re: A family member with dementia and telling them they can't drive

I think for some people they aren't just fighting the practical reality of being unsafe drivers - part of the fight is sort of a metaphor for losing their life.

In that sense people with dementia are understandable when they try to drive in spite of being very dangerous on the road. If the issue is really just being able to get around town things like uber can help after the car is taken away.

I went through this with my mom. She didn't get angry but she got depressed. I think it made her realize that it was going to get worse and she didn't have much quality time left . fricking disease is horrible fricking frick Alzheimer s. I told my kids if I ever get it to roll my arse in front a an 18 wheeler on Hwy 61.

As people have said on here -- disable the car or remove it from the property. Tell him it caught fire and was totaled. My mother-in-law would drive off and get lost. Get power of attorney for financial and health care. If he has to go to a nursing home, make sure that they can care for him through end of life. Make sure that when his money runs out he can stay at that facility when he has to go on Medicaid. If not, you are going to play a juggling game.

Get used to the fact that you will be dealing with big time mood swings, not recognizing his kids, a lot of frustration resulting in anger/tantrums/combative behavior. It is like they regress back to their days as a two year old, but they are much bigger. Do not let it get to you as much as possible. Develop a thick hide. Just know that your dad would never intentionally say hateful things to you. They don't know any better.

My mother-in-law is now fingerpainting with shite. If she realized she was doing this, she would be absolutely horrified.

Now for the hard part. At some point you will realize that your dad has no QUALITY of life. If he is in a nursing home, you may want to seriously consider signing DO NOT RESUSITATE papers. If he has a stroke or heart attack, why would you want to save him so he can continue to be a vegetable? It is kinder to let them go. That is something you and your siblings/family have to agree upon. Touchy subject, but let's get real. I am sure your dad would have no desire to live past the point where he cannot hold his head up and he drools all over himself.

It doesn't get any better. It is a very sad situation. Keep the faith and good luck.

We're dealing with this with my dad. He knows he has 3 daughters, but sometimes he doesn't know us. He talked to my sister on the phone last weekend, but didn't connect my sister as his daughter. He also forgets that my mom passed. And when we remind him, he just says, "oh, yeah, that's right." It's very sad to see this.

He quit driving years ago, so this part is not an issue.

remove the spark plugs and give him his keys, that way when he try's to start it... not your fault, tell him you will need to get someone to look at it.

I couldn't convince my Mom to stop. She would get lost-literally left town. We put a tracker on her car and after months, we disabled her car and had it towed. She called a lawyer to report me. After time she got used to it but then she started walking- especially in the evening which they call sundowning. There are so many steps we all seem to go through but know that they are normal, albeit painful, and you aren't alone.

You don't have to make the doctor the bad guy. The dad will not remember who took the car away.

Also, do not try to convince him that he's wrong or try to make him understand things. This confuses them more and pisses them off. My MIL lives in her own little world. She tells us she cooked dinner and went shopping and drove herself (has not driven in 6 years). Just agree with them. Now she said she talked to her father the other day and had a nice conversation. He died when she was eight years old. But she didn't call him Dad. She called him by his name, Glenn. Sad.