re: Is Dating in 2017 & Beyond A Dying Mentality?

There is not a topic in the world that you are not a total and complete dumbass about. It’s uncanny . Did you not have parents? Teachers? Human contact?

quote:

---

There is not a topic in the world that you are not a total and complete dumbass about

---

marriage continues to decline year after year but im the dumbass?

quote:

---

Absolutely correct. I guess the older I get, I realize how powerless I am over other's decisions. I won't necessarily say I'm a hedonist, maybe more of a pragmatist. Maybe I'm a nihilist...I don't really care

---

It's kinda hard to live in our modern society and not eventually just say f*&k it and try to stop worrying about how unbelievably f^%ked up it all is. We're rapidly approaching the same problem facing Japan. Their jobs are so demanding and the dating pool so f&%ked up that they've basically stopped even trying...as a society. They're just not having kids any more.

Our middle class is getting squeezed out of the baby-making business by economic interests (the rapidly lengthening amount of time needed to be spend in school to get a decent paying career, the costs of healthcare for families, the costs of private schools, etc) to the point that our responsible people are too responsible to have kids. Once they're too responsible to have kids, they'll eventually just say f&$k it, like the Japanese have done, and slowly stop dating entirely. Let's be honest, the only people breeding above the replacement rate are those who are paid to do so by our government, and those offspring are being raised by sh%tty parents to grow up into sh#ttier adults.

That is good until about your mid/late 20's ,but eventually getting with some random chick you met online gets old.

quote:

---

regardless of all that, and the risks involved with marriage, i just sense a societal trend that people will just avoid relationships altogether.

---

It goes beyond an avoidance of relationships.

What is the most terrifying thing in popular culture today? It's not terrorism, it's not taxes, death, or even commitment. It is emotional vulnerability. Our culture values lust, it values sex, it values strength, tenacity, and feeling, but not when it comes to relationships. The most terrifying thing to most single people is if another single person thinks you feel something, anything for them.

It all comes down to power. Power in a relationship is wielded by the one who cares the least, because they presumably have less to lose from walking away. When the woman likes the man more than the man likes the woman, he's in charge. When the man has more to lose from the woman leaving than from him stepping out, she owns him. Our young people didn't learn this from experience after a lifetime of dating, they knew it from adolescence. They've lived much of their lives by that credo. Caring too much about anything other than whatever your clique social group is indoctrinated to care about makes you vulnerable. Being vulnerable is bad, but so is being only interested in sex. Even if you are and so is your partner and everyone else knows that, it's still socially unacceptable for this to be known. Both sides have to fake like they're not just interested in hooking up because admitting what they actually want would make them sluts. And sluts are bad...even though guys like sluts...and girls like being them. It makes no sense, and it's hurtful to everyone because it forces people to lie about their intentions rather than just being straight up and honest about what they want.

We're like a bunch of cracked Christmas ornaments wrapped in tape and bubble-wrap afraid that if we feel anything we'll shatter beyond repair. However, we cannot shine in this world, we cannot climb the tree if we never unwrap ourselves and get out of the box. Today's dating culture is all about trying to justify only seeking what one wants (sex without intimacy) without being honest about it (pretending to not be "that type of girl"). If you feel anything, you're supposed to hide it so as not to lose your leverage or just run away now before you possibly feel anything more!

If this seems like a completely farcical and nonsensical set of behaviors, you're absolutely right, but the world is nothing but nonsense right now.

How bout you get the frick out of here with your carefully thought-out and sensible assertions.

Assuming these have been your own thoughts and not some copy-pastas, I applaud your dispassionate real talk.

I think this is where I'm supposed to by OT posting standards call you a:

"Ghey, millenial, unfortunate-looking, poor, non-OT Balling yadda, yadda, yadda......"

How many times a year do you start this pathetic thread?

quote:

---

The problem is that slamming randoms loses its appeal after a while. Eventually, you start wanting that deeper emotional connection, but dating in 2017 is a f&%king minefield. The thing is that technology has convinced all of the 4's that they're 8's, and all the 6's that they're 10's.

However, while most people's standards for themselves have gone kaput (being physically healthy, not being a terrible human being, having any redeeming skills whatsoever, etc) they all will accept nothing less than their deluded expectations (the 6's only want 10's).

This means that if you are an 8 or above, life is good. You have your pick of the litter, granted that physical attractiveness aside, 99% of those you pick from will still have almost no redeeming personality traits, interests, or skills, but you have an endless supply of them. You can just keep catching and releasing until you find one worth a damn.

However, if you're not an 8 (like me), if you suck at flirting, you're not wealthy, you're overweight, or you don't live in a major city with lots of singles, you're utterly f&%ked. The women on your level think they can do better. The ones that will settle for you either already have kids, emotional baggage, or are looking to trap you for money.

Let's face it. We're a sh&tty society filled with terrible, self-absorbed, delusional people with inflated self-worths crippled with the emotional issues commensurate with grappling the reality that their self worth out-paces their societal value. By demeaning home skills like sewing and cooking, eliminating the social stigma of promiscuity, promoting instant gratification and low impulse control, and indoctrinating young women that their value is detached from their sexuality, we have created a generation of women who give up their main valued asset freely while bringing literally nothing else to the table. By tricking young women into thinking those skills were worthless and that their minds are what is important while filling those minds with pop culture garbage and trash TV, young women have become largely worthless. Most have nothing of interest to say, they don't read, they don't contribute to society in any way, they have no skills, they have no concern for anyone but themselves, and basically offer nothing but their bodies, which they give up on the first date. Don't worry girls, the guys aren't much better.

Basically, the moral of this rant is:
Unless you're an IRL 8, being single is absolutely miserable.
Unless you hit the jackpot and find a partner with something more to offer than a recap of this week's "Bachelor in Paradise" drama or endless social media selfies, hold onto her if you can.

Granted, marriage (read no fault divorce) is a total screw job for men. In fact 90% of divorces are initiated by women in marriages where both partners have a college degree. Educated men with careers get butchered, even when their wives are wealthier, even when there's no infidelity, even when they're great fathers.

I guess the central thesis of this rambling post is:
1. focus on self improvement. If you can learn a skill or get healthier and go from a 6 to an 8, do it.
2. If you're not at least an 8, slaying randoms is not the "single life" you'll be enjoying.
3. Slaying randoms gets really old after a while.
4. When you find a deeper connection, cherish it.
5. Marriage is a raw deal for men because women are fickle and divorce gives them added incentive to rape your wallet and well-being.

---

Holy shite baw AMAZING.