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Started By
Message
re: Christmas step parenting Q... am i wrong?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:01 pm to Mo Jeaux
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:01 pm to Mo Jeaux
Those kids, the ex-husband will be with you FOREVER! They will always be affecting your lives.
Even if you and her have kids of your own, they will still have a large impact on yalls lives. They will always be her kids and your kids brother and sister.
Even when the kids are grown and out of the house, they will still be your girlfriends kids and they will have a big force in y’alls lives.
It never ends. Ever.
Just know that going in.
You have to be really open and mature about it for your the rest of your life. The kind of stuff you’re dealing with now won’t ever go away.
Merry Christmas.
Even if you and her have kids of your own, they will still have a large impact on yalls lives. They will always be her kids and your kids brother and sister.
Even when the kids are grown and out of the house, they will still be your girlfriends kids and they will have a big force in y’alls lives.
It never ends. Ever.
Just know that going in.
You have to be really open and mature about it for your the rest of your life. The kind of stuff you’re dealing with now won’t ever go away.
Merry Christmas.
1
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:01 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
HoustonsTiger
It’s not about you being right, there wasn’t much wrong with what you did OP. It’s about supporting her, she was having a very hard and emotionally taxing time without her kids and what you did made it worse. She doesn’t give a crap about you on Christmas morning compared to her kids.
Just apologize and tell her you now understand some things like Christmas are more about the kids then the relationship. You are blowing it out of proportion I think.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:01 pm to HoustonsTiger
(no message)
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:02 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:spending your entire morning or spending 5 minutes? She misses her kids on Christmas morning as expected and you made a selfish call to spare yourself 5 minutes of watching her kids open presents.
But at the same time, was it really THAT out of line to rather spend my morning in a different way?
It’s the next day - not too late to apologize.
This post was edited on 12/26/18 at 1:04 pm
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:02 pm to HoustonsTiger
You need to establish dominance with this guy. Bang him in front of her.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:02 pm to Jj283
quote:
What would have been more painless?
I didn't think it was going to be painful. Figured she would have her coffee and watch videos, I would have mine while feeding my dog.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:03 pm to sparkinator
So you're saying he should just kick the bitch to the curb, save money, and enjoy commitmentless vagina. If she is ungrateful, I agree!
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:04 pm to baldona
quote:
It’s about supporting her
Right - but in my mind (maybe Im wrong) it's not like I was not supporting her. I didn't tell her to not watch, to leave the room, or anything like that.
I just said I didn't want to watch....
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:04 pm to HoustonsTiger
Telling your girlfriend of a year and a half you don’t want to watch videos of her kids enjoying Christmas because their real dad is in some of the videos is hilarious the more I think about it
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:04 pm to HoustonsTiger
Why did they divorce in the first place?
I mean, their younger kid couldn't have been more than 2 at the time.
I mean, their younger kid couldn't have been more than 2 at the time.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:05 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
OK - for those hung up on 'step parent' does it change things we are engaged and moving in together?
You have chosen to marry a woman with young children. If you can't suck it up and smile and say something nice about some Christmas videos taken by their dad you might not be cut out for the whole step-parent thing. And not being cut out for step-parenting isn't an option if you're going to stay with her. Do you have children of your own?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:05 pm to Displaced
quote:
Why did they divorce in the first place?
There was a physical altercation
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:05 pm to momentoftruth87
Where did I say that?
I told him how it is when you commit to someone with kids of their own. It’s just reality. If he’s really strong, mature, and lives her they can probably make it work.
But it will be trying. And hard.
I told him how it is when you commit to someone with kids of their own. It’s just reality. If he’s really strong, mature, and lives her they can probably make it work.
But it will be trying. And hard.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:06 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:you could have easily played this off as ‘that’s awesome sweetie - gimme five minutes to wake up, have my coffee and feed the dog and id love to watch some more’ - throw in a ‘I didn’t sleep well last night’ and you would’ve been golden.
Figured she would have her coffee and watch videos, I would have mine while feeding my dog.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:06 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
Background - been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage.
Cringe
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:07 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
OK - for those hung up on 'step parent' does it change things we are engaged and moving in together?
This makes you seem like an even bigger a-hole that you can't a few minutes to watch videos of your future step kids
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:07 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:i give up
Right - but in my mind (maybe Im wrong) it's not like I was not supporting her. I didn't tell her to not watch, to leave the room, or anything like that.
I just said I didn't want to watch....
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:07 pm to HoustonsTiger
You could have said “I’m glad the kids are having fun.” and left it at that. Your opinion doesn’t always need to be heard.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:07 pm to Tyga Woods
quote:
Do you have children of your own?
No I do not.
Not being cut out for step parenting could be a real issue. I've struggled with some aspects as I think anyone would, but largely think I do OK.
FWIW - I love the kids. I think they are incredible
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:07 pm to HoustonsTiger
Id never date anyone with kids but if you choose to do that I suppose its smart on your part to occasionally play a part you don’t really want to play.
That said a divorced woman with two kids should be bending over backwards to make sure anyone willing to date her is happy. Seems like this woman may be difficult enough to consider not taking that much further
That said a divorced woman with two kids should be bending over backwards to make sure anyone willing to date her is happy. Seems like this woman may be difficult enough to consider not taking that much further
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