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Started By
Message
Embarrassing Moments
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:45 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:45 am
It's Friday, and I'm feeling confessional.
About a year ago I stopped at a red light in my shiny sports car. Then I feel a pretty solid bump. The F350 behind me had collided with my rear bumper. "MF a-hole jacked-up c-sucker," I thought as I jumped out and approached the guy, who was a much younger baw.
"You rear-ended me, jackass," I yelled, ready to put a Louisiana arse-whipping on him. "No," he calmly (and kindly) replied. "You rolled back into me."
He was right. I had taken the car out of gear, slipped off the brake as I was texting, and rolled back down the slight incline into the guy's truck. That was a lesson in humility.
Whatcha got?
inb4: #thispostshouldbeyourmostembarrassingmoment
inb4: #onecallthatsall
About a year ago I stopped at a red light in my shiny sports car. Then I feel a pretty solid bump. The F350 behind me had collided with my rear bumper. "MF a-hole jacked-up c-sucker," I thought as I jumped out and approached the guy, who was a much younger baw.
"You rear-ended me, jackass," I yelled, ready to put a Louisiana arse-whipping on him. "No," he calmly (and kindly) replied. "You rolled back into me."
He was right. I had taken the car out of gear, slipped off the brake as I was texting, and rolled back down the slight incline into the guy's truck. That was a lesson in humility.
Whatcha got?
inb4: #thispostshouldbeyourmostembarrassingmoment
inb4: #onecallthatsall
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 9:23 am
33
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:46 am to JudgeHolden
That's pretty bad Judge.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:50 am to JudgeHolden
Would have been funny if the young buck would have whooped your old arse.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:51 am to JudgeHolden
You didn't realize you were rolling backwards because you were texting weren't you? 
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:51 am to JudgeHolden
Obvious troll. But im bored.
He should have beat you then fricked your wife, mom, and sister. And daughter, assuming she is 18
He should have beat you then fricked your wife, mom, and sister. And daughter, assuming she is 18
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:55 am to JudgeHolden
Literally too many to count. One of my best was pulling into a Sonic stall and clipping the far ordering sign. Left an 8" deep scratch on the hood of my truck. It was pretty busy and some people even got out of their cars to come see what happened.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:56 am to JudgeHolden
Years ago, the company I work for hired a new secretary for the office. She was a little heavy around the mid-section, she looked pregnant to me, so I asked her how much longer did she have. I knew something was wrong when a co-worker who was standing nearby, exited the room rather quickly trying not to laugh.
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 8:57 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
quote:I read this and thought you were finally going to admit that this was you:
It's Friday, and I'm feeling confessional.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
I was behind a person in a drive through ATM line at my bank. It was taking an unusual amount of time to complete the transaction. It was a Friday or Saturday afternoon and I was in a rush to get somewhere. I honked my horn at the person. An elderly man opened his door and had to step out to grab his cash and gingerly get back into his vehicle. I felt like shite. I thought it was a jackass talking on their phone or something. Turns out it was just an older gentleman who was trying to hurry things along as quick as he could.
This was a year and a half ago and I still feel shitty about it. If I knew who he was or if I ran into him again I would like to buy him some beers and talk to him.
This was a year and a half ago and I still feel shitty about it. If I knew who he was or if I ran into him again I would like to buy him some beers and talk to him.
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 2:21 pm
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
You're lucky you didn't get truck nutted into oblivion.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
Subtle brag about sports car and whipping arse.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:23 am to JudgeHolden
I was in the middle of a fight in 4th grade and suddenly I heard my mom yelling at me to stop fighting.
In addition to the embarrassment of getting busted by my mom, she was wearing a clown costume compete with the red nose and everything. (It was close to Halloween and she was a preschool teacher.)
In addition to the embarrassment of getting busted by my mom, she was wearing a clown costume compete with the red nose and everything. (It was close to Halloween and she was a preschool teacher.)
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:27 am to JudgeHolden
The place I worked at was having a staff meeting, and as people were piling into the conference room, I was getting some coffee and dropped a sugar packet. When I bent over to pick it up, I let out a pretty loud fart that I know a lot of people heard. I acted like nothing had happened but I am sure I was beet red in the face. As I walked to one of the tables to sit down people just gave me a knowing look as I passed by. No one ever said anything about it, though.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:37 am to JudgeHolden
About 4 years ago I slipped on a wet floor in the Rouses on tchoupitoulas and coasted right into one of the checkout lines--it was slammed that day too. Looked like frickin Pete Rose hitting the bag.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:47 am to JudgeHolden
Superdome men's room. I don't know if they still have these, but they had those big round things in the middle where you could wash your hands. It looked kind of like a big tub. Well I was about 10 or 11 and it was pretty crowded in there. I thought it was new urinal. I confidently pissed into it with everyone there. Some man asked me what I was doing and told me that was for handwashing.
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 9:49 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:56 am to JudgeHolden
quote:
shiny sports car
Were you wearing this
Posted on 6/9/17 at 10:04 am to JudgeHolden
In college my buddies and I were walking back from a dining hall. We were messing around and my buddy grabbed my hat and threw it on a football field that had a waist high fence around it. Seeing that one part was partially collapsed I decided to Neo from the Matrix over that mofo. Needless to say the fence wasn't as solid as I hoped and I busted my arse pretty good in front of a lot of people.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 10:09 am to JudgeHolden
I've actually done pretty much the same exact thing.
Was sitting at a red light. My attention was diverted to something on the floorboard. I guess my foot inadvertently lightened on the brake pedal, and the car rolled backward making contact with car behind me.
I naturally assumed the guy behind me rear ended me. We both got out of our cars. The other guy said, "You know you hit me, right?"
I must've had a really confused look on my face as I said, "No I didn't. You hit me." The other guy clearly thought I was on drugs or mentally impaired as he slipped back into his car without saying another word and drove off.
Was sitting at a red light. My attention was diverted to something on the floorboard. I guess my foot inadvertently lightened on the brake pedal, and the car rolled backward making contact with car behind me.
I naturally assumed the guy behind me rear ended me. We both got out of our cars. The other guy said, "You know you hit me, right?"
I must've had a really confused look on my face as I said, "No I didn't. You hit me." The other guy clearly thought I was on drugs or mentally impaired as he slipped back into his car without saying another word and drove off.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 10:12 am to JudgeHolden
quote:
in my shiny sports car
Your Miata isn't a sports car brah
Posted on 6/9/17 at 10:31 am to JudgeHolden
No one is impressed by your Chrysler Sebring.
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