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Started By
Message
Spinoff: Mom/Dad Parenting
Posted on 4/7/16 at 8:53 pm
Posted on 4/7/16 at 8:53 pm
I don't have kids, caveat. But was having a discussion today about dads going home because mom was too sick to take care of the child. Also, fathers taking off 2 weeks when the baby was born.
It is interesting that this is now the norm. I am in no way bashing it. Because I was raised in the 80's and have no kids, I only know what I was raised with. Not once did my father stay home with me when I was sick. That was mom's "job".
My first thought when I heard the new norm? Not that men are weaker, but women are. The women used to just deal with shite. Bear a child and husband is off golfing? OK, I got this. I'm sick and the baby is too? Got it. Men haven't changed, they don't want to piss off the *ussy. But now the women are more demanding, which is actually diminutive but makes them look like the alpha. Men are just required to cater to women who can't handle what their moms once did.
I guess this is progress?
It is interesting that this is now the norm. I am in no way bashing it. Because I was raised in the 80's and have no kids, I only know what I was raised with. Not once did my father stay home with me when I was sick. That was mom's "job".
My first thought when I heard the new norm? Not that men are weaker, but women are. The women used to just deal with shite. Bear a child and husband is off golfing? OK, I got this. I'm sick and the baby is too? Got it. Men haven't changed, they don't want to piss off the *ussy. But now the women are more demanding, which is actually diminutive but makes them look like the alpha. Men are just required to cater to women who can't handle what their moms once did.
I guess this is progress?
11
Posted on 4/7/16 at 8:55 pm to liz18lsu
How many more women work 40 hours a week now than the 80s?
Posted on 4/7/16 at 8:59 pm to schexyoung
grandparents used to help.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:03 pm to liz18lsu
No respectable man goes golfing. You play golf.
I stopped reading there, and forgot what I already read.
I stopped reading there, and forgot what I already read.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:19 pm to liz18lsu
I guess it depends on your definition of success. I'm of the mind that fathers who believe that they are just as responsible for the physical and mental well being of their children as mothers IS progress. But to each his own.
When our kids are sick my husband puts in time in taking care of them too not because he is weak or he has to placate the holder of the *ussy but because he is their father and my partner. And that is even with it being my "job" because I stay home. He's a damn good man.
When our kids are sick my husband puts in time in taking care of them too not because he is weak or he has to placate the holder of the *ussy but because he is their father and my partner. And that is even with it being my "job" because I stay home. He's a damn good man.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:21 pm to liz18lsu
I do have kids and am also a product of the 70's/80's. I have happily stayed home with sick children, changed plenty of diapers, fed the kids, brought them to the doctor, cleaned up their scratches, cleaned up their vomit, and shared in everything that used to be the purview of mothers. Our dads missed out on a lot of things because societal norms didn't encourage them to be caretakers in that way. I wouldn't trade it for anything. About the only thing I left to mom was "the talk" with the girls. Not because I'm not willing to discuss those things with our daughters but because it would not have been received as well.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:32 pm to Benne Wafer
quote:
Benne Wafer
Thank you, excellent response
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:40 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
It is interesting that this is now the norm. I am in no way bashing it.
Translation: I am bashing it.
quote:
Because I was raised in the 80's and have no kids, I only know what I was raised with. Not once did my father stay home with me when I was sick. That was mom's "job".
So if Dad chugs a bottle of whiskey every night and beats the shite out of his wife and kids, it's ok for you to follow suit once you have a family? My dad and his father had a horrible relationship. Instead of following his example of being a cold alcoholic a-hole to his children, he decided to do the opposite and have a close loving relationship with his kids.
quote:
My first thought when I heard the new norm? Not that men are weaker, but women are.
OK, so you're a sexist. Good to know.
quote:
Bear a child and husband is off golfing? OK, I got this. I'm sick and the baby is too? Got it. Men haven't changed, they don't want to piss off the *ussy. But now the women are more demanding, which is actually diminutive but makes them look like the alpha. Men are just required to cater to women who can't handle what their moms once did.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the 50s are over. If you want to be a part of a society where you can beat the shite out of your wife and kids for stepping out of line, move to Saudi Arabia.
