minutes. I knew they could hear...I knew they could smell...the little p.o.s. vent in the bathroom didn't stand a chance.

Oh yeah, as far as the girl, I haven't seen her since.

good shite.


A guy I know was sleeping on his then-GF's couch at her parent's house. Too drunk to drive home. Middle of the night he went to the bathroom and woke to a shriek. He was standing beside the parents' bed pissing on the mother.

True Story 100%. (still married her a year later)