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re: Is this a red flag? ie: dating and dealing with girl's mom
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:08 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:08 pm to lsuwontonwrap
if you have been dating for a number of months and have not seen an issue with her mom until this point, I wouldn't give it a second thought...I would expect mom to be a little uncomfortable with someone sleeping over and boning her daughter...
you try to start a bunch of crap about her mom controlling her life, etc. but you will come out on the losing end of that battle...
I say if you like her as much as you say you do, keep seeing her and have her stay at your house when you want...
you try to start a bunch of crap about her mom controlling her life, etc. but you will come out on the losing end of that battle...
I say if you like her as much as you say you do, keep seeing her and have her stay at your house when you want...
0
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:08 pm to blueboy
quote:
This is the only answer.
I disagree. Mom just needs a strong man to put her in her place. Clearly, the girl's father didn't do it.
Once a woman gets in front of a strong man, they back down. They crave this anyway.
The decision the OP has to make is wether or not the relationship is worth this investment.
This post was edited on 3/1/14 at 4:09 pm
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:08 pm to Tayday
quote:
How long have you been dating her?
About 7 months
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:09 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
've had this situation with plenty of stuff (like getting drunk a lot in college), where I can't exactly tell my folks "you're wrong, there is nothing wrong with getting hammered all the time!" So brushing them back until they get over it is the play. But the boundary thing is obvious as well.
I honestly can't remember the last time my parents even attempted to lecture me, on any subject
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:10 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
lsuwontonwrap
Did you all sleep in different rooms?
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:10 pm to EmperorGout
quote:
Damn, you people with all this respect for your parents...how you mystify me
I respect my parents; I just know I can't change anyone, and don't believe adult children are supposed to live under the thumbs of parents all of their lives. Some parents respect the boundaries of their adult children; some don't. There are times it's best to distance yourself from one or both to be able to maintain a good relationship.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:11 pm to lsuwontonwrap
I'm going to have a talk with her and voice my concerns. If nothing changes then I will revisit the issue.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:11 pm to LCA131
quote:
Did you all sleep in different rooms?
Nope
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:11 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Good call.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:14 pm to EmperorGout
quote:
I honestly can't remember the last time my parents even attempted to lecture me, on any subject
Good for you man.
My parents don't lecture me often, but my old man put himself through school, has commuted 3 hours a day for 40 years, and has gone from the mail room to the board room at great cost to his ambitions and health for us, so if he wants to ask me about whether I drink too much, I'm gonna let him talk.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:15 pm to lsuwontonwrap
this issue specifically isn't a big deal IMO
but if turns out that mom can manipulate her in many other things regarding yall's relationship then run and never look back
but if turns out that mom can manipulate her in many other things regarding yall's relationship then run and never look back
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:15 pm to Arkla Missy
quote:
I respect my parents; I just know I can't change anyone, and don't believe adult children are supposed to live under the thumbs of parents all of their lives.
I always kinda thought a part of the maturity process was realizing your children were adults capable of making their own decisions. I wouldn't want parents who thought they could lecture me on any given subject, or that I needed it.
Sometimes I've gotten pissed at them (of course) and then I read threads like this and realize what some of these dopes endure and I realize they've had their good qualities.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:16 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
Pettifogger
If her mom had done half of that, I would keep my mouth shut.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:18 pm to lsuwontonwrap
I think you've got it figured out. May be something, may fade out. Ultimately it won't be the mom, it'll be how the girl handles it. I could live with a bad MIL if the daughter handled it as best she could.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:18 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
My parents don't lecture me often, but my old man put himself through school, has commuted 3 hours a day for 40 years, and has gone from the mail room to the board room at great cost to his ambitions and health for us, so if he wants to ask me about whether I drink too much, I'm gonna let him talk.
Can't really argue with that
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:19 pm to EmperorGout
quote:
Damn, you people with all this respect for your parents...how you mystify me
Don't bash others because your brain damaged.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:19 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Tell her "Look, I'm not going to get in between you and your mother, but I'm not dating your mother, I'm dating you. So don't expect me to go out of my way to keep her happy."
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:21 pm to lsuwontonwrap
PIDB
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:27 pm to lsuwontonwrap
If you like her, deal with it. If not, move on.
This is truly the only answer. Obviously her moms crazy.
This is truly the only answer. Obviously her moms crazy.
Posted on 3/1/14 at 4:30 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Ask to piihb, if she says no, dump her
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