re: A friend of mine is getting disowned by some family members for divorcing wife that

It really depends, if you're 5'10" 200 lb is not that big for a woman. Yeah thick, but that's it. If you're 4'11", then yeah she's probably a rollie pollie.

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So you tell me... If you supposedly loved them when would you pull the plug? At 25 pounds? 50? 100?

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This has already been answered for you. This isn't how people operate. I would "pull the plug" when I realized she wasn't interested in changing and there was no future in the relationship. That might occur at 75lbs, it might occur at 150 lbs. There would be a whole host of mitigating factors that would play a part in when I decided it was pointless to keep trying.


Now, do you mind answering the question you dodged earlier: If your spouse was addicted to heroin or meth and refused to quit or seek treatment would you leave them?

So this whole thing should shitty.

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I jokingly told him "maybe she has a thyroid problem".
He replied "no, she has a eating an entire box of Ho Hos in one sitting problem

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Ok so if he has an issue with her weight, why is he allowing junk food in his house? Or does he just not want to bother with the issue if she isn't going to resist? How much effort is he putting into helping her improve, because obviously not enough to limit her access to unhealthy food.

Also, his mom and sister are giving him shite? The dude's mom thinks he is in the wrong here; his mom. I'm going to go out on a limb and think that his mom knows him better than we do. The dude's own family doesn't have his back, but us online say frick the wife, she's the problem.

The mom is skinny, she was skinny before the kids (so apparently genetics would indicate she has a good metabolism) and now she's very overweight. He allowed that shite to happen.

If she was just some ball and chain that wanted a man to take care of her so she could let herself go, than I would hope his family would recognize her toxic behavior and be on his side. But that's not what happened. And if he's the type of guy who's family treat him like shite, his wife treats him like shite, than maybe he brings it on himself.

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Are you really comparing a fat partner to a drug addict partner?

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No. It's part of an ongoing dialogue I'm having with that poster meant to demonstrate that there are some valid reasons for divorce when neither partner has specifically violated their vows. You missed all that but thanks for jumping in anyways.

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So if an alcoholic wants to buy booze with their money the spouse shouldn't do anything about it?

They are married. That makes them a team. He clearly had a problem with her weight, so he needs to address it by making changes. Take ownership and limit junk food in the house. If she has a problem with that, than good now we know she is more of the problem because she would rather the food than her husband. But if he sits back and does nothing but complain, than he's not much better.

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I would imagine she has access to a grocery store and possibly even shops at one from time to time. What you are suggesting would be not only pointless but would likely lead to even more problems with not only her but with friends and family as well when they learn that he's literally attempting to dictate what she's (a grown adult with her own agency) allowed to eat or what food she can bring into the house.

That's not how you persuade your partner to lose weight. It's how you breed resentment.

I hope there is more to it than that.

Actually they’re both addicts so a comparison is valid

Im in my 40s.. ive been married, and ive been divorced.. what i can tell you is that sex is important.. is it the most important thing ? No, it is not.. but if youre in a relationship or marriage with a woman who is significantly overweight- it can in fact make sex into more of a ‘chore’ than something that you enjoy.. however , if ur with a woman who is attractive and in relatively good shape- it will get ur engine revving and actually make your performance better.. obviously you can take little blue pills or similar, but it still wont be as enjoyable if ur with a fat chick.. if you are a chubby chaser , then scratch everything i just said- but also know that you are a freak .