Best man speech jokes

I just flew in from insert your home city here and boy are my arms tired

explain something intimate about his wife so that everyone thinks you slept with her. its a hit every time

Rather than some overused cliche joke, tell a short funny story about the groom

Then say something nice about him and the bride

Then sit down

don't try too hard. For my brother's rehearsal dinner I was hammered and forgot everything I had planned to say. I started the speech with "thank you all for coming eat with me" and got a few good laughs. I then went on to say how I've been lucky to have role models like my brother and father in my life and then told a story of my brother getting torn up by feral cats in a hay baler when we were kids. Made that story an example of his persistence or some shite.

just end it with telling the bride something like "we'll always have vegas" .

Sal’s speech from Impractical Jokers

Bring up the grooms X girlfriend for sure

Get blackout drunk and trust your instincts. Don't hesitate to shed your slacks if that's what feels natural in the moment

They say the measure of a man is the company he keeps.

For that, groom’s name, I/we say, “You’re welcome.”

I shared a very heartwarming story about the first time I met the bride.

As I stated at the rehearsal dinner, I didn't know at the time she would be my best friends future bride.

See her car had broken down on the side of the rode. I offered her a ride to the local auto mechanic and in return she gave me the best blowing I'd ever had.

It killed at the dinner.