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Started By
Message
Best Custody Arrangement
Posted on 12/27/16 at 1:31 am
Posted on 12/27/16 at 1:31 am
Got a bud who just went thru divorce pretty amicably, especially considering 4 young children are involved & he's a slight OT baller.
He ended up with split custody of all weekends during the school year & 50/50 during holidays, including summer break from school. Also 50/50 on all bills, school supplies/fees, & sports/activities costs. No child support.
This seems like the best outcome for a parent, as a fellow parent looking from the outside in. I mean, you don't have to deal with the daily grind of school morning wake ups, breakfast, bus/car ride, afternoon care, HW, baths, & bedtime. You end up with a ton more quality time hours in a lower stress collection of time. Sure, some weekend HW/projects here & there. But you get all day & night together as opposed to maybe an hour before school that's a beating. Then 3-5 hours after school/work that's also a beating.
Add to the fact the ex isn't hounding him for a monthly CS check, that can get trashy...my buddy is making out like a bandit. He's going to get all the good childhood memories by going to games, movies, concerts, fairs, weekend trips, etc. I really think it's awesome for him as well as the kids. Shocked at how his ex also seems to be happy with it. She has been bragging that she "won" the kids. I'm guessing/hoping she's happy (but not openly admitting) that she's aware she's going to get to slut it up every weekend & holiday...
Anyone have experience with a custody breakdown like this? Or maybe know of a better one?
He ended up with split custody of all weekends during the school year & 50/50 during holidays, including summer break from school. Also 50/50 on all bills, school supplies/fees, & sports/activities costs. No child support.
This seems like the best outcome for a parent, as a fellow parent looking from the outside in. I mean, you don't have to deal with the daily grind of school morning wake ups, breakfast, bus/car ride, afternoon care, HW, baths, & bedtime. You end up with a ton more quality time hours in a lower stress collection of time. Sure, some weekend HW/projects here & there. But you get all day & night together as opposed to maybe an hour before school that's a beating. Then 3-5 hours after school/work that's also a beating.
Add to the fact the ex isn't hounding him for a monthly CS check, that can get trashy...my buddy is making out like a bandit. He's going to get all the good childhood memories by going to games, movies, concerts, fairs, weekend trips, etc. I really think it's awesome for him as well as the kids. Shocked at how his ex also seems to be happy with it. She has been bragging that she "won" the kids. I'm guessing/hoping she's happy (but not openly admitting) that she's aware she's going to get to slut it up every weekend & holiday...
Anyone have experience with a custody breakdown like this? Or maybe know of a better one?
18
Posted on 12/27/16 at 1:33 am to forever lsu30
Yep. He sure did make out like a bandit. The fact that his ex was amicable made all the difference in the world
Posted on 12/27/16 at 1:37 am to forever lsu30
quote:If I were that bitch I'd sue my lawyer
Also 50/50 on all bills, school supplies/fees, & sports/activities costs. No child support
Posted on 12/27/16 at 1:52 am to forever lsu30
I had this exact arrangement! Worked out perfectly although I did miss the mornings , the afternoon homework help , dinner every night , etc. His mother was great throughout and I could get him whenever he or I wanted and he turned out great! Full Scholarship to play baseball at a D1 school , will wrestle at the same college (on scholarship as well) and has been an all around awesome kid from day 1! When parents split and actually put the childs well being before either of their own , it can work out just fine. Sometimes better! His stepdad was a wrestler for Michigan St and taught him at home how to wrestle along with being taught in high school while I (I played baseball all through school) helped him along with baseball throughout. He had 2 great dads and an awesome mother to go along with a whole lot of support from a whole lot of family members whether they were blood or not. I could not have drawn up a better childhood for my son. And now he's on his way to having a successful life no matter how it turns out. Adults can be smart if they're not trash. Kudos to your buddy and his ex for acting like adults and putting the children first.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 2:31 am to forever lsu30
Is this in Lousiana?
This post was edited on 12/27/16 at 2:45 am
Posted on 12/27/16 at 4:30 am to NashBamaFan
quote:
NashBamaFan
That's awesome man. It's sad that divorce is so common yet stories like this aren't.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 4:46 am to forever lsu30
quote:
He ended up with split custody of all weekends during the school year & 50/50 during holidays, including summer break from school.
I was a kid who was a part of a custody arrangement kind of like this.
My parents both still lived in the same town so I just went wherever I wanted for the most part and spent all weekends with my dad and was with my mom during the week.
I liked it, especially because after football and other sports I got to hang out with my dad and watch film and what not.
My sister didn't like going to my dad's though after remarried. She for some reason didn't like our stepmom, but they're cool now.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 6:00 am to forever lsu30
quote:
She has been bragging that she "won" the kids. I'm guessing/hoping she's happy (but not openly admitting) that she's aware she's going to get to slut it up every weekend & holiday...
