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1
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:13 am to DeathValley85
As a kid, I was throwing a glass bottle against a tree when the bottle bounced off and sliced a 1/2" wide gash across my friend's calf
Dude needed 15 staples and still has a scar 30 years later.
Dude needed 15 staples and still has a scar 30 years later.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:15 am to DeathValley85
When I was 10 years old I took my dog for a walk. She took a massive shite in some old mans yard. The old man came out and asked if I was going to clean it up. I said yes then ran home. I was scared he'd come find me because I had zero intention of going back to clean it up.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:17 am to President
About 180 yards out on a par 4, grabbed a 7 iron thinking this will be a nice layup. Nailed a guy in the back of the head coming off the green. His knees buckled but he never collapsed. I apologized and purchased his group a round of drinks at the turn.
This post was edited on 6/21/17 at 9:35 am
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:20 am to President
Accidentally knocked up my wife... 
I kid, I kid. My daughter is the greatest surprise to ever happen to me.
I kid, I kid. My daughter is the greatest surprise to ever happen to me.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:21 am to Gorilla Ball
quote:
About 180 yards out on a par 4, grabbed a 7 iron thinking this will be a nice layup
Why you laying up from 180?
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:22 am to Gorilla Ball
About 7 years old was playing in sandbox with neighbor kid and was hosting around throwing sand. It went in his eyes and caused a lot of damage, he was basically blinded. He got made fun of a lot in school because he looked like a nerd with these coke bottle glasses. 35 years of guilt. Thank God he had dumbass redneck parents cause they never sued.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:22 am to President
When I was a kid I was twirling a length of fishing line with a weight on the end and then slinging it straight up in the air and trying to catch it coming back down. One time it landed in the middle of my neighbors car windshield. I just retrieved my weight and hid inside the rest of the day.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:24 am to Placebeaux
quote:
Ran over some kids dog. I thought it was a paper bag blowing down the road but then 1 second before impact it looked up at me. Bloop bloop. On mt way back 15 minutes later the family was outside crying. I felt like shite.
My Aunt started her car and unfortunately there was a kitty cat in the wrong place under the hood there was fur all over. I didn't know she was in the bathroom crying so I ran in the house and told my cousins what just happened very loudly and laughing my arse off. Next thing I hear is her hysterically crying louder and louder. I felt bad but that shite was funny.
This post was edited on 6/21/17 at 9:25 am
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:24 am to President
Broke my nose with a pile driver putting in 4 inch posts for a retaining wall when my parents were building their house when I was 16. I was pissed and tired from football practice and dad had me out there driving posts. I got mad and slammed it down as hard as I could and it bounced back and got me. Dad looked at me and said, "well now dumbass how is that temper working out for you." He reset it himself and I am good to go today besides not being able to breath out of my right nostril and my nose being crooked.
This post was edited on 6/21/17 at 9:25 am
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:24 am to President
When I was a kid. me and a couple of friends were trying to see how high we could throw a rock. We were at an old gas station throwing it near the sign. I nailed it and it shattered. My dad had to write a big check. I got my arse beat.
Gas station got new sign, closed a couple months later.
Gas station got new sign, closed a couple months later.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:25 am to Raghavan
quote:
Cheat on my girlfriend
You fell and ended up inside someone else? Which one of these was most like your scenario?
Accidental Sex SFW
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:25 am to Gorilla Ball
If you hit into a group thats only 180 yards away, and proceed to hit someone in the hit, you deserve to have your arse kicked.
Now, if they were holding up pace of play and wouldnt let you play through... they deserved it
Now, if they were holding up pace of play and wouldnt let you play through... they deserved it
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:27 am to Paddyshack
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:28 am to rantfan
quote:
My Aunt started her car and unfortunately there was a kitty cat in the wrong place under the hood there was fur all over. I didn't know she was in the bathroom crying so I ran in the house and told my cousins what just happened very loudly and laughing my arse off. Next thing I hear is her hysterically crying louder and louder. I felt bad but that shite was funny.
Yeah animals dying is always F'ing hilarious.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:31 am to OysterPoBoy
Because they were still on the green dicking around, it was a head wind. I just wanted to hit a club instead of waiting for them to finish putting out. It was a damn 5 some
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:32 am to Paddyshack
It was a damn 5some and we were a 2. I didn't hit into them with the intent of hitting someone- just trying to get off the course in under 4.5 hours
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:37 am to President
Summer job through the athletic department.
On top floor of Athletic Admin building during construction......slid a 10' section of cast iron pipe on the floor that slowly breeched the edge of the building. It fell to the ground below and would've easily killed someone.
I yelled immediately in a panic to warn everyone. Below they were fricking pissed and had no idea who did it. Likely would've beat my arse.
I walked off the job that moment never to return.
On top floor of Athletic Admin building during construction......slid a 10' section of cast iron pipe on the floor that slowly breeched the edge of the building. It fell to the ground below and would've easily killed someone.
I yelled immediately in a panic to warn everyone. Below they were fricking pissed and had no idea who did it. Likely would've beat my arse.
I walked off the job that moment never to return.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:41 am to rantfan
quote:
My Aunt started her car and unfortunately there was a kitty cat in the wrong place under the hood there was fur all over. I didn't know she was in the bathroom crying so I ran in the house and told my cousins what just happened very loudly and laughing my arse off. Next thing I hear is her hysterically crying louder and louder. I felt bad but that shite was funny.
I have a similar story. A lady I know had a cable running across her property to stop kids with dirt bikes from driving through her yard. Well one day the cable did its job and killed two kids on a stolen 4 wheeler. I saw her a week or two later and said " well I heard the 4 wheeler races got cancelled." She never forgave me and died three years later.
Posted on 6/21/17 at 9:42 am to rantfan
quote:
My Aunt started her car and unfortunately there was a kitty cat in the wrong place under the hood there was fur all over. I didn't know she was in the bathroom crying so I ran in the house and told my cousins what just happened very loudly and laughing my arse off. Next thing I hear is her hysterically crying louder and louder. I felt bad but that shite was funny.
Did you graduate to murdering children yet?
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