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Started By
Message
About to make a career/life change...
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:07 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:07 am
Life-changing decision due by noon tomorrow, so why not come to the OT for advice...
Been with a company for four years and things are looking promising for advancement within the next year.
SO moved an hour away to a better city. I have an offer for a lateral move there where I would be making 10% more with less opportunity for advancement.
If make the lateral move, I would physically move in with SO. If I keep my current job with better opportunity for advancement, I would have a two-hour round trip commute daily.
Gotta do the move, right? What says the mighty OT? Pics. PIIHB. Beta. Etc.
Been with a company for four years and things are looking promising for advancement within the next year.
SO moved an hour away to a better city. I have an offer for a lateral move there where I would be making 10% more with less opportunity for advancement.
If make the lateral move, I would physically move in with SO. If I keep my current job with better opportunity for advancement, I would have a two-hour round trip commute daily.
Gotta do the move, right? What says the mighty OT? Pics. PIIHB. Beta. Etc.
29
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:12 am to 1336
How many hours/day & days/week for the 2 hour round trip commute? That would factor into my decision. If you're commuting 5 days a week, and working 12 hours a day, that will be brutal.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:13 am to 1336
If your positive you'll advance and you will have a better career in the long run:
Make her move 1/2 way, y'all both drive 30 mins to work
Make her move 1/2 way, y'all both drive 30 mins to work
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:13 am to ZZTIGERS
5 days/week
8 hours/day mostly. Probably 5-6 12 hour days a month.
ETA: Can't make her move. She just closed on a house this month. 10 minutes from her job and an hour from mine.
8 hours/day mostly. Probably 5-6 12 hour days a month.
ETA: Can't make her move. She just closed on a house this month. 10 minutes from her job and an hour from mine.
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 3:15 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:19 am to 1336
Dude keep your job. Sometimes partners have to make sacrifices for the long run. You have way more upside with advancement. That's what's wrong with a lot of America, we only think about the 'here and now' without regard for the future. Sacrifice now, live better later.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:22 am to 1336
Why would she move so far away if she's invested into the relationship as you are? I mean you're talking about moving in with her then having to commute 2 hours round trip... Seems like you're a little more into this than she is... As of jobs, 10% of what? 50,000? 100,000? 5,000 extra a year really isn't that much with no room to move up...
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:25 am to AU4real35
Closer to 50k than 100k.
The more into it is a whole different discussion.
The more into it is a whole different discussion.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:29 am to 1336
quote:
Gotta do the move, right?
frick no. If your relationship can't survive 2 hour round trip commute it definitely won't survive living together.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:33 am to Broski
quote:
frick no. If your relationship can't survive 2 hour round trip commute it definitely won't survive living together.
This. 1 hour away is not that far away. Deal with it, it's life, now make the smarter decision.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:39 am to Broski
If you stay where you are, your upside is POSSIBLE advancement. Which in the mean time, is actually a pay cut because you're going to be commuting. Factor in the added gas costs + time costs + stress of a 2 hour commute 5 days a week + You turning down an immediate pay raise.
I would argue, that most people on here have already come to the realization that quality of life is way more important than the POSSIBILITY of more money.
If your relationship with the SO is the real deal, I don't think this conversation merits any more question.
I would argue, that most people on here have already come to the realization that quality of life is way more important than the POSSIBILITY of more money.
If your relationship with the SO is the real deal, I don't think this conversation merits any more question.
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 3:41 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:47 am to Paedin
quote:
I would argue, that most people on here have already come to the realization that quality of life is way more important than the POSSIBILITY of more money.
Or the possibility of a better quality of life. It's called sacrifice. You are one of the "here and now" thinkers. Sometimes you have to invest.
quote:
If your relationship with the SO is the real deal, I don't think this conversation merits any more question.
This doesn't even make sense.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:53 am to 1336
quote:
Can't make her move. She just closed on a house this month.
