Scorpion Dick Extract! | TigerDroppings.com
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blueslover
New Orleans Saints Fan
deeper than deep south
Member since Sep 2007
21201 posts

Scorpion Dick Extract!

Image: http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/sppb1.jpg

Sean Payton: I’m back, men. I’m finally back. It seems like forever ago that I was coaching you guys, but I think I’ve used my time away from the game constructively. My long journey of discovery gave me perspective and a brand new lease on life. Also, I met Jozzylyyyn here. She really is quite a treat. It’s like a Super Bowl onside kick every night.

Jonathan Vilma: That’s great, coach, but we still got screwed over the NFL. They took a full season of ours and we’ll never get it back.

Sean Payton: That’s true. We got dicked over hardcore and we can never forget that. But being screwed by The Man doesn’t take away from the fact that you all didn’t DO YOUR JOB while I was gone. Don’t think I didn’t watch those games. You were awful.

Roman Harper: But we couldn’t affect the head! How were we supposed to play defense without kill shots? It’s not possible!

Sean Payton: It is possible.

Roman Harper: But how?

Sean Payton: You’re gonna see. Just before I made it back to New Orleans, I met this guy on the road. Gave me a lift on the road. We got to talking and I think he’s got some good ideas about how to fix our defense.

[Loading dock door flies open]

Rob Ryan: OW-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Lemme tell ya, I fricking love New Orleans. The whole town smells like beef bouillon and pussy. Fair rates on child creole prostitutes. Pretty good music, too. You boys like Captain Beefheart? Well, you will soon.

Jonathan Vilma: Wait a minute: this is the guy you got? He’s one of the Ryan brothers. Man, they practically invented bounties.

Rob: Invented? No way, compadre. Believe me, I tried getting the trademark. Then I found out it takes more work than kicking the shite out of whoever has the trademark to get it. Whole patent system is broke, if you ask me.

Roman Harper: This is ridiculous. Goodell is gonna be all over us.

Rob: Let that narrow-assed rich boy grill us all he wants. It is true that my daddy was all about the bounties. One time, he paid me and Rex $35 apiece to kneecap a radio guy who questioned his schemes. We would have done it for free, but dad loved his boys. Wanted to make sure we had cash on hand for whores. But he was also smart about it. No way Buddy would have been caught asking players to injure quarterbacks on tape. That documentarian wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the building in one piece.

Vilma: So, what, we’re just supposed to be super secretive about it?

Rob: Oh no, it’s a different era than it was back then. Headhunting alone won’t get it done. You have to wage biological warfare. That’s why I already got on the horn and got a shipment of scorpion dick extract mailed here from Ray Lewis’ guy. That stuff works wonders. fricks up a QB’s nervous system like nothing else. Thanks to Sean’s lady, we’re gonna get that in Matt Ryan’s system before the end of the week.

Curtis Lofton: I mean, I don’t know about this.

Rob: Uh oh, we gotta dissenter in the ranks. This sounds a job for the woodchipper.

Sean Payton: Woohoo! The Saints are back!

LINK


Patrick O Rly
New Orleans Saints Fan
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
38224 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!


Hoodoo Man
LSU Fan
Sunshine Pumping most days.
Member since Oct 2011
21345 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!


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Fearthehat0307
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2007
58535 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
meh, i'm a little disappointed I took the time to read that


Patrick O Rly
New Orleans Saints Fan
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
38224 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
I read a portion of it. It reads like a puppet show.


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CptRusty
New Orleans Saints Fan
We are the ones who knock
Member since Aug 2011
4612 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
I lol'd , 7/10. This guy is good, but he aint no Grand Master Wang


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Jayson78
New Orleans Saints Fan
Over There
Member since Sep 2011
965 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:

I fricking love New Orleans. The whole town smells like beef bouillon and pussy.




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yurintroubl
New Orleans Saints Fan
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
27258 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
I get a pretty good chuckle out of most of the stuff on KSK. This was amusing.


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Tygerfan
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Jan 2004
32546 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
Anyone know who that chick is with Payton??


** sits patiently with google open **


Hoodoo Man
LSU Fan
Sunshine Pumping most days.
Member since Oct 2011
21345 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:

Jozzylyyyn


swagsurfin7
Duke Fan
Founder of the Alex Morgan Fan Club
Member since Dec 2009
3978 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
A good laugh to start the morning. I got a mental picture of Rob Ryan busting out the door with a beer in hand yelling "ow-ooo!!!!"


NS Who Dat Nation
New Orleans Saints Fan
BR
Member since Jul 2007
8427 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
CSP is winning at the game of life.


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yurintroubl
New Orleans Saints Fan
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
27258 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:

A good laugh to start the morning. I got a mental picture of Rob Ryan busting out the door with a beer in hand yelling "ow-ooo!!!!"


Like the fricking KoolAid man.


Tygerfan
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Jan 2004
32546 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:

Jozzylyyyn




I got that, but when I search Jozzylyyyn, nothing comes up.


Patrick O Rly
New Orleans Saints Fan
y u do dis?
Member since Aug 2011
38224 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
Maybe it's not her real name!


blueslover
New Orleans Saints Fan
deeper than deep south
Member since Sep 2007
21201 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:

Like the fricking KoolAid man



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Suntiger
USA Fan
BR or somewhere else
Member since Feb 2007
22114 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:


quote:

Jozzylyyyn



I got that, but when I search Jozzylyyyn, nothing comes up.


Sounds like you need to buy some little blue pills.


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Tygerfan
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Jan 2004
32546 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!


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CajunBandit
Southeastern LA Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2010
1927 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
Profesional sports fanfic...


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Jayson78
New Orleans Saints Fan
Over There
Member since Sep 2011
965 posts

re: Scorpion Dick Extract!
quote:

Maybe it's not her real name!


Tuesday


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