re: My Mom has been getting worse with her dementia

condolences to you my friend

My grandmother went through this. Her neighbors called us one night at 3am. She was sitting on the front porch, dressed for the day, saying she was waiting for her friend to pick her up. The friend died 20 years prior.
She would also see squirrels flying around in her bedroom. There were no squirrels.
The worse was she wouldn't eat as much. We realized she had forgotten how to swallow.

Dementia is a bitch.

Just trying to help man. If you don't like my advice don't take it.

Found out today that my dad is either in the beginning of dementia, a stroke (or some mini ones), or a concussion from when they let him go and he cracked his head on the metal handle from the ambulance.

It's rough seeing him like this.

My dad and I took care of mom until she passed. It was heartbreaking, especially the final days when she could not understand how to eat, drink, swallow, etc.
I hate to tell you it’s going to get a lot worse.
When awake, mom constantly walked in circles. She would not sit down. She constantly begged to “go home” to see her daddy who had died in the 1950s. It was so damn sad.
My best advice is to try to be patient. I convinced myself the last few months that she was not the same person who had been the rock of our family, and it made her passing easier to take. My parents had been married for 62 years, and I think dad had come to the same conclusion I had. My brother and sister lived hours away, and they took her death pretty hard. Seeing her deterioration on a regular basis kinda prepared me for her passing several months in advance.

My mother is not to that point yet but if/when she does I'm going to tell myself she's in there somewhere and on some level she knows me and knows I'm trying to help even if she can't express it.

I’m so sorry. We had this issue with my dad.

If your mom has Medicare, she may qualify for benefits. My dad did.

Call your local social services office. They should have a social worker who can help you navigate. If you don’t want to do that, call her primary care doctor. They may be able to refer you for services. She may also qualify for long term hospice. It’s a bit scary to think of it that way. But it may be another benefit you can access.

Y’all may qualify for respite care once or twice a week just to get a break.

I’m wishing the best for you and your family.

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Tell her to run for president.

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That was an elite comment!

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I've posted several times in this thread that it's often possible to preserve at least some assets while still qualifying for medicaid. It's well worth consulting with an elder care lawyer. An initial consultation is usually free and you at least will know where you stand.

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This is correct. I've been practicing elder law for almost a decade now. You'd be surprised how we can preserve all of someone's assets and get Medicaid turned on.

Also, don't forget if either spouse was a vet, you can also get caregiver benefits turned on and a lifetime pension called aid and attendance. The pension for aid and attendance is $2,700/mo tax free for life for a married couple. It's life changing for many seniors.

We can often get both Medicaid and VA benefits turned on at the same time too.

That sucks, man. Sorry you and your mom are having to deal with this. I truly believe you are better off dropping dead from a heart attack.