re: For people who've lost a parent: What's the last thing you said to your mom/dad?

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My father was in a coma and his organs were slowly shutting down on him due to his failing health (both mental and physical deterioration).

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My dad's death was sudden and unexpected but I've wondered to myself if that was preferable to something long and drawn out. Of course, I'd have loved to have more years with him, and the opportunity to say goodbye but it's just a question I kick around in my head from time to time.

Mine is being moved later today or tomorrow into a facility from the hospital as a last resort to clear his abscess in his lung and pneumonia as well ...they said basically 4 weeks of iv antibiotics and after that theres nothing they can do... worst meeting of my life yesterday....he has been fighting this for 2 months now along with cancer since december....this thread will remind me to take in every minute with him from here on out.... thanks op couldnt have come at a better time!

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Mine is being moved later today or tomorrow into a facility from the hospital as a last resort to clear his abscess in his lung and pneumonia as well ...they said basically 4 weeks of iv antibiotics and after that theres nothing they can do... worst meeting of my life yesterday....he has been fighting this for 2 months now along with cancer since december....this thread will remind me to take in every minute with him from here on out.... thanks op couldnt have come at a better time!

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I hope this thread helps you cope in some way. I hope your father finds some peace before he passes...

I would never want to see a loved one suffer in pain for an extended period of time. I would almost rather hear that they died quickly in their sleep like my father did.

The downside is that if someone passes unexpectedly, you probably didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

That wears on you just like wishing you hadn't witnessed someone's pain and suffering. It sucks either way.

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Why'd I have to think about this??

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I'm not gonna lie, my eyes have leaked a couple times since I clicked on this thread.

My dad and I had been estranged for years. I was living in gulf Shores and he called me to say he wanted to come visit. He was taking mom's death hard. I lived in a house on the beach so I thought it would be good for him. We told each other that we loved each other and he was coming down the next week. He never made it. I've always cherished this phone call. I can't post exact words because I'm getting emotional already.

My dad died of a heart attack while on a work trip to another country. The night before he left we argued over something really stupid which I regret all the time. It was something like "I gave YOU the car keys", "No, you didn't" kind of dumb shite. I think when he left I grumbled "bye" to him because I had to go dig out my spare keys. (I found the lost keys in the grass where one of us had dropped them the next day.)

Don't ever leave/say good-bye like that to anyone, since you don't know if that will be the last time you see them. It sucks. This whole thread sucks.

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My dad's death was sudden and unexpected but I've wondered to myself if that was preferable to something long and drawn out. Of course, I'd have loved to have more years with him, and the opportunity to say goodbye but it's just a question I kick around in my head from time to time.

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I've watched/cared for grandparents and others who died slowly from terminal illnesses, and I've thought about this many times. For my father, dying suddenly was definitely the best way to go even though it was really hard for me. He was extremely active, so not being able to do things and being bedridden would have killed his spirit, even if it meant we had more time to say goodbye or make amends.

My mom died of congestive heart failure, in a gradual decline where we had several "She may not be here much longer" moments. Having cared for dying grandparents, I kind of knew the night she passed that this really would be it. I kissed her and told her I loved her, then stayed up later than normal to check on her. About an hour later I realized the oxygen machine was still on but she was no longer breathing. She lived much longer than a lifetime of doctors expected of her. No regrets there.

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Whenever I hear friends or acquaintances talk about how they haven't spoken to their mother or father for a long time due to some kind of rift, I encourage them to let the past bullshite roll off their shoulders and attempt to re-establish a relationship with their parent(s) as soon as possible

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What if your father is the one that makes it impossible to have a relationship with them by constantly bringing up shite from the past?

I tried for over 20 years and I gave up for the good of my own health.