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Message
Losing a loved one during the Holidays
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:23 pm
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:23 pm
Lost my pops last week after 5 years of ups and downs battling cancer. Everyone scrambling to make differ plans to keep the other half of the family together.
So much hurt and so much stress trying to do the right thing for everyone knowing he won't be with us this year.
Hopefully nobody else here has to go through this.
So much hurt and so much stress trying to do the right thing for everyone knowing he won't be with us this year.
Hopefully nobody else here has to go through this.
45
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:26 pm to meauxjeaux2
Sorry for your loss. The time of year has nothing to do with the grief.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:27 pm to meauxjeaux2
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/10/21 at 11:22 pm
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:27 pm to meauxjeaux2
quote:
Hopefully nobody else here has to go through this.
everyone goes through this
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:28 pm to SlowEasyConfident
It just seems tougher having to plan events that usual includes him. Especially when it comes to his side of the family.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:28 pm to meauxjeaux2
quote:
Hopefully nobody else here has to go through this.
Lost my brother Oct 11th. He wasn't battling cancer, didn't die of an accident, or some other way I could deal with.
He died at 36 at the hands of someone else not paying attention to their job.
Yeah, I'm hurting. His bday is New Years eve. Lot of alcohol and weed will be consumed.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:31 pm to meauxjeaux2
Not a holiday but lost my grandmother on my birthday. The day has never been the same since.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:32 pm to Walt OReilly
Birthdays are overrated compared to holidays.
Especially Christmas.
Especially Christmas.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:35 pm to meauxjeaux2
Tomorrow will make 30 years since I lost my father. I have officially lived longer than he did this year. Always makes the holidays a little less cheery. You get over it with time though
This post was edited on 12/18/15 at 5:36 pm
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:41 pm to meauxjeaux2
I'm sorry for your pain. There is no easy way around grief, you just have to go through it. Accept that it's okay to allow yourself to grieve and don't try to hurry yourself through it based on other people's opinions.
I know that's not what your post is about, but just thought you might need to hear it.
On topic, also accept that this holiday will be extra stressful because of the scrambling and not being sure how to handle it. You don't have to make everybody happy. Just do the best you can and don't tear yourself apart.
It doesn't mean every Christmas will be bad. Trust me on this.
I know that's not what your post is about, but just thought you might need to hear it.
On topic, also accept that this holiday will be extra stressful because of the scrambling and not being sure how to handle it. You don't have to make everybody happy. Just do the best you can and don't tear yourself apart.
It doesn't mean every Christmas will be bad. Trust me on this.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:44 pm to HeadyMurphey
My dad died 26 years ago today, at 7:18 pm during a Monday Night game between Randall Cunnigham's Eagles and the Hebert-led Saints in the Superdome.
Not that I have dwelt on it or anything like that...
Merry Christmas!
Not that I have dwelt on it or anything like that...
Merry Christmas!
Posted on 12/18/15 at 5:54 pm to soccerfüt
quote:
Not that I have dwelt on it or anything like that...
I hate thinking about such things.
He died on a Sunday. Not a fan of that day anymore. I was grinding up venison while my brother was having cpr performed on him by the Coast Guard. Every time I see them I cringe. Next year, and any year after, while grinding won't bring any fond memories.
Dates, times.....ugh!
Eta....didn't even post a pic of my 4 point mulie that I shot on the OB. Just don't care.
This post was edited on 12/18/15 at 6:03 pm
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:05 pm to meauxjeaux2
Lost my Dad the weekend before thanksgiving when I was 12. I know what you're going through and I'm sorry.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:13 pm to meauxjeaux2
My wife had family all die a couple years apart but all between thanksgiving and Christmas. Her grandmother is a total wreck during this time so we spend a lot of our time with her.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:16 pm to meauxjeaux2
I don't know if it ever gets easier.
It just gets...different.
Every year I put up a little tree at my brother's grave. Decorate it. Hope that maybe someone else will stop by and add an ornament to the tree.
Not that it matters to him, maybe, but it helps me to feel that he's not forgotten. Maybe it's silly, but I don't want him to be lonely.
