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Started By
Message
Question for those with old school grandparents/parents...sleeping with SO
Posted on 9/29/15 at 9:58 am
Posted on 9/29/15 at 9:58 am
How old were you before you allowed to sleep in the same room with your significant other while visiting either your parents or grandparents?
I have spent the night at my grandparents on several occasions while dating my girlfriend, but we have always been required to sleep in separate bedrooms. Even when I used their house one evening while they were out of town I was instructed which room I should sleep in and which room my girlfriend should sleep in.
The same set of grandparents won't even permit my cousin, who is in his early 30's, to sleep in the same room with a girl he brings home for Christmas.
The only occasion involving my parents was when I brought an ex to the beach on a family vacation. She bunked in a room with several females and I slept on the couch in the living room. However, I was only 19 at the time and she was a few months younger than me so I could understand the issue. The number of available rooms in the beach house didn't really permit the two of us to take a room for ourselves. Plus, her mother made a point to speak with my dad about preventing the two of us from sharing a room together.
I have spent the night at my grandparents on several occasions while dating my girlfriend, but we have always been required to sleep in separate bedrooms. Even when I used their house one evening while they were out of town I was instructed which room I should sleep in and which room my girlfriend should sleep in.
The same set of grandparents won't even permit my cousin, who is in his early 30's, to sleep in the same room with a girl he brings home for Christmas.
The only occasion involving my parents was when I brought an ex to the beach on a family vacation. She bunked in a room with several females and I slept on the couch in the living room. However, I was only 19 at the time and she was a few months younger than me so I could understand the issue. The number of available rooms in the beach house didn't really permit the two of us to take a room for ourselves. Plus, her mother made a point to speak with my dad about preventing the two of us from sharing a room together.
32
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:00 am to saint amant steve
quote:
How old were you before you allowed to sleep in the same room with your significant other while visiting either your parents or grandparents?
once we were married
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:01 am to Salmon
quote:
once we were married
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:02 am to saint amant steve
It is not an age or time factor. What matters is if you are married or not. Married you get to sleep together, not married no way you sleep together.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:02 am to saint amant steve
My SOs parents do not care.
I don't sleep in the same room as her at my parents house but my mom knows I stay with my SO when visiting NOLA and my mom obviously assumes we sleep in the same bed.
I don't sleep in the same room as her at my parents house but my mom knows I stay with my SO when visiting NOLA and my mom obviously assumes we sleep in the same bed.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:03 am to saint amant steve
I've found that some of the older generations will bend the rules if they know you are engaged and/or living together. But ultimately, their house, their rules.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:04 am to rodnreel
quote:
It is not an age or time factor. What matters is if you are married or not. Married you get to sleep together, not married no way you sleep together.
I have a buddy that has been with his SO for almost 15 years. Not married, just "dating." One of the best guys in the world and would never cheat on the mother of his children, aka his girlfriend.
Are you saying that you don't think it would be okay for them to sleep in the same bed while visiting their parents?
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:10 am to saint amant steve
Parents will allow it if we've been dating for > 1 year. Grandparents won't allow it until marriage. I live close to all of them, so I rarely sleep over
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:15 am to Salmon
quote:
once we were married
Exactly this
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:18 am to AnonymousTiger
quote:
Are you saying that you don't think it would be okay for them to sleep in the same bed while visiting their parents?
No one in this thread is giving their own opinion of sharing a bed, they are giving what their parents/grandparents would say on the matter...and my grandmothers would certainly not think anything about the relationship you described was okay...
There was a 7 day stretch between the end of my lease (I moved from an apt to the house she had been renting) and our wedding, and my wife had to move back in with her parents for that week.
This post was edited on 9/29/15 at 10:20 am
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:24 am to AnonymousTiger
Probably not based on:
Disagreement with the relationship (dating for 15 years)
Not married
No one in my family would ever dream of dating someone for 15 years without being married. They'd most probably see it as an inability to commit and disrespectful. Just that would piss them off
Disagreement with the relationship (dating for 15 years)
Not married
No one in my family would ever dream of dating someone for 15 years without being married. They'd most probably see it as an inability to commit and disrespectful. Just that would piss them off
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:25 am to studentsect
quote:
No one in this thread is giving their own opinion of sharing a bed, they are giving what their parents/grandparents would say on the matter...and my grandmothers would certainly not think anything about the relationship you described was okay...
Your grandmothers are crazy then.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:25 am to saint amant steve
It's their house, so respect their rules. Not very hard to keep your horn-dog antics under control, just think of your grandmother.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:26 am to AnonymousTiger
Me and my wife, then fiancee, were 26 years old and engaged and my parents not only made us sleep in separate rooms when we stayed with them, but made me sleep downstairs while my wife slept upstairs 
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:28 am to saint amant steve
My now wife's mom let us sleep together after we had been dating for less than a month.
Her dad didn't let us sleep in the same room until we had been engaged for almost a year and a couple months from getting married.
We've never spent the night at my parents because they're both in town and we'd rather stay at my apartment.
Her dad didn't let us sleep in the same room until we had been engaged for almost a year and a couple months from getting married.
We've never spent the night at my parents because they're both in town and we'd rather stay at my apartment.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:28 am to saint amant steve
quote:
How old were you before you allowed to sleep in the same room with your significant other while visiting either your parents or grandparents?
Once married. It was never a rule or became an issue, everyone did it out of respect.
We had also been living together for 2 years and even during that time we slept in separate rooms when visiting or sleeping in same house as grandparents.
This post was edited on 9/29/15 at 10:31 am
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:30 am to More beer please
quote:
everyone did it out of respect.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:31 am to saint amant steve
I never had to sleep apart from the current SO (now my wife) even before we were engaged.
My Mom never cared, neither did her family.
My Mom never cared, neither did her family.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:31 am to saint amant steve
I'm 27, been dating her for 5 years, and have been engaged since summer.
Family vacay I still slept on the couch.
Family vacay I still slept on the couch.
Posted on 9/29/15 at 10:32 am to Salmon
My wife and I lived together prior to getting married. At that point we slept in the same room at her parents place and mine when we visited them. No disrespect to them was intended, but I see it as them also respecting my decision as an adult and if it came down to them making a fuss about it then we just wouldn't stay over there.
edit: I guess I'll clear up any confusion by saying the situation of having to choose how to sleep in the grandparents house never came up since we lost all of ours too early in life.
edit: I guess I'll clear up any confusion by saying the situation of having to choose how to sleep in the grandparents house never came up since we lost all of ours too early in life.
This post was edited on 9/29/15 at 10:34 am
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