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Christmas step parenting Q... am i wrong?

Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:39 pm
Posted by HoustonsTiger
Houston
Member since Feb 2007
388 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:39 pm
Background - been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage. Started getting to know the kids a year ago and we get along great. Her ex by her account is a dead beat and always the bare minimum type, who she despises and usually doesn’t have much good to say about.

This is her first Christmas without the kids (7, 4)

Christmas morning he starts sending her a bunch of videos of him with tje kids laughing, carrying on, etc. She is happy to see them happy on Christmas morning as would be expected.

She puts the phone in my face and tells me ‘look how happy they are!’ To which I reply ‘i would rather not watch videos of your ex husband on my Christmas morning, but great they are having a good time’.

This turns into an argument about me being selfish and unable to not think about myself, can’t put the kids first, etc. I just wanted to enjoy my coffee, and the day off work without having videos of her ex as part of it.

I didn’t (and don’t) think it was selfish of me to not want to watch the videos. I didn’t ask her to stop, just said I didn’t want to see them right now.

Am i wrong?

Don’t post much, but in b4 PIIHB, pics, etc etc etc

Posted by TheWalrus
Member since Dec 2012
40522 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:40 pm to
Run, 2 young kids by another man, no thanks
This post was edited on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm
Posted by Tyga Woods
South Central Jupiter Island, FL
Member since Sep 2016
30086 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:40 pm to
quote:

Am i wrong?


Yeah.

She wasn't asking you to watch videos of the ex, jackass.
This post was edited on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
58760 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm to
quote:

been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage.


Why?
Posted by lnomm34
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
12610 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:41 pm to
quote:

Background - been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage


Trashy.

quote:

Her ex by her account is a dead beat and always the bare minimum type, who she despises and usually doesn’t have much good to say about.



Trashy.

quote:

Christmas morning he starts sending her a bunch of videos of him


Trashy.
Posted by burdman
Louisiana
Member since Aug 2007
20686 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to
If you can’t watch children be excited on Christmas morning with their dad, then I’d suggest you stop dating women with children.
Posted by SlapahoeTribe
Tiger Nation
Member since Jul 2012
12101 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to
You are not going to win this argument, and yes you were wrong (even if you're right, you're still wrong).
Posted by TigersSEC2010
Warren, Michigan
Member since Jan 2010
37361 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to
Why the frick would you want to date someone with kids?
Posted by SCLibertarian
Conway, South Carolina
Member since Aug 2013
36046 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:42 pm to
quote:

can’t put the kids first

They're not your kids.
Posted by shutterspeed
MS Gulf Coast
Member since May 2007
63327 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:43 pm to
quote:

This turns into an argument about me being selfish and unable to not think about myself, can’t put the kids first, etc. I just wanted to enjoy my coffee, and the day off work without having videos of her ex as part of it.


How are you enjoying this little window into your future life?

Posted by scott8811
Ratchet City, LA
Member since Oct 2014
11333 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:44 pm to
would a simple...."aww that's nice." been that hard???
Posted by Upperdecker
St. George, LA
Member since Nov 2014
30575 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:44 pm to
You jealous of him? You’re taking his sloppy seconds
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
58760 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:44 pm to
quote:

They're not your kids.


This. Why should he be expected to put them first.
Posted by tigerfoot
Alexandria
Member since Sep 2006
56298 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:45 pm to
You have some growing up to do.

She was happy her kids were happy. Get over the ex this and ex that drama or do her a favor and get out
Posted by HoustonsTiger
Houston
Member since Feb 2007
388 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:45 pm to
Right, so point taken on the 'why date a woman with kids' bit.

But that isn't the question I was asking...

As to the window into the future, that certainly is an interesting take
Posted by BayouCatFan
Member since Jul 2008
4580 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:46 pm to
Sounds like you are threatened by the ex-husband.
Posted by SunsetTiger
SEZ
Member since Feb 2008
83 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to
Step-parenting is incredibly difficult. Congrats and your good relationship with the kids. That can be one of the hard parts sometimes.

Until they are grown, college age or so, their needs should come before my feelings of awkwardness. I have spent multiple birthdays and holidays in the company of people I prefer to not be around. In the end, the kids appreciate it.

However, watching videos of the ex on Christmas morning isn’t one of those things you have to suck up, in my opinion. Kids don’t know or care if you watch. I’m with you on this one.
Posted by PearlJam
NotBeardEaves
Member since Aug 2014
13908 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to
You aren't a step-parent and you were wrong.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124232 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to
It was my first Christmas with my lady’s kids there (here’s us)


Pleasantly surprised. They were behaved, got along great with the littles, were helpful and respectful, and other than being on the phones they just got for Christmas, perfectly pleasant.

I don’t blame a parent for wanting to have some interaction with her kids on Christmas even if they aren’t there. Don’t be so defensive, just smile and nod and then dick her down later. Don’t be a cünt.
Posted by HoustonsTiger
Houston
Member since Feb 2007
388 posts
Posted on 12/26/18 at 12:47 pm to
I understand she was happy. And I told her I'm happy for her.

Why is it an issue that I don't want to spend my morning watching these videos and enjoy my Christmas?

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