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Rental Property Question- own an upstairs unit in a fourplex
Posted on 1/14/15 at 10:07 pm
Posted on 1/14/15 at 10:07 pm
Resident below mine is mentally disabled. His step dad told me he was beaten in the womb by his natural father. Step dad is his legal guardian as his mother has passed away. Step dad lives a half mile away in a single family home.
The kid (30ish) has an attendant paid for by the state for twelve hours a day. 8am-8pm.
The problem starts after 8 pm. He is fine as long as the drugs the nurse gives him before she leaves knock him out. But if they do not he is playing music loudly, walking around in the common area in his pajamas and making some really loud noises.
To top it off, he tells his caregivers and the residents of the other units that my tenant is his girl friend. He meets her when she drives up, leaves her gifts on her door and ask for hugs. He watches for her to pull in.
I feel sorry for the kid. It is not his fault. My previous tenant lived there for 7 years with this kid in place for about 4 of the latter years. The difference is that he was a 80 year old male with terrible hearing and enjoyed visiting with the kid.
His step dad is running for a spot on the HOA. He is so enthusiastic about it. I believe it his intent to squash any dissent to his son.
What are my options? This is causing me financial harm. I have reached out to him to address the situation but every time I do he ends up punishing the kid and caregivers.
PS: I lived there for a few months while remodeling and I know that my tenant is telling the truth regarding the music and wandering the halls.
The kid (30ish) has an attendant paid for by the state for twelve hours a day. 8am-8pm.
The problem starts after 8 pm. He is fine as long as the drugs the nurse gives him before she leaves knock him out. But if they do not he is playing music loudly, walking around in the common area in his pajamas and making some really loud noises.
To top it off, he tells his caregivers and the residents of the other units that my tenant is his girl friend. He meets her when she drives up, leaves her gifts on her door and ask for hugs. He watches for her to pull in.
I feel sorry for the kid. It is not his fault. My previous tenant lived there for 7 years with this kid in place for about 4 of the latter years. The difference is that he was a 80 year old male with terrible hearing and enjoyed visiting with the kid.
His step dad is running for a spot on the HOA. He is so enthusiastic about it. I believe it his intent to squash any dissent to his son.
What are my options? This is causing me financial harm. I have reached out to him to address the situation but every time I do he ends up punishing the kid and caregivers.
PS: I lived there for a few months while remodeling and I know that my tenant is telling the truth regarding the music and wandering the halls.
5
Posted on 1/14/15 at 10:34 pm to StrangeBrew
What's the current financial harm?
Posted on 1/14/15 at 10:44 pm to Mr.Perfect
Current tenant saying she loves the place but is going to break lease and move out due to noise and physical assault she endures between parking lot and her front door.
Posted on 1/14/15 at 11:15 pm to StrangeBrew
It's clearly a tough spot.
Perhaps you can work with the stepfather to change out speakers and reduce max volume but I'm sure the biggest issue is her feeling safe.
Unfortunately I think you are going to just have to be selective of your next tenant and find that old man type.
Kinda that or sell.
Perhaps you can work with the stepfather to change out speakers and reduce max volume but I'm sure the biggest issue is her feeling safe.
Unfortunately I think you are going to just have to be selective of your next tenant and find that old man type.
Kinda that or sell.
Posted on 1/15/15 at 8:21 am to Mr.Perfect
First off, kudos to you for the way you've handled it so far and your general outlook on it. If more people were like you, we'd be a lot better off.
I think the best thing for you in the long run is to try and facilitate relationships between your tenant, the guy, his caregivers and step dad. It can be totally weird and incredibly off-putting for someone who has never been around someone with a developmental disability before. Having a good relationship with the guy will make your tenants more comfortable establishing proper boundaries. Which will be good for both your tenant AND the guy.
I think the best thing for you in the long run is to try and facilitate relationships between your tenant, the guy, his caregivers and step dad. It can be totally weird and incredibly off-putting for someone who has never been around someone with a developmental disability before. Having a good relationship with the guy will make your tenants more comfortable establishing proper boundaries. Which will be good for both your tenant AND the guy.
Posted on 1/15/15 at 8:48 am to StrangeBrew
May be a dick move but I'd tell my tenant to call police when loud music or assault occurs
Posted on 1/15/15 at 8:54 am to StrangeBrew
Tough situation for sure. Kinda question why the step dad has him living by himself, but that's neither here nor there to your situation.
I'm assuming step dad owns the unit if he's angling to get on the HOA?
When you've reached out to him about the situation, have you mentioned your female tenant's uneasiness with what is going on?
I'm assuming step dad owns the unit if he's angling to get on the HOA?
When you've reached out to him about the situation, have you mentioned your female tenant's uneasiness with what is going on?
Posted on 1/15/15 at 9:08 am to The Spleen
quote:
When you've reached out to him about the situation, have you mentioned your female tenant's uneasiness with what is going on?
