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Started By
Message
Gym Moron of the Week
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:45 am
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:45 am
I have discovered a new species of Gym dumbass
Anyone who has spent any time in the gym, probably has the same cast of characters no matter where you are - The Peacock, The Ren and Stimpy, The Lumberjack, The Faucet, etc, etc....
But I have identified something I have never seen before: The Micro-Repper
Since I have moved to a new gym, I cant help but be amazed and perplexed at this individual. Is this a routine of his own making? Did he read one too many Men's Health? Did he have a terrible personal trainer at some point in his past? Is he just mentally handicapped?
I've never seen anything like this - this guy does a series of the most worthless exercises, they're like "mini" reps. On any one of his "routines" his range of motion is maybe 5~6 inches up/down left/right. And, he'll do like 200 reps, it's hilarious
Lateral Side Step? He moves left to right and back, maybe a quarter or eighth of a step....like he's got ankle resistor bands on....except he doesnt. And to add insult to injury, he's toting a whopping 5lb weight clutched firmly to his chest. 500 reps 3 sets
Sit-up? More like 1/20th of a crunch. x300 reps, 5lb weight. At best, he's utilizing 2, 3 muscles
Push Ups, Pull ups, planks, knee bends - whatever you can think of, take that exercise, find some insignificant amount of weight, cut the range of motion by 1/10th and multiply that rep by x200
I guess I shouldnt be so critical, at least he's doing something, but he's not some fat frick, yet he's doing fat camp type exercises. But it's annoying, because he grabs one of everything in the gym, exercise ball, bosu ball, step, mat, kettle ball, and makes "camp" right in the worst location. And everyone just glares at this puddle of sweat with confusion, thinking "what a waste of time"
ok, I feel better now
Anyone who has spent any time in the gym, probably has the same cast of characters no matter where you are - The Peacock, The Ren and Stimpy, The Lumberjack, The Faucet, etc, etc....
But I have identified something I have never seen before: The Micro-Repper
Since I have moved to a new gym, I cant help but be amazed and perplexed at this individual. Is this a routine of his own making? Did he read one too many Men's Health? Did he have a terrible personal trainer at some point in his past? Is he just mentally handicapped?
I've never seen anything like this - this guy does a series of the most worthless exercises, they're like "mini" reps. On any one of his "routines" his range of motion is maybe 5~6 inches up/down left/right. And, he'll do like 200 reps, it's hilarious
Lateral Side Step? He moves left to right and back, maybe a quarter or eighth of a step....like he's got ankle resistor bands on....except he doesnt. And to add insult to injury, he's toting a whopping 5lb weight clutched firmly to his chest. 500 reps 3 sets
Sit-up? More like 1/20th of a crunch. x300 reps, 5lb weight. At best, he's utilizing 2, 3 muscles
Push Ups, Pull ups, planks, knee bends - whatever you can think of, take that exercise, find some insignificant amount of weight, cut the range of motion by 1/10th and multiply that rep by x200
I guess I shouldnt be so critical, at least he's doing something, but he's not some fat frick, yet he's doing fat camp type exercises. But it's annoying, because he grabs one of everything in the gym, exercise ball, bosu ball, step, mat, kettle ball, and makes "camp" right in the worst location. And everyone just glares at this puddle of sweat with confusion, thinking "what a waste of time"
ok, I feel better now
This post was edited on 4/5/16 at 8:06 am
16
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:48 am to Uncle Stu
quote:
Lateral Side Step? He moves left to right and back, maybe a quarter or eighth of a step....like he's got ankle resistor bands on....except he doesnt. And to add insult to injury, he's toting a whopping 5lb weight clutched firmly to his chest. 500 reps 3 sets
perhaps he's doing it for the cardio and not for strength?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:49 am to Uncle Stu
Just be happy for the guy. He's making an attempt to stay healthy. Geez. Folks get upset at the smallest stuff.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:49 am to Uncle Stu
Why don't you ask him not to take up so much space?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:49 am to Uncle Stu
on a related note. I'm bulking back up and my body resembles Stallone's in Rocky IV.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:50 am to Uncle Stu
"Man I'm so mad at what other people do at the gym! This guy had has hands inverted on the bar! I'm going to go start a thread. I forgot to mention the dude was wearing cargo shorts too. What a tool. Makes me so mad!"
Am I doing this right?
Am I doing this right?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:51 am to Uncle Stu
quote:
he grabs one of everything in the gym, exercise ball, bosu ball, step, mat, kettle ball, and makes "camp" right in the worst location
this is where he fails
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:52 am to Uncle Stu
Micr reps get you huge breh
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:52 am to Uncle Stu
Is it the really old guy who's joints hurt him so bad that he's doing the best he can? Or the meathead with the cutout shirt and backwards hat?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:52 am to Uncle Stu
i see old people doing this type of shite in our gym on a regular basis. you'll also see the fat Messican girl with a 40lb gut doing 150 crunches on the ab machines, hardly a one would actually count as a crunch, much less a sit up. Not even mentioning that she would need to lose 60lbs before said crunches made a difference.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:54 am to Uncle Stu
quote:
I guess I shouldnt be so critical, at least he's doing something, but he's not some fat frick, yet he's doing fat camp type exercises.
You should go back to elementary school and figure out how to put a sentence together instead of criticizing someone that is hitting the gym and trying to better themselves. Do you often stare at guys for their entire workout session trying to find something to criticize?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:55 am to BCMCubs
quote:
Just be happy for the guy. He's making an attempt to stay healthy. Geez. Folks get upset at the smallest stuff.
eh....it's still funny to laugh at
quote:
Why don't you ask him not to take up so much space?
yeah, that conversation is coming.
He likes to commandeer a squat rack (which he really doesnt use) and bleed out into the only real walking path between areas
I was doing something the other day in his favorite spot, and I could see the frustration on his face, and he grabbed his campground and moved off into the corner.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:58 am to Jyrdis
quote:
Is it the really old guy who's joints hurt him so bad that he's doing the best he can? Or the meathead with the cutout shirt and backwards hat?
that's somewhat the issue - he's 5'11" ish - probably 180lbs ? late 30's?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:59 am to Uncle Stu
Posted on 4/5/16 at 7:59 am to Uncle Stu
quote:
And everyone just glares at this puddle of sweat with confusion, thinking "what a waste of time"
And this is why people hate going to the gym.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 8:04 am to theunknownknight
quote:
on a related note. I'm bulking back up and my body resembles Stallone's in Rocky IV.
Are you more shredded than a Julienne salad?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 8:10 am to Uncle Stu
quote:
The Ren and Stimpy, The Lumberjack, The Faucet, etc, etc....
Is Ren and Stimpy the high school kids at mine that talk and laugh like hyenas?
What is the lumberjack? I might be the faucet because I sweat a lot and carry a towel at all times.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 8:16 am to Uncle Stu
No a gym dumbass is someone who does bicep curls right in front of the dumbbell rack and won't get the hell out of the way.
Posted on 4/5/16 at 8:25 am to Uncle Stu
I've heard of the peacock, but what are the definitions of the other gym personas you named?
Posted on 4/5/16 at 8:29 am to DaTroof
quote:
Do you often stare at guys for their entire workout session trying to find something to criticize?
No, starting this thread makes him feel better about staring at dudes while he's at the gym. He doesn't feel comfortable in his gay skin just yet.
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