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Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New Orleans Saints
Posted on 8/13/14 at 10:59 am
Posted on 8/13/14 at 10:59 am
LINK
For those not familiar, Deadspin does a series every preseason basically just talking trash about every team/city.
For those not familiar, Deadspin does a series every preseason basically just talking trash about every team/city.
quote:
Louisiana is also the place writers go to train in all aspects of being a professional southerner: the arrogance, the liberal outrage, the overlong paeans to the food, the insistence that everyone outside of the Deep South has no idea how to live life correctly, the Jack White-ish brand of music snobbery, the mandatory "you've never been to a football game until you've been to an LSU night game" brag (LSU night games are pushed on people more than The Wire itself), and all the fricking vampires.
16
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:04 am to mm2316
Damn, spot on. Wow.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:04 am to mm2316
Lots of truth in there
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:06 am to mm2316
You beat me to it. I just read it and was coming here to post it.
Hilarious.
I love the Saints fans trashing the Saints. It reminded me of the bond I had with my family watching the Saints prior to our current run.
You weren't a real Saints fan unless you could verbally destroy them with efficiency. Glad to see some of that skill still exists.
Funny article.
Hilarious.
I love the Saints fans trashing the Saints. It reminded me of the bond I had with my family watching the Saints prior to our current run.
You weren't a real Saints fan unless you could verbally destroy them with efficiency. Glad to see some of that skill still exists.
Funny article.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:07 am to geauxtigers87
quote:
Worst of all, our Tim Burke reports that there is no live sex at the Live Sex Show. And here I thought you people knew how to cut loose.
I thought this was funny as well. I've never been to the place, but I've heard people who come in from out of town say they were let down by it too.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:22 am to mm2316
quote:
I'm sure Payton can hang a cinder block on his dick any time he thinks of himself as the NFL's great outlaw, when in reality he's just a sleazy, paranoid bro-coach who assumes he's smarter than everyone else in the room. If he weren't coaching the Saints, he'd be out making titty videos on Bourbon Street.
yup
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:27 am to quail man
quote:
I'm sure Payton can hang a cinder block on his dick any time he thinks of himself as the NFL's great outlaw, when in reality he's just a sleazy, paranoid bro-coach who assumes he's smarter than everyone else in the room. If he weren't coaching the Saints, he'd be out making titty videos on Bourbon Street.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:31 am to whodatfan
I've never seen that gif before, but it pretty much hits the mark.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:35 am to mm2316
Love these every year.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 11:53 am to mm2316
That shite was kinda brutal.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:06 pm to mm2316
gotta admit that if payton coached the cowboys/etc we'd all think he was the biggest douchewagon in the league
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:20 pm to mm2316
These are always great. Some of the fan submitted ones are really funny too but some of them are just obnoxious. They are funny because they are true. The ones that just say random negative stuff just make me mad. I'm not even sure this guy knows that Greg Williams and Rob Ryan are two different people.
quote:
Another year of Wolfman Rob and his chinese takeout menu defense, another year of Arena League scores. Wet, 1 ply, hotel room toilet paper can stop more shite than the Saints.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:26 pm to illuminatic
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:33 pm to mm2316
From the fan comments:
Can't be mad if it's true.
quote:
The city wasn't even dry yet from the worst disaster in its history, and our used car salesman of an owner was toying with the idea of moving the team to San Antonio. Our head coach looks like Frankie Muniz grew up, got the mumps, then got handed a headset. Drew Brees named one of his kids Baylen, that sounds like some hipster skydiving company. Our radio hosts consist of two former players, one of whom sounds like coach Fran from the Waterboy, and the other is usually loaded by halftime...and that's if we're winning. At one time, our team had not one but TWO quarterbacks named Billy Joe on the roster. Our most recent HOF inductee once owed the largest child support back payment amount in state history. The only bright side is that football season at least allows us to be distracted from the next mass shooting on one of the most famous tourist streets in the world.
Can't be mad if it's true.
This post was edited on 8/13/14 at 12:34 pm
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:39 pm to mm2316
quote:
the Jack White-ish brand of music snobbery, the mandatory "you've never been to a football game until you've been to an LSU night game"
Well done as always.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:49 pm to EastBankTiger
quote:
Normal Americans like me usually only go to Atlanta for no other purpose than to endure a layover
Posted on 8/13/14 at 12:55 pm to SippyCup
quote:
Apparently all the good parts of Atlanta aren't in, like, Atlanta Atlanta. They are in other Atlantas and thus are a two-mile, 158-minute drive away
quote:
They seem better! Oh God, don't let them be better. Let an awesome team like the Saints run them the frick over.
This post was edited on 8/13/14 at 12:59 pm
Posted on 8/13/14 at 1:17 pm to mm2316
quote:
I was planning on proposing to my then girlfriend (now my wife) at the Superdome, so I called the Saints organization to try and get field passes. After being transferred numerous times, I somehow got Mickey Loomis' number and explained to him how my girlfriend was a die-hard fan and how it would make her very happy to propose to her on the field. He told me, "We don't do that" and hung up on me. Dick.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 2:07 pm to mm2316
quote:
Louisiana is a conglomeration of 90,000 redneck parishes all vying to be the realest part of Louisiana.
it's so damn true. But really, Lafayette and the surrounding area are real Louisiana.
Posted on 8/13/14 at 3:02 pm to AlaTiger
quote:
You weren't a real Saints fan unless you could verbally destroy them with efficiency. Glad to see some of that skill still exists.
This.
A true Saints fan could trash the team in a manner that could come off as poetic. It was a skill that all die-hards learned over the years.
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