The Annual When You Putting up Christmas Lights, Chicken?

The neighbors have had theirs up sometime before Halloween. All The local stores have the Christmas items out, and 96.1 FM in BR is playing Christmas music.

Chicken can't just "put the lights up." There's a bunch of steps involved in putting the lights up.




Go up into the attic.

Find the boxes of Christmas lights.

Bring down the boxes of Christmas lights.

Open the boxes.

Bring the boxes back upstairs because the boxes were for the Christmas tree lights. [NOTE: Mark Christmas boxes more carefully for next year.]

Look around for the boxes of TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Look around some more for the boxes of TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Start opening boxes at random for the TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Call Kalunda to see if he borrowed the Christmas lights.

Get some toilet paper for Kalunda.

Call Fred to see if he ate the TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Ask wife what the beep happened to the beep TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Apologize to wife for the language.

Go out into the garage where the rest of the TigerDroppings decorations are because the wife organized Chicken's beep after he continually ignored his wife's requests.

Help Little Chicken with some homework.

Have a beer.

Watch a game.

Answer call from RummelTiger asking if he should wear brown shoes or black shoes with a navy suit, and reminding Chicken that he needs to put up the Christmas lights.

Go out into the garage.

Look at his exercise equipment getting dusty with a smattering of mildew.

Open up boxes looking for the TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Find box of LLOTOT's nude pics.

Peruse the pics. Chuckle to himself about gullibility of LLOTOTs and the Tiger Dave and panties incident.

Panic about whether his wife might have opened the box when she organized Chicken's shite.

Fantasize about threesome involving his wife and Blondie.

Close the box, tape it, and put it under a stack of other boxes.

Go take a shower.

Have a beer.

Watch a game.

Answer call from Ice Cold about whether the recent ban limits apply even to the SEC Rant. Assure him that they do not apply to the SEC Rant. Tell Ice Cold to remind Tomy Dingo that he is way down on his quota and that he needs to grow a pair.

Answer call from Baloo about some intellectual shite that Chicken does not understand in the slightest. Say, "yeah" and "uh-huh" a lot.

Answer panicky call from Rex. Remind Rex. to take his meds . . . again.

Eat dinner.

Have a beer.

Watch a game.

Answer phone call from Uncle Stu reminding Chicken to put up the Christmas lights. Curse.

Go back into the garage and grab TigerDroppings Christmas lights.

Check bulbs.

Go to store to buy more bulbs.

Return home and check bulbs again.

Go back to store and just buy some new fricking strings of lights.

Return home.

Answer call from supatigah about Louisiana high school sports. Feign interest. Deny forty-third request to conduct a second ThunderDome™. Reminisce about the good old days on the boards. Get reminded that there are no Christmas lights up yet. Re-assure supatigah about his place in the pecking order of admins.

Go to computer.

Answer email from Chief Illiniwek about coaching search and whether Sumlin might be in line for job. Laugh.

Start inputting code to put up lights.

Answer instant message from ByteMe about possible additional boards. Laugh about Music Board.

Try to input code to put up the Christmas lights.

Try to input code to put up the Christmas lights.

Try to input code to put up the Christmas lights.

Send email to Circus Child asking him if he can put up the Christmas lights as usual.