re: How did you grieve when you lost your parent(s)?

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Dad unexpectedly died in January. For me it was life altering. I hated my job and realized I only have so many precious few years on this Earth before I die, so why not be happy doing something you want to do as opposed to just making money and being a miserable a-hole.

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Very well said. It was life altering for me too.

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but I think my mother will outlive us all

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The evil ones never die.

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The evil ones never die.

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that would be me, and also why I think I'll go before her

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I cried like a little child. I was complete inconsolable, and it felt like my heart was ripped right out of my chest

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I've never cried like I did in the first 15 minutes after hearing the news. Hell, I rarely cry anyhow. My father always encouraged us to "tough it out" in regards to anything. Yet, at the same time he was a very loving man. I always listened to his advice, right or wrong, like it was the word of god.

I never really cry. But for 15 minutes I was a completely different person. Insane grief. Virtually unexplainable.

i had to pull over on the interstate when driving after i heard the news when i was on way to hospital.... i was like losing my motor skills and weird feelings... very strange....

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that would be me, and also why I think I'll go before her

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I've been very lucky. I had my father's parents die before I was born. Other than that, no one in my family has died, other than my grandfather (best man ever to walk the planet), and I'm in my 40's and my family breeds like rats (there are 100's of us).

I would suggest changing the verbiage from "moving on" to "moving forward" moving on suggest you are leaving something behind and are over it. Moving forward suggest that you are not forgetting the person and simply putting one foot in front of the other to get thru the pain. Never tell someone who is in grief that it's time to move on. Grief is different for everyone and last years. You may have processed it in your method but everyone's methofs are different in dealing with grief.

My call came this past August when my world was turned upside down with a 3 am call that my 20 year old son died.

The first few months were just numbness and then the pain really set in. It's a constant pain that there is no relief from. I can be happy one minute and then something triggers him in my mind and I feel the full force of losing him all over again.

One thing you will find out quickly is the world moves on, people move on and it makes them uncomfortable to talk about death. Most of your family and friends will just simply ignore your grief or loss and never talk about it. It's even worse when your a guy because your expected to just be able to deal with it.

I would love for a family member, coworker, or friend to call and ask me how I'm doing and not just ignore the topic. But everybody is in the lets just ignore The loss stage. My wife gets plenty of calls like this but I guess because I'm a guy it's makes them uncomfortable to ask me how I am.

Honestly, the only thing that has helped me at all is going to a grief share group. It's one day a week where I get to spend time with others that are dealing with the same stuff. I recommend a group like that to anyone that has lost someone.

Who the hell is cutting onions in here?

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My father always encouraged us to "tough it out" in regards to anything.

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"about face"*

* from- "The Man Who Would Be King"

My Dad died in 1989 at the age of 56.I was 28.

It took a loooooong time.

I'm 53 now.I'm at peace with everything at this point.

My Dad will be in my mind and sometimes in my dreams,forever.