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Ever been mounted by a cow or had one try? *not a bull...a female cow

Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:46 pm
Posted by Soup Sammich
Member since Aug 2015
3301 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:46 pm
First for me. Scary situation. Very friendly cow but acts like a dog. Thought I was gonna be the first person ever to take an udder up the bunghole.

Honestly, I didn’t know what was happening. Felt shear terror because 2 bulls and some horses where in there also. None of which are under 1000lbs.
I was immediately taken down from behind and it was obvious it had reared up and came down from up high towards my shoulders.
I scrambled out with relatively minor injuries but banged up pretty good. Bunghole intact though.
I’m not lactose intolerant but I want no part of an udder in my arse or the other guy there showing up and finding a fricked up cow dry humping my dead corpse. Would he have told my family the details?

Obviously they don’t have erect udders but I can’t get an erection either but I’ve jammed into my wife a few times. Just stuffed it in. She reminds me of a cow so it could be a correlation between the two.

But on a serious note, it was really a scary and traumatizing situation so I’m trying to make light of it all. I really don’t know what the cow was doing but with the horses and bulls also in there, I didn’t want to end up in a Mr. Hands situation since I wasn’t sure which animal It was at that moment. Or mauled and trampled.
My job requires me to feed them in the pen and keep them gentle around people. I must be really terrible at it or way too good at it. I don’t think I can get back in that pen. I just can’t. Been around livestock my entire life but this one shook me.
I should get to see the whole encounter on the cameras installed there but I don’t know if I want to bring it up to the owner if he hasn’t checked yet. He usually does only if something happened. I doubt he checks video of all the cameras every evening but these are his pride and joys of the farm.
But he is gonna want to know why I won’t keep feeding in there with no protection. (It’s pouring feed in a trough in the middle of a pen.)
I’m also worried about how I probably acted like a wuss and possibly screamed like a woman. (Maybe a few tears and hyperventilating once I was out of danger...but that’s not proven)

Sorry this is kind of long and weird. I needed to vent this bc im not telling my wife I’m scared of a cow or my friends either. But maybe I’m thinking too much into it but now is kinda funny but I’m not getting back I that pen alone no matter what if at all.
Also the OT would be the perfect place to post this.
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
115711 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:47 pm to
The hell
Posted by Langland
Trumplandia
Member since Apr 2014
15382 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:47 pm to
I was really hoping for pics.
Posted by AUTimbo
Member since Sep 2011
2867 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:47 pm to
Rip, is that you?
Posted by theantiquetiger
Paid Premium Member Plus
Member since Feb 2005
19190 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:47 pm to
Time to close the internet tonight
Posted by oleyeller
Vols, Bitch
Member since Oct 2012
32021 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:47 pm to
quote:

Ever been mounted by a cow


Hasnt everyone
Posted by LSU Coyote
Member since Sep 2007
53390 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:48 pm to
That thing woulda busted your guts.

Posted by MAXtheTIGER
Title town
Member since Dec 2006
983 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:48 pm to
How udderly frightening
Posted by Commandeaux
Zachary
Member since Jul 2009
7277 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:48 pm to
Your mom.
Posted by jrodLSUke
Premium
Member since Jan 2011
22124 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:49 pm to
Yes, I went to college.
Posted by Soup Sammich
Member since Aug 2015
3301 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:51 pm to
quote:

I was really hoping for pics.


I kinda want the video but don’t know what to say to the boss or blur my face if shown if it’s as embarrassing as I imagine
Posted by Rust Cohle
Baton rouge
Member since Mar 2014
1944 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:51 pm to
OP I think it’s pasture bedtime
Posted by t00f
Not where you think I am
Member since Jul 2016
89788 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:52 pm to
I think this is more your rape fantasy than reality. Good luck, seek help.
Posted by CobraCommander83
Member since Feb 2017
11543 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:52 pm to
quote:

Obviously they don’t have erect udders but I can’t get an erection either but I’ve jammed into my wife a few times. Just stuffed it in. She reminds me of a cow so it could be a correlation between the two.


Posted by gizmothepug
Louisiana
Member since Apr 2015
6426 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:52 pm to
You remind me of a guy that worked with a local power company that damn near got rapped/mauled buy one of those ostrich looking birds. Those claws are a bitch.
Posted by Soup Sammich
Member since Aug 2015
3301 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:53 pm to
I’m hitting the hay right now.
Posted by MAXtheTIGER
Title town
Member since Dec 2006
983 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:53 pm to
Don’t have a cow, man.
Posted by davyjones
NELA
Member since Feb 2019
30063 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:54 pm to
Get your pheromones checked. Your body was sending the wrong signal to that moo cow.
Posted by jamboybarry
Member since Feb 2011
32646 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:55 pm to
Don’t care, had sex
Posted by Sun God
Member since Jul 2009
44874 posts
Posted on 4/21/21 at 8:56 pm to
What the frick
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