re: The Rock to star in Big Trouble in Little China remake

I'm with Freaux, unsurprisingly. Big Trouble in Little China doesn't need a remake because it is such a unique film. You can't really recapture that, and a remake is wholly unnecessary.

But it is an even WORSE decision from a bean-counter perspective. Remaking quirky, beloved cult classics is dangerous ground. You will inevitably alienate the fans of the original and the original was a financial failure, so its likely the same idea will fail again.

I mean, look at how previous John Carpenter remakes have gone: Escape From LA (not technically a remake, it was a paint-by-numbers sequel), Attack on Pelham 1-2-3, The Thing (ok, a prequel), and The Fog. All four films were box office flops.

Why? Because John Carpenter was an f'n genius and you can't just hire some hack to remake his stuff (I know he did, Escape From LA, but he was firmly in his don't give a single frick period). and Carpenter fans, like myself, are not demanding a remake. And it's not like his films were ever popular in the first place. They were far too weird and violent to find mainstream success. Why would a studio follow that blueprint?

So, this is an artistically unnecessary choice that if recent history is any guide, will lead to financial ruin. Please, for the love of God, do not remake this movie.

No problem with a remake, but huge problem with the Rock as Jack Burton. Jack Burton is a trucker with an over inflated ego. That's what makes him great.



And Chris Pratt seems too young to play Jack Burton. They should cast today's ruggedly handsome, slightly goofy but still badass everyman:

Excellent article on why this is a bad idea:

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So why am I so adamant that, if producers and financiers aren’t utterly stupid, they’ll shut this idea off now?

1. If the regular marketplace won’t support a reboot as big as Poltergeist, why would they for Big Trouble In Little China? That means you’re really counting on original fans to create a groundswell for it, and this is the exact opposite of what they were hoping for: a sequel with Jack Burton, played by Kurt Russell, ideally directed by John Carpenter. He’s still alive, you know.

2. The character of Jack Burton was never a hero. He was, as they said in the old country, “a yutz.” It was Wang, played by Dennis Dun, who was the hero with Jack kind of bumbling through Clousseau-style, winning by accident, not by intent. He was a brawny guy, but a dork at heart, who just wanted to drive his truck and brag on his C.B. radio. In other words, he is so far removed from what we expect from our action heroes, how could we possibly get a new version to respect that explicit dopiness about the role? Isn’t Jack Burton now too old to shake the pillars of heaven? Yes, and he was too dumb to do it the first time. Trust me here — people would accept this as readily as they want to see Harrison Ford as Han Solo again. I’d go so far to say that Russell in 2016 as Jack Burton would be more of a logical step than him as Snake Plissken again.

By the way, they’re rebooting Escape From New York again, too. They’ll probably cast Bradley Cooper, I’ll bet.

3. If you cast Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Jack Burton (or whatever you now will call him), he’s not going to be a hapless dolt. He’s going to be a kick-arse, take no prisoners and no crap karaoke version of Jack Burton.

4. Without Carpenter, expect a super-slick, very expensive effort that — much like the original — will take a bloody haircut if it goes down. You have the admittedly tiny fanbase against it. You have the larger “anti-reboot” crowd against it on principal alone. You have everything riding on the considerable star power of The Rock. Make no mistake, the man can open a film, and his charisma is far and away more potent than his initial embarrassing debut in The Mummy Returns. But nobody is going to greenlight a script where The Rock has to be a clown, and the point of Jack Burton is that he is a loudmouthed, ignorant U.S. clown. In essence, you’re throwing all your money and hope on the back of one person, and he has to do the exact opposite of what made the prior version of a character charming.

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LINK

I think I have a way to make this movie go from potential disaster to possible masterpiece. Bring in Troy and Abed to play the Jack and Wang. Think about this:

Danny Glover and Danny Pudi as Ol' Jack Burton and Wang:






As an added bonus, Ken Jeong as Lo Pan:










Might as well just bring in the whole cast of Community and let Dan Harmon write the script. That would be something I would pay to see.

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people are really going to be mad this is being remade?

really?

i like this flick and even own it but I'm not gonna be its being remade.

shite, I'll see this opening weekend if The Rock is going to be Jack Burton.

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Have an upvote.

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When a remake is made, it erases the original from existence?

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Kind of. Yeah. Every time I see The Longest Yard on the channel guide, it's the shitty remake. Total Recall, Robocop, same thing.

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Yep.

Even if this (and with Rock, it may be) is in the 5% of remakes that hold water, to me it's more of a bummer for this generation than it is a heist of mine.

With all the scripts out there that could capture this time & place, Hollywood is basically dragging us to the state fair to catch REO.