A family member with dementia and telling them they can't drive

Normally, I'd reply with snark because this is the OT and we're terrible people, but shite like that is honestly my worst nightmare. Best of luck.

You are doing the right thing by not taking the path of least resistance

This will be hard to hear, but he is not the same man that you grew up with and loved.

It will only get worse.

Dementia will really make you question the existence of God.

Hide the keys and tell them it doesn't start anymore

Recently went through this with both parents. Unfortunately for them, they are both mentally sound. Dad can't see well enough to drive any more. Mom was recently diagnosed with tumors in her brain and spine.

Mom has been by far the more difficult case.

It's tough, but it's the right thing to do. I would be nearly inconsolable if someone got hurt because one of them was behind the wheel and caused an accident.

I watched this same thing happen with my grandmother. Just know that when your Dad does those things, it isn't really him talking or doing those things. Don't let those fifty years of memories go, those are the things you need to cling to as you go through this.

Praying for you, buddy.

My family went through this when my grandmother's Alzheimer's quickly progressed.

It's hard because you feel the need to be compassionate for their former self. However, you have to remember that that person now needs you more than ever to make tough decisions for them.

Tomorrow will be three weeks ago I buried my mom that suffered from dementia. Taking away her car keys was rough. What helped some was I'd see her every Sunday and would let her drive us to the store or wherever we were going.

But one day, on the way back from a restaurant, she turned down the wrong way on a major 4-lane road. I grabbed the wheel and got us out of on coming traffic's way. After that I would drive us in her car and that seemed to appease her.

I took the insults and anger hard at first, but you have to realize that's not your dad anymore. There will be times he will come back, but those times will become less and less.

You are going to experience some very tough, depressing and outright horrible things. It's changed me...and not for the better. Like someone said earlier...it will make you question the existence of God. My mom was a devout Christian and to see her suffering for over 7 years from that disease makes me think "no, there isn't".

I wish you luck. You have to be very patient and don't respond to your dad in anger...no matter what he says or does. He can't help it.

My grandfather went missing several years ago(he passed away in 2010) for several hours because of Alzheimers.


My grandmother had taken a Greyhound bus to Texas to visit family. My grandfather was supposed to pick her up at bus station. I guess her bus was late or something and he panicked and started driving around looking for her. Family couldn't find him for several hours. Finally...a very kind Blockbuster employee had noticed an old man wandering around the store calling out my grandmother's name. He was able to get contact info from my grandfather's wallet and called family to alert them and come pick him up. This was a Blockbuster location 4 HOURS away from where the bus station was.


That was the end of my grandfather driving. I know it broke my grandmother, my mom and her sister's hearts to take away his keys.

We are lucky that my grandparents decided to quit driving on their own.
My grandmother had dementia, it's a tough thing to handle.
Just keep telling yourself that it's the disease & not your dad.

Do you have Power of Attorney over medical & financials?
If not, do it as soon as possible.

Where is he wanting to drive to?
Try to take him where he wants to go, or just to get out the house some.

Good luck

My aunt has severe dementia. Two and a half years ago, my cousin and her husband moved up here (OKC metro) because of work. My family had noticed "little" signs of dementia during the process of moving up here, but they weren't sure if it was due to the stress of one of her children moving, or not. The night of July 4th, 2014 my mom called my cousin to let her know something was wrong. She and my aunt were talking on the phone, when all of a sudden my mother hears my aunt drop the phone, was asking for help. She could hear my aunt say she was lost, and couldn't find here way back inside the house (she was sitting on the front porch while she was talking). That night, me, my cousin and her husband drove back down to Many, La to pick her up and take her to the Dr. We all sat there and explained why we were there, and that we need to get her check out. Doing that was one of the hardest things I/we have ever done. She ran from us, threw things at us, told us how much she hated all of us, and even told my cousin, her deceased father would never let this happen. Today, she is living up here with my cousin and her husband and is non ambulatory, and she has the mental capacity of a toddler. My cousin takes care of her, now because she doesn't want to put her in a home. It's extremely tough to see someone you love be in that state, and I can't imagine how my cousin does what she does day in and day out. She's must be a saint . Good luck with your father man, I hope all goes well.