Exactly my thoughts. You the owner need to communicate with his stepdad/guardian directly and clearly: the noise issue is easily addressed by daddy dear (smaller speakers, headphones, a timer/lock that shuts off the music after a certain time.
But the tendency to inadvertently accost other people is potentially life-threatening for this not-so-young man. Daddy-o may be unaware that his lusting after the neighbor has crossed the line into actual physical contact unwanted by the lady.
Posted on 1/15/15 at 9:53 am to hungryone
With folks having developmental delay, the ultimate goal is independent living. That is why he's living on his own.
And I get your point, but lets not assume that the guy is just lusting after the girl. He may very well be, but the hugs and gifts are more a sign of not understanding acceptable social boundaries. But you're absolutely right, his ignorance to this could indeed get him hurt by people who misunderstand his motives, which is why you're doing him no favors by not saying anything.
You've got a great opportunity to be an advocate here. Your tenant, the disabled tenant, the other tenants in the units...We're all just trying to be happy in the time we spend here before we get to our ultimate destination.
I think this is the right way to handle it from both a financial and human perspective. Good luck man.
And I get your point, but lets not assume that the guy is just lusting after the girl. He may very well be, but the hugs and gifts are more a sign of not understanding acceptable social boundaries. But you're absolutely right, his ignorance to this could indeed get him hurt by people who misunderstand his motives, which is why you're doing him no favors by not saying anything.
You've got a great opportunity to be an advocate here. Your tenant, the disabled tenant, the other tenants in the units...We're all just trying to be happy in the time we spend here before we get to our ultimate destination.
I think this is the right way to handle it from both a financial and human perspective. Good luck man.
Posted on 1/15/15 at 9:58 am to hungryone
I have spoken to him about it several times. The kids behavior gets better for a short while then reverts back. She has dogs and as such goes out with them giving him more opportunity for engagement.
I do not understand how the kid needs daycare, but not night. He had a roommate for a while.
at first the tenant would engage the kid, now she blows by him without acknowledging.
She did text me at 3am about the noise.
I do not want to lose her as she has made improvements at no cost to me and the place looks fabulous.
I do not understand how the kid needs daycare, but not night. He had a roommate for a while.
at first the tenant would engage the kid, now she blows by him without acknowledging.
She did text me at 3am about the noise.
I do not want to lose her as she has made improvements at no cost to me and the place looks fabulous.
Posted on 1/15/15 at 10:19 am to StrangeBrew
Some of this is on the tenant. She can be pleasant and friendly to the kid while maintaining boundaries, but she's not automatically entitled to a universe free of difficult interactions. She's in possession of all of her faculties, so she can say "Hey Fred, nice to see you. I don't feel like hugging today. See you later!" and moving on with her dogs. If she finds this tedious or an imposition on her mere existence, then yes, she should find another place to live.
On the other hand, if "Fred" is physically larger than she is, and he can't distinguish between welcome and unwelcome hugs, whoever is responsible for him needs to be made aware of the issues. He's not calling her "friend", he's calling her "girlfriend". Sex and the developmentally disabled is practically a taboo topic, but ignoring the problem can lead to huge issues. Perhaps you can encourage her to speak directly to his stepdad in the role of "concerned lady neighbor".
On the other hand, if "Fred" is physically larger than she is, and he can't distinguish between welcome and unwelcome hugs, whoever is responsible for him needs to be made aware of the issues. He's not calling her "friend", he's calling her "girlfriend". Sex and the developmentally disabled is practically a taboo topic, but ignoring the problem can lead to huge issues. Perhaps you can encourage her to speak directly to his stepdad in the role of "concerned lady neighbor".
Posted on 1/15/15 at 10:40 am to StrangeBrew
Do you know of anyone that works with people with developmental disabilities? If so, maybe you can talk to them.
The mentally disabled have a lot of rights, but so does your tenant. Maybe the guy just needs constant reinforcement. His disability may not allow him to remember certain behaviors for a long period of time, so maybe the stepfather can remind him more often. It's like a child (which this guy probably has the mental capacity of a child). With a child, you need to constantly remind them what is acceptable. They do good for a while, then relapse.
We have a family friend that has a mentally disabled child that is in his late 20s, and he is very huggy as well. The kid is a sweet, golden person, he just wants affection. If most of these interactions with the tenant are happening when the sitter is gone, the kid probably just wants some human interaction.
The mentally disabled have a lot of rights, but so does your tenant. Maybe the guy just needs constant reinforcement. His disability may not allow him to remember certain behaviors for a long period of time, so maybe the stepfather can remind him more often. It's like a child (which this guy probably has the mental capacity of a child). With a child, you need to constantly remind them what is acceptable. They do good for a while, then relapse.
We have a family friend that has a mentally disabled child that is in his late 20s, and he is very huggy as well. The kid is a sweet, golden person, he just wants affection. If most of these interactions with the tenant are happening when the sitter is gone, the kid probably just wants some human interaction.
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