Buckeye Fan Instructions

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1. Wear red! Where a red t-shirt, polo shirt, or just paint yourself red. Yeah, yeah, yeah we know the colors are scarlet and gray, but gray is far less prideful. And, white shirts with an Ohio State logo should be avoided. If you wear anything beyond that, you should be banned from returning to the stadium for five years. Think about it. When ABC cuts to the blimp shot what do you want to see? A multicolored pixilated stadium or a solid, bright red Horseshoe teeming with noisy fans (assuming color can denote noise, of course). Possible exception made for rainy games. Not everyone has a red redcoat.

2. If you attend the game, do not ask the people in front of you to sit down. Deal with it and stand up. It is a sporting event, folks. People get excited and excited people stand up. That is the way it is and the way it should be. Live games are not convenient or comfortable. They are about energy and passion. If you want to ask other fans to sit down during commercial breaks, be my guest, but I am not sure why you are so interested in seeing the field then, anyway. Repeated requests for sitting should result in a collective booing for your section.

2a. Cheer audibly (when OSU is on defense, anyway). Standing there with your arms folded is not helping anyone. You do not need to yell until you go hoarse, but it would not kill you to clap a little. When I was younger, I remember going to games and the crowd noise would rattle opposing quarterbacks. In 1988, I recall Demetrius Brown having to call timeouts because his line could not hear the snap count. Hand signals and silent counts have lessened the trouble caused by this noise, but the psychological boost provided to the home team and the unnerving it can provide opponents is absolute. If you are still unsure, just go back and watch the 2002 and 2005 Ohio State v. Penn State games.

3. If you invite someone over to watch the Buckeyes, do not begin any sentence with, "Try not to..." Unacceptable! Adding the clause "my wife/kids are (blank)" is not going to help your cause, either. Anything goes during Ohio State viewing, and these phrases will only anger the most ardent fans. Listen, it is not that we dislike your wife and/or children (yet), it’s just that you should not have invited us over if you were going to attach qualifiers to it. We respect your family’s wishes, just not as much as Ohio State football. If told in advance, we may be able to provide earplugs or some of those construction earmuffs.

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I think the clapping part is aimed at the elderly rich people section at the game. They give LOTS of money though, so I guess I can't complain(too much anyways).

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Depending on what section your in you might think differently. Some of these old people just sit there like a bump on a log.

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Yeah, most of our fans do get loud and loud often. It's just the few old alumni that this is directed toward. Every school has them, including, believe it or not, the beloved LSU Tigers.

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But when it REALLY matters, even they get up and scream.

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Same for OSU. EVERYBODY's on their feet screaming on a big third down in a close game during the 2nd half.

Old people, brah.