Hope its a troll post, and if you are a woman (looks like a woman's screen name), you're totally insane.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:43 pm to liz18lsu
We're expecting our first and I know when the child is sick I'll be the one staying home. But that's more a function of me having a much more flexible work schedule than my wife.
This post was edited on 4/7/16 at 9:44 pm
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:45 pm to Golfer
quote:
We're expecting our first and I know when the child is sick I'll be the one staying home. But that's more a function of me having a much more flexible work schedule than my wife.
Yeah, I'm in outside sales, and if and when I have a kid, I'd say there's a sizable chance I'm going to be the one staying at home since I can largely do my job from home. If my wife turns out to be a nurse on a strict schedule, then it's clear what my duties would have to be.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:47 pm to OMLandshark
Ummm, you sound insane. I am a woman and applauded a woman for explaining it. I was questioning. Some people enjoy philosophical discussions to better understand things. If me explaining where I come from makes you so damn uncomfortable, when I am asking to better understand, slow down before you come in with your guns blazing.
BTW, neither parent drank, try again. We were discussing both parents working 50/50 (as my parents did) but now the "burden" if you will, is much more equal. Be a little more pensive.
BTW, neither parent drank, try again. We were discussing both parents working 50/50 (as my parents did) but now the "burden" if you will, is much more equal. Be a little more pensive.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:48 pm to Benne Wafer
Who the frick is this a-hole!?
Who am I kidding, wafer is in the name I like em already.
Who am I kidding, wafer is in the name I like em already.
This post was edited on 4/7/16 at 9:50 pm
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:51 pm to liz18lsu
No kids=no opinion
If you aren't raising one don't judge how others are. Hell even if you have one don't worry about what others do. Lastly, I don't know why but your post pissed me off and made me think you are a-hole. How's that for an opinion?
If you aren't raising one don't judge how others are. Hell even if you have one don't worry about what others do. Lastly, I don't know why but your post pissed me off and made me think you are a-hole. How's that for an opinion?
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:51 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
Ummm, you sound insane. I am a woman and applauded a woman for explaining it. I was questioning. Some people enjoy philosophical discussions to better understand things. If me explaining where I come from makes you so damn uncomfortable, when I am asking to better understand, slow down before you come in with your guns blazing.
But you say men are weak for staying at home instead of their wife. You also say that women really are the weaker sex. Maybe physically, I don't necessarily think that's the case mentally. Sure they're naturally more emotional, but I don't think that means weak. A father should be able to stay at home with his kids when they're sick to nurse them back to health. Really anyone shouldn't live to work, but work to live. Name a bigger reason for living than to help your sick kid?
And women can be sexist against their own sex as well. In fiction, Cersei Lannister is a prime example of this.
This post was edited on 4/7/16 at 9:53 pm
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:54 pm to OMLandshark
quote:
Cersei Lannister is a prime example of this
Funny I worked with her, on set.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:56 pm to jennBN
quote:
No kids=no opinion
If you aren't raising one don't judge how others are. Hell even if you have one don't worry about what others do. Lastly, I don't know why but your post pissed me off and made me think you are a-hole. How's that for an opinion?
Jenn, was asking, calm down. And no kids = no opinion, really? I have lots of opinions on shite I don't have...AIDS, poverty, unemployment, welfare, cancer, etc.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:58 pm to liz18lsu
My wife and I split duties pretty much down the middle. We take turns taking the kid to daycare and picking the kid up. If the kid is sick, whoever has the more flexible schedule at that given time takes time off work to handle it. I changed diapers plenty of times before the young one was potty trained. I didn't and don't have an issue. Like marriage, parenting is a partnership. That's the way it is.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 9:59 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
Funny I worked with her, on set.
Really? How was that?
Posted on 4/7/16 at 10:00 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
My first thought when I heard the new norm? Not that men are weaker, but women are. The women used to just deal with shite.
Uhhh. I wouldnt call it weak to have a husband help care for their child.
Posted on 4/7/16 at 10:02 pm to liz18lsu
Oh look at the woman with no kids talking shite about moms. Makes total sense.
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