Christmas is probably the hardest holiday.
I hang his ornaments on the tree. He's got a little box with his name on it. I choke back the emotions and open it up knowing it should be him doing it. Feeling guilty that it's me still here. A big brother is supposed to protect his younger siblings. Whether there was anything I could have done or not it still eats at me every day.
I still get him little gifts. Something to bring to his grave. Something to let him know I'm still here.
Maybe I'm stupid. Sentimental. Illogical. I'm just putting junk on cold stone, talking to someone who's voice I'll never hear again.
I don't know if it helps. Hell, I don't know if it even helps me. But I don't know what else to do. I can't just not do anything.
I know what the hurt is like. I don't think it matters how you grieve, but let yourself grieve however you need to.
brother. Sorry for your loss.
It just gets...different.
Every year I put up a little tree at my brother's grave. Decorate it. Hope that maybe someone else will stop by and add an ornament to the tree.
Not that it matters to him, maybe, but it helps me to feel that he's not forgotten. Maybe it's silly, but I don't want him to be lonely.
Christmas is probably the hardest holiday.
I hang his ornaments on the tree. He's got a little box with his name on it. I choke back the emotions and open it up knowing it should be him doing it. Feeling guilty that it's me still here. A big brother is supposed to protect his younger siblings. Whether there was anything I could have done or not it still eats at me every day.
I still get him little gifts. Something to bring to his grave. Something to let him know I'm still here.
Maybe I'm stupid. Sentimental. Illogical. I'm just putting junk on cold stone, talking to someone who's voice I'll never hear again.
I don't know if it helps. Hell, I don't know if it even helps me. But I don't know what else to do. I can't just not do anything.
I know what the hurt is like. I don't think it matters how you grieve, but let yourself grieve however you need to.
brother. Sorry for your loss.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:16 pm to meauxjeaux2
quote:Sorry to hear my friend... Best wishes to you and your family during the holidays.... Try to stay strong.....This year is the 1st xmas without my wifes sister... She is coping but its hard on her... I can't imagine losing someone so close to xmas...
Lost my pops last week after 5 years of ups and downs battling cancer
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:23 pm to meauxjeaux2
Sorry for your loss. Lost my FIL years ago on 12/22 after first chemo treatment. Went septic and bam, he was gone. Buried on the 26th, which is my birthday. Crappy Christmases for quite a few years after.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:30 pm to LSUintheNW
quote:
He died at 36 at the hands of someone else not paying attention to their job.
Damn..Sorry to hear that...So young...
quote:
His bday is New Years eve. Lot of alcohol and weed will be consumed.
You think that is the best way to handle this man???? Not harping on ya, Just thinking of being with the Family would seem like a better idea.... However you choose be careful.
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:35 pm to meauxjeaux2
Whoever down votes a person that recently (or at anytime) has lost someone that is near and dear to them can eat a bag of dicks.
I love the OT for what it is, but many of you are a bunch of pussies that hide behind the keyboard. I would love to see the upvote | downvote feature reveal who actually does this.
Sorry for your loss MJ2. I hope you are able to find comfort and strength in those that surround you to have the very best Merry Christmas that you can have, given the circumstances.
I love the OT for what it is, but many of you are a bunch of pussies that hide behind the keyboard. I would love to see the upvote | downvote feature reveal who actually does this.
Sorry for your loss MJ2. I hope you are able to find comfort and strength in those that surround you to have the very best Merry Christmas that you can have, given the circumstances.
This post was edited on 12/18/15 at 6:36 pm
Posted on 12/18/15 at 6:40 pm to Walt OReilly
quote:
Not a holiday but lost my grandmother on my birthday. The day has never been the same since.
Same thing happened to me. I was actually drunk at a baseball game when I got the call. I thought my cousin was calling to wish me a happy birthday....nope he was calling to give me the bad news. I still enjoy my birthday for the most part now but you are right...it's never been the same.
There is now a mixed feeling of sadness to the day.
OP....I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are able to come together this holiday season and be a source of comfort and support to one another.
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