Yep. She just got herself a free babysitter for the weekends and she's excited.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:16 am to forever lsu30
quote:
I mean, you don't have to deal with the daily grind of school morning wake ups, breakfast, bus/car ride, afternoon care, HW, baths, & bedtime.
This is parenting.
quote:
You end up with a ton more quality time hours in a lower stress collection of time. Sure, some weekend HW/projects here & there. But you get all day & night together as opposed to maybe an hour before school that's a beating. Then 3-5 hours after school/work that's also a beating.
Weekends are "fun time".
So, if you are more into playing with your kids instead of actually doing the work of parenting, then this is a great arrangement.
quote:
Add to the fact the ex isn't hounding him for a monthly CS check,
50/50 arrangements don't mean that you don't have any Child Support (at least in most states). If he has a 50/50 arrangement with no child support, then he is a beta that makes as little or less than his ex. In my state, child support is based on % of each parent's income and contribution to the cost of raising the child (insurance, tuition, etc...).
quote:
Or maybe know of a better one?
The best arrangement I have heard of (both parents must live in close proximity of each other for this to work), is a 50/50 where one parent has Monday & Tuesday, the other parent has Wednesday and Thursday and they rotate Friday through Sunday. Pick-ups are after school (or Summer childcare). So Parent 1 has them Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning...Parent 2 has them Wednesday afternoon, Thursday and Friday morning...and they rotate Friday afternoon, Saturday and Sunday. Pure 50/50 split with rotating weekends. Both parents are involved in school work and weekday activities. Kids don't feel like they have one parent that guides them and one that is just for playtime.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:23 am to madmaxvol
quote:too much changing hands for kids
The best arrangement I have heard of (both parents must live in close proximity of each other for this to work), is a 50/50 where one parent has Monday & Tuesday, the other parent has Wednesday and Thursday and they rotate Friday through Sunday
7 and 7 is much better
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:24 am to forever lsu30
Week on and week off is pretty good too with the switch being in the week like a Wednesday. All holidays, spring break and parts of summer are rotated. So you get them Thanksgiving of a year, but not Xmas. On year you get them as soon as school is out for the summer, the next at the end of the summer. 50/50 on all costs and swaps are typically done at the school.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:40 am to Rouge
quote:
too much changing hands for kids
7 and 7 is much better
Absolutely. And judge that would agree to this arrangement is doing a disservice to the children. That is a grueling schedule.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:43 am to Tortious
quote:Preposterous
All holidays, spring break and parts of summer are rotated. So you get them Thanksgiving of a year, but not Xmas
You split the school Holidays. Thanksgiving kids get out for 2 weeks. You split that with the parents splitting the holiday day. Christmas they get out for 3 and you do the same.
No judge should make a kid miss a Holiday with both parents.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:46 am to meauxjeaux2
quote:
Thanksgiving kids get out for 2 weeks.
WTH?!?!?!?
Never heard of this
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:46 am to forever lsu30
What are the arrangements for each child's bday?
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:49 am to lsunurse
From what I have seen, birthdays are set up where non custodial parent gets 2-3 hours in the evening with birthday kid
This post was edited on 12/27/16 at 7:49 am
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:49 am to LCA131
quote:
WTH?!?!?!?
Never heard of this
my bad, you're right. It's only a week but you get what i'm saying.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:50 am to Rouge
quote:
too much changing hands for kids
7 and 7 is much better
bingo
I even heard of a arrangement once that was forced by the judge because their was so much bickering between the parents. Kids stay in original family house and the parents shuffled back and forth. I realize that this is financially impossible for most but outside of that its the best situation. Why should the kids be uprooted and dragged back and forth because one or both parents are frick ups.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:53 am to Rouge
Makes sense. I was always curious how that worked out.
You want a custody arrangement to be tested....wait until the child has to be hospitalized. I've seen that get really ugly at work. Most of the time both parents can be civil to one another. I've had both parents stay the night in the room with the child and manage not to kill each other. Other times....one parent is bringing in paperwork stating that a certain day of the week is "their day" and the other parent cannot visit the hospital that day. Or both parents are ok with each other visiting...but the new spouses/SO are banned from the hospital, etc.
You want a custody arrangement to be tested....wait until the child has to be hospitalized. I've seen that get really ugly at work. Most of the time both parents can be civil to one another. I've had both parents stay the night in the room with the child and manage not to kill each other. Other times....one parent is bringing in paperwork stating that a certain day of the week is "their day" and the other parent cannot visit the hospital that day. Or both parents are ok with each other visiting...but the new spouses/SO are banned from the hospital, etc.
Posted on 12/27/16 at 7:54 am to meauxjeaux2
quote:
Thanksgiving kids get out for 2 weeks. You split that with the parents splitting the holiday day. Christmas they get out for 3 and you do the same.
I have never heard of getting out 2 weeks for Thanksgiving and 3 for Christmas.
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