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Started By
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re: Buddy making his fiance sign a prenup that says no children.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 2:40 pm to H.M. Murdock
Posted on 3/23/14 at 2:40 pm to H.M. Murdock
quote:
He may love her and not want children. He made this clear, its her choice to stay with or not. How on earth can you believe this is the man's fault? The woman is aware of the fact he does not want children. She has the ability to leave...what is the problem?
As much as I hate to say it, you're correct.
I should preface this by saying the guy sounds like a huge Richard, but to be fair, he is being honest in terms of future wishes or intentions going forward. It's not like he's luring her into a marriage with false promises and the reneging once they've had the ceremony. She knows his intentions -- I'd venture a guess she's probably known he doesn't want kids for most of the time they've been together -- and has the opportunity to leave and hasn't.
My wife's friend is in a situation just like this -- living with a guy who's a genuine a-hole to her both in private and in front of people, generally treats her terribly, and she caves to him on everything because she's obsessed with being married and not being alone past 30. She's in for a rough life (like, this guy has legitimate emotional problems and will likely be a horrendous father and husband), but she's willfully suspended her sense of disbelief because she honestly believes the crap about "changing" him (has told my wife as much) and therefore won't nut up and leave. This guy, like the guy in the OP, at least has been fairly open about how he feels about the situation, so they can't totally be blamed. And no, I'm not victim blaming or anything, just opining about mutual culpability since both females were too obsessed with the status quo to do themselves a favor and move on to better situations.
This post was edited on 3/23/14 at 2:50 pm
0
Posted on 3/23/14 at 2:57 pm to oldcharlie8
quote:
this marriage won't last too long.
It'll last as long as he wants it to last. The fact that she caved on an issue of this magnitude and importance to her tells me all I need to know about the dynamics of the relationship. If she caved on kids, she'll cave on pretty much anything from here on out. Appeasement does not work in uneven relationships and marriages.
Example #472938 of a woman without the upper hand thinking the can "change" her man when in fact he's got her whipped as frick.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 3:01 pm to Y.A. Tittle
quote:
Right. You don't need a prenup to divorce your wife if she gets pregnant and you don't want kids. However, you won't be able to contract out of paternal monetary obligations if she does either. Ergo, the whole idea seems basically pointless.
Yeah, the guy is either just trying to prove a point about who has the upper hand in the relationship or in the back of his mind he's leaving open the possibility of someday wanting kids.
He'd get snipped if he was serious about not having kids.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 3:05 pm to athenslife101
Contract would never hold up in court.
I have a feeling this guy also thinks marriage should only be between a man and a woman because the purpose of marriage is to have children/a family.
Woman sounds dumb, too. Why wouldn't she move on? Nobody that loves you wants to force you to grow old and die childless.
I have a feeling this guy also thinks marriage should only be between a man and a woman because the purpose of marriage is to have children/a family.
Woman sounds dumb, too. Why wouldn't she move on? Nobody that loves you wants to force you to grow old and die childless.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 3:09 pm to Asgard Device
The whole idea of marriage is a structure to create and raise childeen. Why would this idiot woman want to marry someone who has no interest in kids? Just be his girlfriend and save your self the court drama later
Posted on 3/23/14 at 3:23 pm to athenslife101
Not the dudes fault here IMO He's the one that knows what he wants and doesn't want. He knows the chick thinks she can change his mind, he knows she can't . Rock On
Posted on 3/23/14 at 4:18 pm to redfish99
Here's the thing, if he proposed FIRST, then she ACCEPTED, then a pre-nup after that would be null and void because it would then be agreed to under duress, and agreements and contracts made under duress don't stand up in court.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 4:22 pm to athenslife101
your friend is an idiot for getting married if he doesn't want kids
Posted on 3/23/14 at 5:47 pm to redfish99
quote:
Not the dudes fault here IMO He's the one that knows what he wants and doesn't want. He knows the chick thinks she can change his mind, he knows she can't . Rock On
They both know what they want. It's not even close. There are things in life that a married couple can compromise on, this ain't one of them. I have no idea why he would waste the money and a chunk of life on something poisoned from the beginning.
She sounds like a mess to entertain something like this. He should set her loose and bang strange. No need to get married without babies.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 5:53 pm to LT
I wanted A girl and got one from my wife. I was okay with that. She wanted another. I didn't but she did and that was all that mattered. I got a son. Could not be happier. If you love each other you make sacrifices for the sake of the marriage. Period.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 7:16 pm to yellowfin
quote:
your friend is an idiot for getting married if he doesn't want kids
My wife and I have a few couple friends who are married and have been for several years and don't want kids one and for the foreseeable future. The thing that's stupid here is that the two people in the OP are on opposite sides of probably the biggest/greatest thing most of us will ever do in life, and that's a pretty big gulf in a new marriage.
Frankly, he's setting himself up for a miserable next few years, especially as their friends start having kids, because she'll probably constantly bug the everliving crap out of him about changing his mind and they'll probably have several fights if he hasn't.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 7:21 pm to Feral
quote:
Frankly, he's setting himself up for a miserable marriage
Fify
Posted on 3/23/14 at 7:26 pm to athenslife101
She should tell him she'll sign after he gets neutered. Then after he does she should write Frick off on the prenuptial, place the wring next to it and walk out.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 7:35 pm to athenslife101
Sounds like one of my old friends from high school. Lucky for him, he found a girl that is just as vain as him if not more, so they make each other happy even though neither of them have many friends left.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 7:56 pm to shawnlsu
She could always marry him then get pregnant by someone else. Worked for me.
Posted on 3/23/14 at 7:58 pm to Come2Conquer
well that escalated quickly
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