Wait...yall are in a long distance relationship and she just bought a house??
Clearly she expects you to uproot your life for her.
How long have yall been dating? Was it always agreed that you would move to be closer to her?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 3:56 am to 13SaintTiger
quote:
This doesn't even make sense.
Yeah it does. He is saying if he plans on marrying the girl....do what it takes to keep the relationship and move.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:00 am to 1336
Why did she move OP?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:03 am to 13SaintTiger
quote:
It's called sacrifice
Id make the sacrifice of less money for more time with SO every day that ends in y.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:19 am to Paedin
quote:
Id make the sacrifice of less money for more time with SO every day that ends in y.
Or if this is serious, this 'sacrifice' he's making by staying put, advancing in his job, and making a lot more and a brighter financial future in say 5-10 years is worth it.
Lets throw solid #s out.
Say he's making 60k right now and a lateral move would be 65k to be with his S/O. What if this long distance is for only a year and he ends up making 80-85k? I'll sacrifice a year's of time to solidify a 20k/yr raise for the next decade.
That's 200k in 10 years. That's half of a decent sized house for him, his wife, and future mini-me's. That's 200k of funds he pockets to 'sacrifice' less time with his S/O.
In the 21st century, there's enough technology for you to spend time with someone. It isn't about the amount of time, but the quality of it spent with your loved ones.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:19 am to 1336
quote:
The more into it is a whole different discussion.
This is the main thing you need to consider... Obviously you're moving because of the relationship. The question you should ask yourself is the relationship going to mature into marriage.. If you don't feel like it will or have your doubts, do the long distance thing for a while and let it play out like that..
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 4:21 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:39 am to htran90
quote:
Or if this is serious, this 'sacrifice' he's making by staying put, advancing in his job, and making a lot more and a brighter financial future in say 5-10 years is worth it.
Lets throw solid #s out.
Say he's making 60k right now and a lateral move would be 65k to be with his S/O. What if this long distance is for only a year and he ends up making 80-85k? I'll sacrifice a year's of time to solidify a 20k/yr raise for the next decade.
That's 200k in 10 years. That's half of a decent sized house for him, his wife, and future mini-me's. That's 200k of funds he pockets to 'sacrifice' less time with his S/O.
In the 21st century, there's enough technology for you to spend time with someone. It isn't about the amount of time, but the quality of it spent with your loved ones.
If were gonna throw some numbers around, using your figures
Year 1 - Assuming 1hr commute to and from at 70mph. 140 miles a day, 360 miles to a tank, thats a extra fill up twice a week at $50ea. So $100 a week * 52 = $5200.
60 to 65k pay raise opportunity cost = first year costs $10200 to work away, without factoring in the time cost equivalency.
Year 2 - he gets the 85k raise - He makes 20k more this year but hes gotta make up for the 10k lost from the year before and the oppurtunity cost of the 5k he could be making extra at the other job this year, so his net profit is 5k for year 2.
Year 3 - 20k - 5k opportunity cost = 15k profit
Year 4 - he gets promoted at the other job to the same 85k.
So for a hypothetical situation hes net profit for a 3 year span is 20k.
20k over 3 years? No thanks.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:39 am to 1336
An hour away from the girl isn't that far. Keep the better job. Sh moved kknowing y'all would be an hour apart but now expects you to follow and sacrifice your career. frick that
Posted on 6/12/14 at 4:48 am to lsunurse
quote:
Yeah it does. He is saying if he plans on marrying the girl....do what it takes to keep the relationship and move.
No, it does not. If they are " the real deal" about each other a freaking hour apart shouldn't be a huge deal for an investment in a brighter future. And this is coming from someone who has spent thousands of miles away from my wife. So no, I'm sorry but it doesn't make sense. How do we know they aren't already married? Is the guy afraid of her cheating, him cheating, can't be without each other temporarily? A recipe for disaster. Doing what it takes is something they both have to do, not just him.
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